Hours on the phone? Is your husband a 14-year-old girl? I start to get antsy if I’m on the phone for more than ten minutes. What is he talking about for that long? Seriously, though, there’s nothing wrong with a guy having female friends. Plenty of guys have close female friends and never cheat on their wives or girlfriends. In all honesty, his female friends are probably complaining to him about other guys.
We get asked a lot whether or not it’s weird if a guy has a lot of female friends. People assume that a guy with a lot of female friends is either a) cheating or b) secretly gay. This is stereotypical thinking, and not at all reflective of how we live our lives today. It also assumes two things: One, that your husband or boyfriend is so desirable, literally any woman he comes into contact with will try to get into his pants. Unless he’s Mad Men‘s Don Draper, that’s probably not happening. Two, that a guy can’t possibly be interested in a woman for any reason other than sex. This sort of thinking will drive you crazy, and lead to jealous behavior that could drive a wedge between you and your man. Does he have any male friends? Some men are more comfortable around women. If he doesn’t have male friends, perhaps you could introduce him to a friend or coworker with similar interests.
Presumably you knew he had a lot of female friends before you got married. Why the problem all of a sudden? Are these all new friends? If he was never a guy with a lot of female friends, and suddenly started to talk to tons of women on the phone, that would be a little suspicious. That might mean he’s bored and looking for attention from women other than his wife. Do you know these friends? Does he suddenly not want you to meet them? That would be a red flag that something is up.
The whole talking for hours on the phone thing is the real issue here. If he’s a good husband, it shouldn’t matter that he’s talking to women. We shouldn’t
just assume he’s cheating. If he was, why would he talk to them in the
house right in front of you? It’s more that he’s neglecting his wife to
spend time on the phone with his friends. It’s no different than if he were talking to his bros on the phone about bro stuff like fantasy football or why Jean-Claude Van Damme wasn’t in The Expendables.
Tell him his phone chats make you uncomfortable. Ask him to spend less time on the phone, and more time with you. If he’s a good husband, he’ll realize that you feel neglected and cut down on the long conversations. Don’t insist that he stop being friends with the women he talks to. There’s no reason why he can’t have female friends, as long as he’s respectful to his wife. You don’t want him to resent you, or feel like you’re telling him who he can and can’t be friends with. Ask him what he’s talking about for so long in a non-accusatory way. Try to be a part of his life, and his friends will seem like less of a threat.