Generally it's frowned upon, much like sleeping with other people, flashing other people, wrestling with other people while you're in a relationship. There are some things that you just shouldn't do.
But there is an except to the flirting rule: if you and your boyfriend were to both benefit from your flirting (and your boyfriend is okay with it), I think flirting is okay.
Say you were out at a jewelry store looking at a necklace and your boyfriend was at home, dutifully playing Call of Duty and some random Joe comes into the jewelry store and starts up a convo with you and tells you how beautiful you are, etc. You can play that up because maybe you'll get some free jewelry out of it, which in turn is good for your boyfriend because he won't have to pay for jewelry and can spend his hard-earned money on something else for you two.
Beneficial flirting is definitely okay. Shucks, when me and my girlfriend go out, I ask her to flirt with the male waiters so hopefully we can get a free drink or something.
But other than that, no. You should respect your man's desire to not have his woman out there looking loose and floozy like by smiling and cooing all up in some random guys face. Would you like it if your boyfriend was out there touching on some other woman's elbow? You wouldn't like that, would you? Nope.
Stop it.
It was written
totally agree!
This completely contradicts Reformed Player's advice from a couple of weeks ago...
http://www.guyspeak.com/answers/i-love-my-fiance-but-i-am-such-a-dirty-flirt-as-a-waitress-i-cant-help-but-to-endlessly-flirt-with-o/
that is not surprising at all. we tend to view a lot of stuff differently. reform only goes so far. ha!
haha - I'm with you all the way on this question!
I was just thinking that! I'm glad Mr.Jackson here could confirm my opposition to Reformed Player's answer.
As much as it pains me, I am going to disagree with Panama. THough not quite fully agree with RP.
First, I think you have to agree what is flirting, and what is just being a fun, friendly person, which I am, to no disrespect of any guy I'm with. I'm just drawn that way. ;)
Flirting is really just a way of having fun, and bringing other people in on your party. That's it.
I think a guy is pretty aware of his girl's personality, and knows whether or not she is out smiling and laughing when she's in public with or without him. So, he bears some responsibility for being secure while he is in a relationship with an outgoing girl.
Still, I believe people need to define the boundaries of their relationship and know what's okay and what's not okay in terms of keeping the other person's trust intact.
If you are flirting to instigate a sexual advance and you know your partner doesn't like it, then you'recrossing the line -- unless, of course, your partner will benefit from the addition of said person to the experience. ;)
I've flirted with many people, rarely with the intent of having sex, but
ALWAYS with the intent of making their day a little better. And I don't see anything wrong with that. The world can use a little more fun.
Is touching a woman's elbow a form of flirting for a man? I never knew. I might have been getting *major* play and didn't even know it...
And, P.S., Panama, Mr. Jackson, Sexxy Everywhere He Goes: I get your point. I just think people confuse a lot of things for flirting when they really aren't. Happens to me all the time.
I say flirting is only good if it's a benifit. Like if you're a waitress or someother line of work that earns tips. If you aren't nice and a bit flirty you get hardly any tips. that type of flirting I feel is harmless as it helps bring home money for bills and such. That kind of flirting is ok because when you're out in front to public if you don't seem sweet or caring that could mean your job and last I knew jobs were good to have.
The type of flirting that I don't agree with when you're with someone is the touchy feely, batting the eyelashes and signaling that it's ok. That kind of flirting while in a realationship, even a trusting one, can lead to jealousy and suspicion and other things not healthy to induce. There's a reason strip clubs don't like your guy/gal to come there while it's your shift (if that's what you work there) it's called jeaslousy that leads to harming their customer base. While not everyone gets jealous with things like that alot of us out there do.
So if you feel the need to flirt why not flirt some with your lover? It makes them feel like you still have interest in them, boosts their interest in you and all around equals a good time had by all. Hell that's also what helps make relationships that people wish they too could have. And if you can't flirt with just them them maybe it's time to think if you're better off single and can flirt away without wondering what may or may not make your lover jealous or call cheating, get it out of your system and then pick a person to dote all your feelings towards that one person you care about.
But in the end as with all things while being part of a couple, DISCUSS IT!!! Figure out what line(s) need to be drawn and hopefully everyone is happy.
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What the hell.. TNP feature. YL...she really love basking in the limelight. All this thing never affect her at all.. She is back to her old ways again, flirting with all men.
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