Advice? No. Harsh truths? I've got plenty!
So, let me get this straight: you like the guy enough to break his girlfriend's heart, apparently there's some sort of shared lust (those "feelings" he supposedly has for you, which, trust me, he doesn't), but there's no actual relationship potential here since you yourself would never date him. And your excuse is "If it wasn't me, it'd be somebody else?" Really?
What you're doing is wrong, and I can tell from your question and your lame justification that you know it's wrong. So knock it off. Bad enough you've decided to hurt somebody else so you can have a human vibrator, don't compound it by trying to shove off the blame.
If I was the girlfriend, I'll dump the guy and let karma do the rest for you.
There are plenty of guys who will sleep with you that don’t have a GF. Shame of you for not considering HER feelings…, fuk yours & his. Don’t you have ANY morals? Sorry.., it had to be said. (I believe in Karma too.)
Amen.
Good answer RP. I can't believe how selfish and uncaring some people are. A good rule to live by: if you wouldn't want it done to you, don't do it to someone else.
Just because you are afraid of intimacy and relationships does not mean you have to boink someone else's boyfriend/husband. Why don;t you go find a FB that is not already in another relationship and that wants the same non-relationship that you do?
I never understand these answers. The one cheating is the guy. The girl is cheating on no one. The sole culprit here is the cheating boyfriend. Whether the girl knows or doesn't know about the girlfriend doesn't matter, the guy chose to cheat on his girlfriend.
(Of course it would be a different story if the other woman knew well or even was friends with the girlfriend...then it's double "cheating." And she is to blame as well.)
The girl is having sex and enjoying herself, the guy is having sex and cheating and is willing to hurt his girlfriend.
I just don't understand why everyone here seems to put all the blame on the girl, when they should be concentrating on the guy.
I disagree. She is part of the problem because she knows that he has a girlfriend. She is cheating too. If he was lying to her that he wasn't seeing anyone then I would consider her innocent but she knows.
If she wants to have sex and enjoy herself there are plenty of single available men that would be happy to oblige and she could do it with integrity and not harming another.
My stance on this is that yes, it is entirely the cheater's fault if they choose to cheat, after all, they could choose anyone (unless it was a deliberate seduction kind of thing). However, just because it isn't the woman he's cheating with's fault that he's cheating, doesn't mean she isn't doing something awful too. By participating in this you're saying that you don't think there's anything wrong with it, that it doesn't disgust you that this person is a cheating, lying scumbag, who's secretly breaking a commitment to someone else. Or you're at least saying that you think it's wrong, but not wrong enough to outweigh your sex drive, which is kinda worse because it implies a level of disrespect for yourself too. What kind of men have you been dating that the type of guy who would disrespect someone and break their trust isn't immediately un-sexworthy for you? Drop this looser and go work on yourself for a while.
I completely agree with you. It drives me crazy that people seem to blame the guy and the girl equally. What she's doing is not particularly thoughtful, true, but if she doesn't know the girlfriend I imagine it's very easy to separate herself from the fact that he's in a relationship. He's the one cheating, he's the bad guy - his relationship and his girlfriend's feelings are not the OP's responsibility, they are his.
I would never trust a woman who slept with and continued to sleep with a guy knowing he had a girlfriend. Knowing she could be so careless and flippant with someone else's life and happiness for her own advantage, someone that is so selfish and so lacking in compassion - I would not want them around me for fear of being shot in the back. Someone like that is not someone I would choose to be friends with, confide in, or trust. If a woman is cheating on a man who has a wife and children, who do you think the children will blame. Isn't she knowingly helping to break up a family? If she didn't know then fair enough, but this questioner knows. Someone who steals something from someone else is usually lacking in some department.
Women like this ... are cheap and easy to come by. I see them all the time. They jump at any sort of male attention because they aren't used to it. I am guessing this questioner has never been in love because if she has then she would truly know what if feels like to imagine someone imposing themselves in your relationship, breaking into your world and stealing the most valuable thing in it. Get your own life - don't take some elses.
the "other women" are screwing around with the boyfriends because the boyfriends are willing to cheat. if the boyfriends were not willing to cheat, the other women wouldn't exist. "Other women" exists only and only because boyfriends are willing to cheat. "other women" are dependent on cheating boyfriends. Thus there is no way in hell that they and the boyfriends can be ever judged on the same level.
I think that the only reason society puts so much blame on the "other women" is because when the girlfriends find out about their cheating boyfriends, they decide that being angry towards the other women is simply easier and more accessible. they get to call them and seem to believe that they are "sluts who chased after their men until the boyfriends become too weak to resist." Being angry at the actual person who broke their hearts is a little harder, as they were persons they trusted. Perhaps that's why so many women take back cheating boyfriends? out of cowardness?
I agree. Also, these people are dating; they're not married. They've made no true commitment to one another. The guy is obviously not completely fulfilled by his girlfriend.
