Mystery Man

 
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I'm ridiculously horny right now. Besides sex, what's a good cure?

If i'm reading your question correctly you are looking for ways to stop feeling so "ridiculously horny." There are a few things you can do: 1) Find a community center pool that caters to seniors. Find the really, really old ones as in the 98 year olds, and then picture yourself having sex with them; 2) Eat a lot of garlic and other foods that will give you terrible breath, this will make you feel less horny and more grossed out most of the time; 3) Have you considered, umm, handling your business yourself?

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7 Comments

Gordon

Sorry, girl, there's no substitue for good sex. Some women say a vibrator comes close but I don't know what else to tell ya. I'm sure a bunch of us guys would be glad to try to help you overcome your distress.

Gordon

Sorry, there's no substitute for good sex. Some say a vibrator is close. But if that doesn't do it for you, I know a lot of us guys, and some girls, who would gladly volunteer to do our best to help you overcome this crisis.

Gordon

Don't know why my first comment didn't post til I posted the second one --didn't mean to be repititious.

Brokenhearted051191

There is a substitute for sex, it's not haveing sex, if she wanted sex she wouldn't have asked the question. Hun what you should do is just think about something else. Something like your mom, or pet.

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vibrators are pretty win. just sayin.

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i'm horny as hell and my husband is not appelling any more. he is fat and his attitude sucks.

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cheat on his fat ass. you only live once...do it right...go out and fuckkkkkk

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