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I'm seeing a new guy who is everything I've wanted, but I still have an attachment to my ex. My ex lied often and had a lot of growing up to do, but I have great memories with him too. Now he says he's doing everything he can to change his ways and wants me back. Can he change or should I take a chance on my new guy?

One of two things happen when you break up with someone - you either forget about the good things or forget about the bad things. You have clearly forgotten about the bad things. And this willing forgetfulness makes you consider getting back together with someone that was a habitual liar and woefully immature.

Getting back together with this person, regardless of whether or not he promised to change, means that you'd have to give up a guy "who is everything [you] wanted." So, apparently, this means that you'd prefer a guy with clear shortcomings to a guy that is essentially perfect. Sounds like a really dumb thing to do if you ask me.

Don't date a guy based on potential. Date a guy based on who he is. The guy you have now is apparently a great one. Don't screw that up for someone that is trying to scrape all the bad off himself.

Related Links:


A Break Up After Coming Home

How Can I Get Him Back?

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3 Comments

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Thank you...from the poster! "Don't date a guy based on potential. Date a guy based on who he is." Great advice that I will take to heart.

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Yes, 'don't date a guy based on potential'. That is what is going on with my boyfriend right now, he recently told me he's not over his ex yet and isn't sure how far he can go with me emotionally because of all the stuff going on in his life. I see he has the potential to be good, and he was great to me for the first month and a half, but I don't think I should waste my time on someone who has so many issues to resolve first.

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They are an ex for a reason.

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