Even if she is not technically cheating since she's not in a relationship, you don't see anything ethically wrong with sleeping with someone who already has a partner? To me, they are both equally at fault. It is wrong to cheat on someone, and wrong to sleep with someone knowing they have a significant other. And lest you think that I am just blaming her because she's a woman, I would feel the same way if the situation were reversed and it was a dude sleeping with a chick who already had a man. Or if it was lesbian love triangle. Or any kind of triangle.
If it's wrong to knowingly hurt or insult someone (even if they are a stranger to you) without cause, then this is wrong.
Guys, there's no blame percentage. When you get cheated on, you don't hire an accountant to go over the books. Ask anybody who's been cheated on; you're angry at both parties.
Granted, it's more than possible that the guy has lied to the woman he's cheating with: there are many women that have been surprised by the wife. I don't really hold the woman responsible in that situation: what was she supposed to do? Hire a PI? She didn't know.
But in situations like this, the woman knows she'll be hurting somebody else, possibly deeply, and just doesn't care. Having a basic lack of empathy for another human being is a bad thing, a VERY bad thing, and there's no excuse for it.
It's a valid point. She didn't make a promise to the gf, so she's not betraying anyone, nor is she obligated to her. A little like getting a job after the last person was fired unjustly- you didn't do anything, you're just reaping the benefits.
But no, it's still wrong. She knows full well that her actions (since it does after all take two to have sex) will directly hurt another human being who has done her no harm, and making the conscious decision to go ahead. Would you aid in a murder or bank robbery because you're "pretty sure" the crime would get committed with or without your help? Sorry- you're still going to jail.
AMEN!!
yesssssssss thank you camille.im sleeping with a man and his game is right.he has a gf.but i trust im only.i dont like sleeping with other guys it not my thing.my mom taught me on man at a time.that doesnt mean to give up ur kitty kat.
She is lacking any conscience or morals and that's despicable since it could be any of our men that she is talking about. He's by far worse, unfortunately just to his gf. Their lives. Their sins. Until it happens to you or someone you know...
I see where you're coming from, and I get your sort of "what the gf doesn't know won't hurt her" mentality. But I will just say that I truly believe that this will come back on you someday. Like SWSNBN said, just wait until it's YOU in the relationship someday and getting cheated on. I bet you'll look at things a little differently.
I am as skanky as they come but I would never "do" a man that I knew to be in a relationship. Why? Because I'm not a fucking asshole.
I also don't want to end up on an episode of Snapped.
"I'm only in it for the sex". What the....?! OK, step away from the SATC box set, you're not Samantha. Life will continue normally if you don't 'get some' for longer than a week. I know women have needs, but come on! & I thought I was low on self-respect!
Coming from a male perspective of having been cheated on/left for another man, honestly I have to agree that the man is far more responsible and much worse than the women sleeping with him. I would say 20/80 or 15/85 her/his fault and blame. She is still doing something wrong but, from my experience, she is doing the girlfriend a favour.
I am almost appreciative of the man who slept with and then married my ex wife. Obviously she was not worth my time and him being in the picture told me that. We got married really young (19, or second year university for those keeping track) as we had a daughter together and it was not great but we kept it going for five years. My ex then went off and abandons me and her daughter, I only wish she had been sleeping around earlier in our relationship to save myself, and my daughter, a lot of pain. (I am not saying that she should have cheated before my daughter was born/existed, I love my daughter and would never wish that she was not in my life)
A year later I met my fiance, on my birthday......I pulled her over for running a red eleven minutes before my shift ended. We talked, she gave me her number, and I gave her a ticket. Hey...it's my job alright. My point is, that the bad comes before the good, especially with romantic relationships.
As I said, the women asking the question is not stain free here, but it is the person in a relationship who is bound by trust to not cheat. I say, go ahead and sleep with him, make it obvious that he is sleeping around and do his girlfriend a favour. Then, when he comes to you after being kicked in the ass, tell him you don't want to be with him. That's what he deserves.
I am usually much nicer than this....but this hits close to home.
whore. get a vibrator if you can't find an unattached man.
Not sure if it matters (because so many people have replied, I think this might be lost), but...I think that I do agree with the posters who say that the OP shouldn't really be blamed or painted as the so-called bad guy in this situation.
I mean, say I was in a relationship and caught my significant other cheating I wouldn't blame her in the slightest for him cheating, even if she was my friend. His lack of self control and, more importantly, lack of respect for me, is something that only he is responsible for.
What am I supposed to blame her for? Giving him the opportunity? Hell, he probably gets the opportunity every time he goes out with his friends without me. I don't have the time or energy to spare worrying about every woman that might have the slightest interest in my guy. He's the one who's supposed to care for me, and he's the one who, ideally, should keep it in his pants out of respect for me. He's the one with whom I made this commitment with, not her.
