Heyo lass. Checked out your full situation (thank you for the detail - sometimes it is good to use the question box twice) and I gotta say this guy sounds more like a zero than a hero to me. But not for the reason you might think.
A relationship is ideally an equal partnership. You are invested in making this one work, he, to be blunt, is not. From the other details you provided, he probably never will be in the way you want.
Now, before you boot him out of your life, it is time to sit down and have a long chat with yourself. Why did you get back with him? Why do you tolerate his lack of attention? Do you really think that is all you are worth? Most importantly, why is he failing to meet your needs?
I am not saying he is a bad or neglectful person, or even a bad lover. He is not. He is, however, not the person you need to be with right now. You need something he, for whatever reason, simply cannot give. He'll not change, not in the time you have left together. You can, if you wish.
Take a good hard look at yourself.
I am going to go out on a limb here and say you, due to your current circumstances, are hunting more for reassurance and a feeling of safety and belonging. The Dad bit not Brad Pitt, if you will.
You want to be cherished before you have to leave, and, instead of turning to the one person you can truly rely on - yourself - you look for it from an outside source. That is not a good thing for you or for your partner. Not fair on either of you now, is it?
Now, as to what you do - well. You have 6 weeks left before you leave. You can split with him now, or you can simply enjoy your remaining time together without getting stressed about it and split when you leave with, no hard feelings and no regrets.
You are, from what I have seen of you, a tough, smart and compassionate lady. Apply a little of that compassion to yourself.
PS - rxy, I am sorry. Not neglecting you, I simply got nothing here for your situation. GBFF or RP might have better advice.
I'm in the same situation and for some reason can't leave my bf (as if I'm possessed by him). I know his bad for me but cant seem to face the truth and split up with him.
I always attract the damaged or emotionally unavailable dudes, as if I'm holding a sign to come my way.
Can't is not good. Won't is worse.
I hope I'll have the courage to stay from him, I've just told him that we aren't right for each other. Sometimes when you get to comfy with someone it's hard to leave them.
A bit of me is sad but hope in time I'll realise is the best decision I've made in a while.
"I always attract the damaged or emotionally unavailable dudes" --> I used to think this way too, and I realized I needed to do something about it. So I worked on myself (a lot of healing, letting go, forgiving, meditating, affirming, etc.) until I came to a place where I could say I only attract men who are worth my time and energy. It took a couple of years and a lot of faith. I'm now where I'm supposed to be with a man who's not perfect but just right for me. :)
Guess I'll let the healing begin ;)
I stayed in a sucky relationship longer that I should have. He didn’t little or nothing to contribute to us. I noticed as time passed, I rarely smiled. I put my heart aside one day & asked myself, “Would life be less complicated doing for one vs two?” I chose me over us. I’m a much happier person now, but still single. Sometimes I ask myself if I set the bar to high, then I remind myself that I’m worth it. :o)
Ladies--I was in a similar situation 4 months ago. My bf and I had been together for almost 5 years, none of those were very happy but he was a really good guy. He might have been a really good guy, but not for me. It is hard, but so much better to be alone than being unhappy with someone. It obviously took me a long time to figure that out, but I'm so much happier now! You need to be happy in life, it is long, and you should be with someone that makes you happy. I haven't found that person yet, but I hope to. In the meantime, I'm being happy by myself!
Wow, MM. I almost feel like you know me. I don't know what to say, except thank you so much for this.
All part of the service.
You think on it some and take care.
This is exactly why I broke up with my last boyfriend. I was putting in 110% of myself to make it work and he was barely trying at all. I didn't realize how much it was sucking the life out of me until my friends pointed out that I was becoming an increasingly bitter and unhappy person. When I realized the relationship was unhealthy for me, I broke it off, and honestly, it felt like more of a relief than a loss. It sucked, but ultimately, it was for the better.
I agree w/ MM. It's time for self-reflection & deciding what you're worth. I think what most women miss is: They attract the guys they think or feel they deserve. MOST not all. Most women have the "motherly instinct" to care for the emotionally unavailable or damaged guy. We can't change nor fix them. I always thought I was doomed to be w/ a guy like that. Then I got cancer & had nothing but boatloads of time for self-reflection & deciding once I beat it how I was going to live the rest of my life. I realized I'm stronger than I once thought, I'm an awesome person & I deserve someone who's equally as awesome, & can appreciate me for me. No, I'm not cocky by any means, I just realized I'm no longer willing to settle for anything less than I deserve. I'd rather be alone & happy, than w/ someone who doesn't truly make me happy, or appreciate me for me. Everyone deserves to be happy, you just have to decide what you're worth & willing to deal with.
Honestly you'd do better with a teddy bear or body pillow instead--those make you feel good all the time. Or maybe that's just me.