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I'm seeing a self-proclaimed party animal. Is it possible he want a good girl that is going to "tame" him? Sometimes it seems he implies that...

He's implying it, or you're reading what you want to hear into what he's saying?

I'm not saying your guy will always be a party animal; people have to settle down eventually if for no other reason than waking up two states from your house with a monkey you stole from the zoo sitting on your chest staring at you gets really stale eventually. But, despite what Hollywood comedies will tell you, changing a person's ways is actually really freakin' hard. And, generally, another person can't make them do it. A person they love can be motivation for them to change, mind you, but you can't force the change.

Trying to make other people into what you want rather than letting them be what they want is a great way to get dumped. If you can't deal with your guy's behavior, then you need to talk to him about it, party animal or not, but otherwise, let him be.

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9 Comments

Jlove

I agree with Dan, you need to accept this guy as he is or be prepared for a world of heartache.

Tariana

My friends and I were having an argument why women tend to want to change their men... I don't think we ever came to a conclusion.

But if you go into a relationship wanting to "tame" someone, I could almost guarantee you the relationship would not work. I think it's better if you want a relationship with someone you're already comfortable with regardless of his lifestyle and choices.

user-pic

I wrote this question so let me clarify...I don't want to change him!! Just that he often makes jokey comments like "I went out monday night when I had an exam tuesday.. I need someone to tell me no, thats a bad idea!" or (as part of a convo) "I think I need to stop being such an undergrad party guy and focus more on ___(my name)! haha".. I dont want to be a buzzkill, in fact I often tell him I like his party ways. Does this make more sense?

silkysly

Tell him to be a grown @$$ man then & do it. We all know actions speak louder than words. He is telling you what you need to hear, to keep you around. Sorry….

Tariana

Uhmmm, maybe he's asking for more attention or pampering from you. Hmmm... That made me think too. HaHaHa!

user-pic

I don't know why, but when I hear a guy say things like "someone needs to tell me no when I do things I know are wrong", it's like asking the chick to be his mother. Another thing a "self-proclaimed party animal who wants the woman to tame him" might be after is an excuse to be a d***head. OR it could be he's trying to appear rebellious. ;)

user-pic

Agreed. If he knows that things he does are wrong, it is HIS responsibility, and his alone, to remedy them. People are responsible for their own behaviour, and you are not his keeper. Sounds like he's trying to set you up to take the blame for his shenanigans while he gets a Get Out Of Jail Free card marked, "it's not my fault- you should have stopped me!"

user-pic

When are you going to post again? You really entertain a lot of people!

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Thanks for sharing this blog post.

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