Sorry to say, but the world, and consequently the people in it, don't really have an obligation to you (or me, for that matter). There are exceptions, of course, like in this case, when you get into a relationship. It's at this point, the two people involved do have obligations to one another, and should respect each other, but it's ridiculous to expect that respect to be extended to everyone else.
I mean, I'm sure everyone has been in a relationship or has witnessed a relationship wherein they think the people involved are terrible for another. I'm sure there have been people who try their very best to break the two up. If the guy can be labeled a "douchebag," or the girl a "bitch," no one cares or even applauds the person who manages to break them up. Where's the respect then?
Or what about the person who has a crush on the boy/girl and wishes for them to break up every single second they're together so they can swoop in. Or the friends who bad talk their friend's significant other every single time they see them.
I know that some, maybe most, people will say those scenarios are different, but honestly, they aren't. It all boils down to a lack of respect for the couple in question. My point, essentially, is that no one outside of the two in the actual relationship should be expected or obligated to respect the relationship. Yes. A nice/good person would, but it doesn't mean they have to. You have every right to get angry at them, label them whatever, but they also have the right to not give a crap what you think or want. They're not looking to be your friend. Your feelings do not matter. It's all part of being in a society. As much as even I would like to think everyone cares about everyone, the harsh truth is that they don't. Most people just care or pretend to care enough so that no one ends up killing another person.
I believe this one hundred percent with only one exception. Specifically, if the woman was my friend or relative. In this case, they do have an obligation to respect, if not my relationship, then me.* If I ever caught my friend sleeping with my significant other, then I will dump the friend just as I would dump the boyfriend, as they both have broken my trust. Even if the woman in question was my boyfriend's friend, I couldn't/wouldn't blame her because, again, she has no obligation to me. I can't blame another person for thinking of themselves and disregarding me. That's just life. Sometimes people let you down, but there's nothing you can do about it except move on.
*In this case, I still would not blame the woman for my guy' cheating, however. The reason I would be upset at my friend would be for not respecting me and for breaking my trust. Essentially, it would be a separate issue between her and I, not him.
First of all, I doubt anyone will read all of that. Too long. But I got the gist of it from your first paragraph.
I don't think everyone's saying she's to BLAME as much as saying she's just /wrong/ for doing it. I completely agree that it's the man's problem and whatever bs he wants to pull in his relationship is his business. But the fact that she's okay with sleeping with him demonstrates that she doesn't give a f*ck about other people's relationships and feelings, which is pretty sh*tty of her.
I read all of it because I am the other woman, having sex with a friend who is in a committed 4 year relationship. I too, would not date him under normal circumstances. The sex is amazing and I'm satisfying my needs with a man I trust and don't have to worry about the usual issues that may arise in a typical dating relationship. So long as his girl does not find out, we should never have a problem, and if I began dating someone I cared about, I would end it with my friend.
tl;dr version:
Is it wrong? Yes. Is it your problem? No.
I agree with the person who said to keep it going and let it be known so much so as to break them up and when he comes to your door, tell him, "well I told you I never wanted to date you nor have a real relationship".
Sorry about your luck pal. Because really you are doing her a favor and hopefully before their relationship gets any further along.
They are two peas in a pod, who are unworthy of anyone's love.
It would be different if the OP had no clue. But that she ALWAYS knew he had a girlfriend is F'd up!! I really hope one day that you get with a guy who starts sleeping with a girl who just wants his penis... And see how much it will be not a problem. I highly doubt that you will be okay with some random chick just sleeping with your husband for his penis and nothing else. Sad.
The only three things that will turn me into a raving lunatic and make me seriously fuck someone up is if you mess with my child, my money or my man. If I was being cheated on and the girl KNEW about me, then after I dumped the guy I would find the bitch. She would regret what she did.
This is my life this week except, I'M the girlfriend! Not cool! The guy and I have been together for 8 years, we own a house, have kids etc. All of a sudden he feels like he needs some excitement. She knew about me and she went along anyway. Wrong, wrong, wrong! I'm here, I'm a real person and my heart is torn into little bitty pieces. Currently, we're going to try to work it out. He flat out told me he has no feelings for her - doesn't know her favorite song, don't know her political views, etc basically they have no history together. I'm justifying this as it was just sex, if he were emotionally involved we would be done like a burnt out light bulb. But really who knows how I'll feel in the next 60 seconds... Your karma will suck for a very long time and you deserve it.
Dude seriously? It should be worse that there was no emotion. What's wrong with you? You forgive him because he cared enough to sleep with someone he had absolutely no feelings for except that he thought she was hot..
Yeah, that's what all the men say when caught. If you believe that you're a fool. I guarantee you he's telling her something completely different. It's wives who refuse to hold their man, or themselves, accountable for their actions that enable cheaters. You're asking to be cheated on over and over because you're deflecting responsibility onto someone who is NOT responsible for you or your relationship. It amazes me how many people can't take ownership or responsibility for their own lives!
