I'm going to give you the same answer I gave to the question about going to Michael Bay movies: just stop doing it. Man, I'm lucky someone asked such a bizarrely appropriate and seemingly unlikely question on a site about dating advice, or this whole paragraph would have fallen apart.
But yeah, don't pick up after your guy if you don't feel like doing it. Because doing it when you don't feel like doing it, or feel unappreciated for it, isn't helping anyone. He'll learn that it's okay to let his ability to keep from wallowing in filth atrophy entirely, and you'll become a bitter, seething demon of resentment. Then one day they'll find him dead with a dirty sock stuffed into his mouth.
Tell him earnestly that you need him to help out more. From that moment on, just clean as much as you want to...your stuff only, if that's what it comes to. Yes, it will get filthy before it gets cleaner, but steel yourself. This is a dirty, horrible marathon, not a sprint.
Ideally, he'll come to his senses and get on the ball. If he doesn't, he's showing that he doesn't really have a lot invested in this relationship. It's not a cleanliness thing; it's a respect, consideration, and willingness to integrate the other person into your life thing. If washing a dish is a dealbreaker for him, you're better off not making the deal.
I wish this applied to roomies.
I'm pretty sure it does.
ok so my man does help out sometimes but i feel like im constantly doing more and constantly nagging him for him to help out more while hell just sit there and do nothing .We have kids so i cant just let the house become nasty for him to realize, and its not even just cleaning like it take months of me harassing to get him to fix things around the house . and hen we fight about it he say you new how i was when we got together . but i mean 6 years ago we were both diff pple . partying and no care in the world should he not see we have responsibility and a need to be in a safe clean environment . and once before i did leave it and i mean i left everything i ddint even clean my own stuff ( before we had kids ) and the house got so bad until he finally cleaned it . and now he try to put that on me like he cleaned up after me so i should always to it for him now or something even tho i explane that was to see if and when he would ever do it . help i dont no what else to do . like i can ask him to switch the laundry after an entire day of me with the kids and cleaning and him sitting on the computer ALL day and hell say ya just not this second and i leave it . and he just doesnt even do it . so i end up having to do it . any suggestions?
I know the feeling! My boyfriend works quite abit, but the second he gets in he just sits there! I spend all day tidying up his shit and he just comes in and leaves his stuff everywhere! He's more interested in getting stoned and playing the Xbox. So, I've just destroyed his room and he can sort it out when he gets back. Men suck!
Yes my bf don't even work we don't have kids either we been together five years and he's never changed I work twelve hr shifts everyday while he sleeps hell let the dishes sit there till the food will start rotting in it I have threatened to leave and that will work for a day but he's a mommas boy to the exstreme an had had everything handed to him he's always lieing to me telling me he's working or something when he's really at his moms house ....I don't want to leave him cause I love him .....any advice??
Yes my bf don't even work we don't have kids either we been together five years and he's never changed I work twelve hr shifts everyday while he sleeps hell let the dishes sit there till the food will start rotting in it I have threatened to leave and that will work for a day but he's a mommas boy to the exstreme an had had everything handed to him he's always lieing to me telling me he's working or something when he's really at his moms house ....I don't want to leave him cause I love him .....any advice??