He is smart. You are the asshole.
Do I need elaborate yet again?
He pulls this shit because he can. He knows your moods and cooldown periods - which are pretty much constants across women. How the hell you think Players manage to play! He had best be either loaded or have a 12" tongue and plenty both upstairs and downstairs for you to put up with this crap more than twice.
Grow up, kick his ass out of your life for good and all, and stop looking for someone to give you a reason to do what you know what you should do. That's what adults do.
Published early as I have a rather long flight to deal with.
I just can't stop laughing while reading this. Not to be mean or anything but I just love the fact that MM gets brutally frank over this one. Sometimes we women need a big whack on the head to get it.
But it really is true. Players don't play unless there's something or someone to be played with. You don't get respect unless you respect yourself first, my dad always told me and my brothers.
This issue, however, was a hard lesson for me before I met my wonderful significant other. I thank my lucky stars for that, and now know a bit more about making sure I'm not being taken for granted.
hahaha @ "He is smart. You are the asshole"
This is a rough one. We want to see the good, believe in them.....even though we know deep down that this kind of behavior is a red flag. Ask yourself, if this was being done to a friend, what would you say to her?
Good men who are really into you don't make that "mistake" more than once.
This can be more complex. For example, I was in a relationship with someone who would not voice her desire, let alone needs, despite me asking her directly what they were.
I, of course, voiced mine. (I have been the one to sit down with a gf/lover with pen and paper, and write our wants and needs, and discuss them.)
One time, we had plans to go somewhere. At the last minute, she changed things, saying she was going with her mom, and she'd see me later. I got a little frustrated and told her so. She got all bent out of shape, hung up on me. She later came back saying sorry and all....but this wasn't the first or last time I didn't do exactly as she had wanted at whatever time. Ultimately, it was always my fault, and she had to 'break' from me.
Never mind that she, in a crazed outburst, accused me of stealing a family heirloom that I ended up finding stashed in the top of her closet, some time in the middle of our time together. I never acted defensive, and lovingly forgave her when she found she had gone crazy. Obviously, I shouldn'tve - cos she was fuckin crazy!
But if she were telling the story, especially to friends, I know how it would be told. And most females would believe her.
Bottom line: dump what Culture has told you and conditioned you to think and feel. Do not 'trust'. Have 'conviction' and 'confidence in your perception of things. Others either are compatible/complementary - or *not*.