The columnist needs to transferred OUT. He sounds just like another holier-than-thou type. Where's the perspective from the player?!
apprently most of the women on here are insane. haha. i dont think its your problem. if the man has a gf and he's sleeping with you then obviously their relationship isnt in a good place. its not your fault they have a shitty relationship. maybe its a litle wrong to sleep with a man you know is commited. but i think the only people to blame are the man and his gf. blame the man because he's obviously not faithful, but honestly who the fuck is these days? and blame his gf for not realizing she is neglecting her man to the point tha he has persude other pussy.
i have personal experience in this. as i sometimes sleep with my friend who has a gf. we're friends. and she doesnt sleep with him. MAN IS AN ANIMAL he needs to be fed. haha jk. but seriosly. if you neglect ur man he will go elsewhere.
....really? That's your stance, that all women on here are insane? ...wow. Regardless, you can't make that kind of statement about the couples' relationship unless you know them. Maybe they are having problems, maybe they aren't. Maybe he wants the excitement of the forbidden, maybe he is just a douche. But saying that a woman who knowingly is having sex with a man in a relationship is blameless is just stupid. I agree the whole blame does not lie with her, but trying to justify his cheating by saying he would do it anyway....really? Honey,remove yourself from the equation. He IS cheating, and YOU are part of the equation. Find someone else (single) to be FB with, not another girls's man.
Funny how I came to this blog out of curiosity because I am in the same predicament. For the past 2 months I have been sleeping wit a guy that is in a relationship. Before you all start blaming and judging me understand I am a 23 year old female i work and go to school working on establishing a secure future for myself. The guy (well call him ) D is my best friends , boyfriends, bestfriend. When I met him he was just getting out of a relationship, From the moment we met there was an instant atraction between us however we never pursued anything at first. Apparently he would always ask for me with my bestfriend but she decided not to relay the message because she knew he was trouble. But since what is meant to happen will happen 4 months later D and i hooked up. By then he was in a new relationship and I knew about the girlfriend but in my mind I dont care about her becasue D and I had an attraction before she came in the picture. Im in no way interested in having a serious relationship with him because obviously he cheated on her so I wouldnt be stupid enough to put myself through that. However we have an awesome friendship and the sex is always amazing. His girlfriend recently broke up with him after finding out about me.I never wanted to come between them because I know that what D and I have is temporary since im leaving for school in less than a month. Am I wrong for sleeping with a man that has a gilfreind? Maybe. Is he wrong for sleeping with me? Yes but so what SEX is part of life and sometimes you cant help who you are phisically atracted to. I see that many people mention that "theres alot of guys out there who would love to sleep wit a single readily available girl" But why would I want to have meaningless possibly dangerous sex with random strangers? Unless you have been in this situation you will never know.
i think u tore a page from my diary coz that my same story. He was beggin for me b4 she came into the picture but i said no coz i kno his reputation but he's insanely sexy and i cant resist him. plus even though the gf has told the whole world how much she loves him...he still flat out denied that he even had a gf and says hes not ready for commitment and they've been dating for more than 6 months. so all u judgemental ppl need to calm down......we both wanna be young wild and free and not tied down.....im 18 and hes 21...i got lotsa male frenz and im sure hes got female frenz....so it is no way my fault
im doing the same thing. A guy I really like as a girlfriend! Do i care no! Not at all! Do you girl. Have fun!
I hurting becuase of woman like you. My boyfriend is sleeping with a woman that seperated from her husband. We had a fight she met him and is sleeping with him. She' just using him for fun but it's breaking my heart. You know what goes with a rake right ( HOE)
Wow...lots of opinions...I'm that woman who is sleeping w/ a man who has a g.f..I have a conscious..and yes I feel bad..I'm not the type of person who thinks "well she must not be doing what he likes in bed"..etc...this man is the man I've always wanted...very hardworke..good heart..makes me laugh..and likes me for who iam..he makes me feel like a queen..and all that good stuff...in the beginning..I had no strong feelings..it was all about the sex..but guess what..its not easy sleeping w/ someone..and not have some type of emotions...I'm hurt..I want him for me only..but I know he won't leave her..nor would I do anything to break it up..my punishment..is a broken heart..and yes I believe in Karma...:(
Wow...lots of opinions...I'm that woman who is sleeping w/ a man who has a g.f..I have a conscious..and yes I feel bad..I'm not the type of person who thinks "well she must not be doing what he likes in bed"..etc...this man is the man I've always wanted...very hardworke..good heart..makes me laugh..and likes me for who iam..he makes me feel like a queen..and all that good stuff...in the beginning..I had no strong feelings..it was all about the sex..but guess what..its not easy sleeping w/ someone..and not have some type of emotions...I'm hurt..I want him for me only..but I know he won't leave her..nor would I do anything to break it up..my punishment..is a broken heart..and yes I believe in Karma...:(
