What?? What?? Hold on a second. I need to pick my jaw up off of the floor. Why are you you still with this guy? It is absolutely not your fault. This guy is a controlling, abusive monster. Read up on the signs of an abusive relationship. Leave him now. If you're scared, talk to a domestic violence counselor.
He said he'd stop caring about you or smash your iPhone? Neither of those should be options. This guy has serious jealousy and trust issues. Actually, smashing your phone because he thinks you're acting shady goes beyond jealousy issues. This guy's a straight-up nutjob. There is never any good reason for him to destroy your possessions. Destroying your phone is the move of a classic controller. "You won't let me see who you're calling?! Fine, then I smash your phone." Now you're scared and he has the upper hand. That's what a bully does. Do you want to date a bully? Cause that's who you're with now.
So why are you staying with him? It doesn't matter that he's fixing your phone. The fact that he did it in the first place gives you more than enough justification to dump this dirtbag. Add to that the fact that he blames you for what he did, and you've got the makings of a textbook abuser. You need to get out of this relationship before he breaks something else. Like your nose.
He said he'd stop caring about you or smash your iPhone? Neither of those should be options. This guy has serious jealousy and trust issues. Actually, smashing your phone because he thinks you're acting shady goes beyond jealousy issues. This guy's a straight-up nutjob. There is never any good reason for him to destroy your possessions. Destroying your phone is the move of a classic controller. "You won't let me see who you're calling?! Fine, then I smash your phone." Now you're scared and he has the upper hand. That's what a bully does. Do you want to date a bully? Cause that's who you're with now.
So why are you staying with him? It doesn't matter that he's fixing your phone. The fact that he did it in the first place gives you more than enough justification to dump this dirtbag. Add to that the fact that he blames you for what he did, and you've got the makings of a textbook abuser. You need to get out of this relationship before he breaks something else. Like your nose.
Drop it like it's hot, sweetie. It will only get worse from here. Take good care of yourself.
What Nick said. Yes, absolutely and unequivocally. Get out now--the sooner, the better, and don't look back.
The other big issue aside from the major one of breaking your phone is that he put the blame entirely on you. He didn't take any responsibility for what he did and didn't say something like, "You're right, this showed me that I have anger issues."
Be CAREFUL, and talk to someone about what he did so they can vouch for you should they need to. Document it. Write it down, in case you need the notes and the archives. It sounds like overreacting, but seriously. If more people overreacted to this kind of thing dating violence wouldn't be as big of an issue.
good luck and BE SAFE.
Did you know it's a crime (at least here in Colorado) to break someone else's things (as well as your own things) during an argument? It's viewed as an intimidation tactic - which is exactly what it is. Regardless of the fact that he's incredibly immature to go breaking your property because he doesn't get his way, this situation (his temper and attempts to control you) will only get worse the longer you stay with him. I'm sure you don't want to, but you really do need to get out.....NOW. "We teach people how to treat us."
That should be a law in every state. Thanks for the info.
in my country it's vandalism and harrassment, what he did is absolutely illegal FOR sure.
I can't figure out why you are still with him...
many people think the cycle of abuse refers to the abuse that is passed on down family lines from one generation to the next. In fact, and Nick has covered this beautifully before, the cycle of abuse goes like this: 1: guy does something shitty, 2.) fight ensues with either physical or emotional damage as the result, 3.) guy feels bad and does something nice to "fix things" and make her think he's not such a douchebag (i.e. getting your iPhone fixed) 4.) everybody feels better because he told you to feel better about it and life goes on untilll.....1.) guy does something even shittier because he's already gotten away with telling you its all your fault he acts like this. 1 in 4 women in America die every day because of this cycle. BREAK IT. 1.) guy does something shitty 2.) girl breaks up with him. no, it's not your fault honey. god bless.
CONTROL FREAK! For goodness sake, WHY do women (or men in some cases) put up with this kind of stuff? I've heard it all before, it's like women are SO desperate that they will do ANYTHING to keep a man....no matter how bad he may be, because they can see SOME good (whether it's there or not) in him.
LADIES! Here is the FACTS
He is NOT sorry, it WILL happen again, it's NOT your fault and he ISN'T a "good guy otherwise". He's a control freak who will do anything to seperate you from everyone who might support you until you're 100% dependent on him...and then the real abuse begins.
Oh, and one other thing...
There are MORE women than men in every age group. Therefore, it is not "him or nothing". You will find someone else, but even if you don't, if you don't love YOURSELF then you can't love anyone else.
Great advice.
An Iphone is a precious thing. I am blessed with being an owner of one cos my sweet family of birth gave me one saving me loadsa cash. I adore my Iphone3GS. Dump the guy.
Any man that doth not appreciate, protect thy Iphone. DUMP.
Seriously. If someone took my ability to play Angry Birds away from me, there would be heck to pay!
After I read the first line of this question, "Is it my fault my boyfriend broke my iPhone?" I thought, "Unless you accidentally bumped into him, causing him to drop it, ABSOLUTELY not!" That question, in and of itself, given that the answer isn't that you accidentally bumped into him, is self-explanatory. Of course it's not your fault! Good answer, Nick.
It's your fault if you're still with him though..... So dump him now.
easier said than done, there are the variables of fear and terror in the mix here, along with violence and vandalism. she is not to blame for anything.
Agreed. She might be afraid to leave him. If so, needs to get some help in order to get out of this relationship.
HAHA omg 100% douche. Dump that jerk.
Wow. No wonder you want your privacy, he'd probably flip if he saw you texting another dude. Sweetie you deserve better than a guy who'll make you feel as bad as he acts. And Nick's right, it'll only get worse from there and you should break up with him before it does. Easier said than done, but worth it in the end. Good luck.
Wow. No wonder you want your privacy, he'd probably flip if he saw you texting another dude. Sweetie you deserve better than a guy who'll make you feel as bad as he acts. And Nick's right, it'll only get worse from there and you should break up with him before it does. Easier said than done, but worth it in the end. Good luck.
oops didn't mean to post that twice haha
He wont stop at breaking your things, that's just where he started. Next time, it might be a finger, or your hand since you need those to even use a phone. A counselor told me it that on average it takes a victim seven tries to leave an abusive partner. By the time I left, I had a broken wrist to go with all the stuff he'd destroyed to punish me. Thats what breaking your precious iphone was--punishment. Do yourself a favor, dont stick around to see what else he can dish out. Get out now. No one who loves you will abuse you or your stuff.
Leave he does not own you nor has he any right to snoop (same goes for insecure women)
are you positive he broke your iphone and it wasn't you that threw it in a argumentle rage? I know of people that have done this very thing and deny they have a temper issue and to only blame the boyfriend for what you really may have done. Let's remember that this is only your side and already this guy is guilty before having any chance to say his story and we all blame beofre proven. It's what you can prove not what you say, but everyone is stupid who already takes your side now. Why does everyone believe this or any other story without knowing anything of the other side?
Leave... Thats just the beginning of the abuse....My bf broke my iPhone last month, and broke my nose a few days ago.. Let it go.. It's not worth it...