Part of the problem is people jump into relationship status way too fast...before they are ready and find themselves in a commitment they were not ready for. Instead of having the balls to end it in hopes of finding a better match they drag it out for years, never marrying the incumbant if you will then wasting years of both their lives and passing more suitable prospects by. If people were more secure, less relationship needy and took time to date before the big commitment perhaps there would be less affairs, divorces and heartbreaks and yes...missed opportunities. Get your minds right, take your time, date around and do NOT commit until you have found the one you can commit to. Why force yourself to be with anyone because your bound by an unthoughtout "commitment"
And after you get past the endorphines and the emotional stage you may just find your hurting simply because you signed that contract a bit too soon. Find someone you cannot live without instead of settling with someone you can live with....hundreds of good guys but doesn't mean that a good guy or a good girl is the best one for you. Id bet if you really thought abt it you had doubts abt the realtionship before the affair to...consider it a key that broke the chains of engagement before more time was wasted...find your match and he can find his
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my longtime boyfreind is cheating on me with someone who knows we are in a relationship. i talked to her and told her to cut it out. she said i should talk to him because he comes her. she also said if he continues to come to her she will continue to gladly accept him. my boyfriend and i had a long heartfelt conversation and he said he is cheating becausee i suck in the bedroom and he is fed up and not at all satisfied. he is right, i haven't been doing my part in the bedroom, everything else is alright. i have no sex drive and i have very low self esteem. i am not happy about my body and i have never gotten over the fact that he cheated with a younger, tiny girl and they had a child together. all this has affected me plus i think i am going though menapause. he should have talked to me before he cheated both times and maybe we could have figured out a better solution. i am beyond hurt but i love him and i won't leave him. i think he may leave me, in a way he already has. it isn't easy to walk away. i hate woman who cheat with involved guys. but karma is a BIG BITCH. and it applies to all involved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm a person who was with my ex-husband for 14 yrs, and we got married after he cheated on me 4 of those yrs. We are no longer together now because of all of what i went through, truly through my experience i am not mad because it made me a better person but also yes its wrong to sleep with men who are in relationship but then again its not because in reality God made it for people to get married not just sleeping around so either way you will get hurt because this is not how God intended on people living, it says it in the bible already so really all i can say is get in the will of God and let him give you the person he has for you. They say what goes around comes back around, yes it does but either way your going to get hurt by someone in life wether you hurt someone else or not, its just part of life. People feelings change and you can't help who you fall in love with wether they are in a relationship or not, its different if they are married because thats wrong!
Girlfriends and boyfriends come and go. It's not like we're talking about husband and wife here. The girlfriend doesn't have any special rights. If she did, she would be called the wife and not the girlfriend. The only thing I would say to the so-called "other woman" is to not get to caught up in the boyfriend unless you don't mind cheaters. If he lied to his girlfriend, we do know he is very capable of lying to you, too.
Listen everyone, you can't help who you fall in love with. I can somewhat agree with the girl helping him cheat. I have been dating a man who was my childhood crush. We recently met and realize how much we have in common. We suddenly became great friends because we would hang out alot with mutual friends. Since then, I have been secretly seeing him. He explained to me that he had a girlfriend that he respects but cannot leave her because he has been with her for some years now. As we hung out more, we really enjoyed each other companies and talk daily. One thing led to another and now we are in separable. I know what I am doing is wrong but as humans, we can"t help how we feel. He treats me like a princess, we go out together, spend quality time together and take trips. I never ask about his girlfriend and he never mentions her. I feel what we have is stronger than love, it's special. He is very attentive to meand I have been hurt before. That being said, why not enjoy the time together? I use to believe all men were assholes but after meeting him even with a girlfriend, I have gain self confidences and respect. I feel guilty at times for accepting it but then again, they are not married and most guys cheat because they just can't seem to let go. I believe that as humans, it is possible to love more than one person and in my situation...I would rather be with someone who treats me right. Until I feel like I want him all to myself, then maybe this excitement will end, as of now...wrong or right, I am happy and he is tooo.
I keep reading the "can't help how we feel" excuse.
No you can't help your feelings but you CAN help your actions. And your actions speak to tr kid of woman you are than your words.
I think any woman who cheats with a guy is telling him "She" is not worth it. She has no self respect and is afraid of competition, Lets face it, she is giving this guy a free ride because she is aware that if she asks her CHEATING partner to leave his faithful girlfriend, he will run a mile ! He See's his bit on the side as a Hoe (his words not mine), He has no respect for either of the girls, he is a lying cheating low life! He is in love with himself and always will be. He is ruining his girlfriends chance and yours of finding someone true. What would his girlfriend say if he told her about you? she may stay with him or she may throw him out ! Would you really be happy being with someone who could be so cold and callus with someone else's feeling? He is using both girls and I bet he never pays for anything?
I think any woman who cheats with a guy is telling him "She" is not worth it. She has no self respect and is afraid of competition, Lets face it, she is giving this guy a free ride because she is aware that if she asks her CHEATING partner to leave his faithful girlfriend, he will run a mile ! He See's his bit on the side as a Hoe (his words not mine), He has no respect for either of the girls, he is a lying cheating low life! He is in love with himself and always will be. He is ruining his girlfriends chance and yours of finding someone true. What would his girlfriend say if he told her about you? she may stay with him or she may throw him out ! Would you really be happy being with someone who could be so cold and callus with someone else's feeling? He is using both girls and I bet he never pays for anything?
I am in the same situation as many other women here... i actually meet we'll call him David thru a friend...She was suppose to be a good friend of mine...not until after the deed was done she told me that he had a girlfriend...and because she wanted to befriend the gf she did not want us to see each other....some times its not the "other woman's" fault, but lying bitch ass so called friends....
ok for one the point is u know he has a girlfriend..shame on u bt the fact thts u guys r having sex while he has a girlfriend shame on him.. but u reali need to get out of this mess b4 it gets to messy...Have u ever thought that if hes having sex wtih u while he has a gf how many more gurls is he having sex with on the side. Get out while u can im pretty sure u dont need to be mixed up with that....Just think if you where the girlfriend in this situation i bet u would b pissed cause thats ur man not n e body elses. Imagine how u would feel if sumone had to tell u tht he was cheating on u? I bet she would feel 10 times worse...just think aboutt that real hard..
Get out as soon as you can. I ended up in a similar situation through weakness and needing affection. He pursued me and fed my ego...and I knew he had a GF but didn't know they were living together until I crossed the line. I rationalized it as "just needing sex" and that he was a friend and safe. But, I quickly felt badly about what I was doing - and the person who asked this question must too if she is posting.
I ended it after a few meetings. Here are the reasons.
1. I don't believe I should do this to another person even though don't know his girlfriend. And, not because of Karma...because it is just not right and I expect more from MYSELF.
2. He is a cheat. Forget that you wouldn't date him, or want to date him. Why woud you give something so personal and so intimate to a person with such low moral and ethical standards. I want sex to remain special for me.
3. It is dangerous. There is NO DOUBT that he is sleeping with other women.
4. You should not use people...doesn't matter what he thinks. You are using that person.
5. This is the biggest issue for me...When you compromise your principals, you weaken yourself. I compromised my principals and not a day goes by now (and it's only been 2-months beginning to end) that I don't regret and am not ashamed of myself.
Stop now...for many reasons.
I went through a similar situation, except that we never slept together and he had children with her.
Even though I never slept with him, I feel just as awful, because I knew right from the beginning that he was in a relationship. I didn't find out about the children until a couple months later. But he kept pursuing me, and telling me he was no longer with her; there was no real way of verifying how true that was, and I ended up in a situation where I was worried and paranoid about her still being in the picture, and whether or not he was lying to me.
Once he made it official that he was back with her, that was all I needed. I pulled the plug on everything including our friendship.
It wasn't fair to her, or to their kids, because I still had feelings for him. They were strong, unlike anything I had ever felt for anyone else, but I would rather sacrifice my own feelings than hurt someone else's, especially a child's. I'm not trying to sound like a Mother Teresa type, but it's just that when you truly like someone, it's a whole lot easier to put yourself in the shoes of the person who's being cheated on, and imagine if that were you.
I am dating a man with a girlfriend. We enjoy each other's company and sex. It is what it is. Many statements have been made about karma. She wants a commitment he doesn't want to give and I am not stupid enough to think he would give me one. She needs to move on. If he became available, would I get into a relationship with him? Doubt it. Everyone's situation is different. If I decide I want more, I will dump him. I know him well enough that if he wanted to commit to her, he would. She needs the reality check, not me.
I'm "seeing" a man with a gf and I don't feel any obligation to her at all. I don't have a shortage of men calling or pursuing me. I don't have low self esteem I'm attractive smart hard working and meet plenty of men. Some single men are single for a reason. They lack what I need right now. If the poster of this thread enjoys what she has for now she should have it.
I believe people know what is going on in their relationships and they choose. Whether they choose to ignore the signs the relationship failing or is over and continue fighting a losing battle is their choice. Why hold on to a situation that's causing u pain? That's low self esteem and unhealthy. Knowing what u want and having it now, that's self confidence (job money cars relationships etc..) Women with cheating men grow up get some backbone and move on. Your unhappy and dissatisfied. The other women is getting what she wants for now.
In Marriage its different two people made a promise before God to commit and accept the ups and downs. They have to work thru it. But gf/bf? Ehh not so much.
You know how I know my relationship has problems? When my man has the balls to tell me to my face or dump me.
Until then don't try to put any blame on tr gf that you don't care about just to make you feel better about being someone else's
PIECE.
I guess all you need is sex because any man that can cheat on a girl with you is only ever goin to give you that plus empty promises to keep you in bed with him.
You completed a number of nice points there. I did a search on the issue and found nearly all people will have the same opinion with your blog. 809273
I met a man, who was just a friend for months, thru a horrible tragedy that happened to me...I am married. When we met, my husband and I had just split. He was there for that as well, then when the tragedy happened, my husband and I got back together for 3 mos...now I had been talking to the other man for 4 mos...just as friends. Never seeing eachother. Then my husband and I split again, and I started to see more of my friend, and we started to have an intimate relationship after knowing eachother for 6 mos...he has been there for me in SO many ways, my husband couldn't be, and has listened to my heart break time and time again from what happened to me. He has a girlfriend. He told me the night we met. It hasnt phased either of us at all. I wasnt concerned with or about her during the friendship, but now I feel like he is feeling some guilt, as we are seeing eachother more and more and talk a lot....and the last 3 or 4 days he has distanced himself...this was also at the same time I let him know I told my ex I was sleeping with someone else, because he asked me point blank. So I was honest....I feel sad to think I've never cared what she would do if she knew, I haven't even ever asked her name. I can't, I don't want to think she really is real....:( he has been like a savior to me and now the thought of him not being in my life is hitting me. I'm crushed. I've never felt so safe, as I do with him. He protected me :( I can't express to him how I feel, because he and I are casual. NSA type of thing. Although he is the only person I'm sleeping with and want to.
i slept in another woman's bed with her man and loved it xx
Let he who has not sinned throw the first stone. Every time someone says they won't do something that someone else does, ultimately ends up doing that or worse. There is no one that is moral on this earth, Jesus was the only perfect one and is the only judge. With that said, it doesn't seem like a good situation to be in, for yourself. I had a friend do that to me with the guy I was seeing and I thank her for it, I thank God I did not end up with the guy and was free to find someone for me. Don't worry about people who have mean comments, this is between you and God, and you need to decide what to do with your life. Too bad there aren't more comments to help people out of there messes instead of mud slinging from people who aren't perfect themselves.
I know people who judge people for having sex before marriage even though they themselves did.
The site loading speed is incredible. 421290
WOW, Okay. I hope what you put out there comes right back and smacks you in the face. Which, it will. Girls with your reputation, a guy will not take you
seriously. You're a booty call, THAT'S ALL. (he doesn't want to make you his girlfriend). Sneaking around is what gives him a boner not you. Not only does he have a sever psychological problem, but from your ignorant,
rhetorical, completely moronic question. You proved to the world here you clearly have one as well. Find some self respect whore.
What a lovely day for a 715939! SCK was here
I have slept with a guy with a girlfriend. And it has taught me not to do it ever again. If you're sleeping with someone it means your attracted to them. Who sleeps with someone their not attracted to? If you're attracted to them you'll eventually want more. And you'll never get it. Guys cheat because they don't want to leave their girlfriends. Otherwise they can just break up with her and guess what? They don't have to sneak around.. Getting back you're self esteem and your life is just an added bonus.
You people are full of it, it is what the fuck it is and if she single the blame us in him he's the liar he's the cheater I have been in both ends of a situation like this and my views still remain the same girl keep getting that dick trust me she would do it to you but honestly it sounds like you do have feelings
I'm the other woman.. I have been sleeping with this man for more than a year and a half. We spend plenty of time together that's its hard for me to believe he has a girlfriend for 5 years...they do live together and at forst I felt really bad that her man was flirting with me and it took me a year to give in to his advances. I had a boyfriend who I was madly in love with but he was cheating on me over and over. I felt lost, lonely and wanted attention so I gave in...now this man tells me he has deep feelings for me and we even love each other. The thing about this sistuation is its more than sex. At first that's al it was but now...we take trips around together...and he plays for everything..we have long conversations and we make each other laugh...we have a daily routine of working out at the gym together and he has given me money to purchase my new cadallic cts coupe...2012 cash out....and when I see his girlfriend I don't even get jealous...because I have the perks...she drives a beat up GEO. I know he sleeps with other women but he don't take care of them like he does me....why would I stop
I'm the other woman.. I have been sleeping with this man for more than a year and a half. We spend plenty of time together that's its hard for me to believe he has a girlfriend for 5 years...they do live together and at forst I felt really bad that her man was flirting with me and it took me a year to give in to his advances. I had a boyfriend who I was madly in love with but he was cheating on me over and over. I felt lost, lonely and wanted attention so I gave in...now this man tells me he has deep feelings for me and we even love each other. The thing about this sistuation is its more than sex. At first that's al it was but now...we take trips around together...and he plays for everything..we have long conversations and we make each other laugh...we have a daily routine of working out at the gym together and he has given me money to purchase my new cadallic cts coupe...2012 cash out....and when I see his girlfriend I don't even get jealous...because I have the perks...she drives a beat up GEO. I know he sleeps with other women but he don't take care of them like he does me....why would I stop
First and foremost. I keep reading COMMITMENT. People that want to say its wrong are WRONG!!! There is NO commitment outside of marriage. I am a mother of teenage boys and none of them have a wife and until they do they are SINGLE, weather they cohabitate or not, AND THAT IS THE TRUTH. Don't listen to people that want to judge and try to use the moral language in this situation because he is sinning with you just like he is with her. In the eyes of God everybody is wrong and why would he make you pay for something that he considers wrong from the start. THERE IS NO KARMA IN THIS SITUATION!!!!!!!They are just boyfriend and girlfriend for a reason and that reason is somebody don't want a real commitment. AND when he finds someone he really loves, watch and see don't he put a ring on it. I would say because you can have more fun not sleeping with him and keep yourself free from unhealthy soul ties don't do it for that reason. God Bless sweetie.
First and foremost. I keep reading COMMITMENT. People that want to say its wrong are WRONG!!! There is NO commitment outside of marriage. I am a mother of teenage boys and none of them have a wife and until they do they are SINGLE, weather they cohabitate or not, AND THAT IS THE TRUTH. Don't listen to people that want to judge and try to use the moral language in this situation because he is sinning with you just like he is with her. In the eyes of God everybody is wrong and why would he make you pay for something that he considers wrong from the start. THERE IS NO KARMA IN THIS SITUATION!!!!!!!They are just boyfriend and girlfriend for a reason and that reason is somebody don't want a real commitment. AND when he finds someone he really loves, watch and see don't he put a ring on it. I would say because you can have more fun not sleeping with him and keep yourself free from unhealthy soul ties don't do it for that reason. God Bless sweetie.
Hello, my name is brian sluk, I recently had a relation trouble that almose made me commit sucide, because the only one true woan i love was laft me because she travelled to finish her education in foreign country. she was no longer returning my calls or emails, till she clearly told me she is now dating someone else that life has to move on that i should do the same.
It hurt me so badly like my whole life is about to end, then i went online to know if there was anything i can do to change things then i saw people talking about a great spell caster whose email is templeofancientancestors@gmail.com, i did the same by contacting him because i needed her desperately and the spell caster did brought her back after 2days, we were now so much inlove all of a sudden, she started calling apologising, she calls morning, afternoon, and evening, just to make sure am okay.
The spell caster really changed everything to good if not i would have done something harmful to my self.
All thanks to the great spell caster, contact him on issues.
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I can't thank you enough for all that you have done for me. About a year ago I and my partner split up, we had both made BIG mistakes in our relationship. He ended up moving away from me to pursue a new life. I knew in my heart that he would be the only
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What a lovely day for a 4674610! SCK was here
I sincerely hope that one day you find the perfect man, fall head over heels for him, get married, and then find out he's sleeping with some nasty slut like you on the side.
What a lovely day for a 1627661! SCK was here
I am sleeping with a man that has a girl friend,
But I only see him when he breaks up with her,
They don't get along that much , she doesn't
Like sex that much and I am a sex addict, we
Laugh and tell stories just have a good time,
The other girl will dump him like she usually
Does, I'm not a whore I see only him!! It's when
He is threw and breaks it off with her or vise
Versal!!!!! Am I wrong were all single here , no rings
Attached to eitheir one, I don't want one!!!
Just friend ship and sex!!!!
Thank you for a spell lady "priestessifaa@yahoo.com". It's so good to know that such geniue and experienced spell casters still exist. I lost my job 6months ago but i am so hapy to say priestess Ifaa brought me a even a more paying one just 3months, Just that i didn't meet the spell lady on time. I advise you to meet this spell lady if you need help in any area of life because i wouldn't like anyone to the suffer the pains i went through when life was unbearable for me because i had nothing in total. But since i met this spell lady things changed once for the best.
Andrelina
So, i have feelings for this guy that i know since middle school, We been messing around for 4 years he has a Girlfriend & I am Married. But we both have feelings for each other. He says he loves me and all that but i don't know if his telling me the truth or he just saying this to get in my pants? I know is wrong what were doing But he makes me feel Wanted he makes me feel good.. What should i do? Advice please
HELLO to my friends out there i am testifying about the good work of a man who help me it has been hell from the day my husband left me i am a woman with two kids my problem stated when the father of my kids travel i never help he was living but as at two weeks i did not set my eye on my husband i try calling but he was not taken my call some week he call me telling me that he has found love some where easy at first i never take to be serous but day after he came to the house to pick his things that was the time i notice that things is going bad i help he will come back but things was going bad day by day i needed to talk to someone about it so i went to his friend but there was no help so i give it up on him month later i met on the the internet a spell caster i never believe on this but i needed my men back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it for doing sake but after three day my husband called me telling me that he his coming home i still do not believe but as at the six day the father to my kids came to the house asking me to for give him the spell work to said to my self from that day i was happy with my family thanks to the esango priest of (abamieghe)esango priest he his a great man you need to try him you can as well to tell him your problem so that he can be of help to you his content email is this esangopriest@gmail.com indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. remember his email is esangopriest@gmail.com