Hours on the phone? Is your husband a 14-year-old girl? I start to get antsy if I'm on the phone for more than ten minutes. What is he talking about for that long? Seriously, though, there's nothing wrong with a guy having female friends. Plenty of guys have close female friends and never cheat on their wives or girlfriends. In all honesty, his female friends are probably complaining to him about other guys.
We get asked a lot whether or not it's weird if a guy has a lot of female friends. People assume that a guy with a lot of female friends is either a) cheating or b) secretly gay. This is stereotypical thinking, and not at all reflective of how we live our lives today. It also assumes two things: One, that your husband or boyfriend is so desirable, literally any woman he comes into contact with will try to get into his pants. Unless he's Mad Men's Don Draper, that's probably not happening. Two, that a guy can't possibly be interested in a woman for any reason other than sex. This sort of thinking will drive you crazy, and lead to jealous behavior that could drive a wedge between you and your man. Does he have any male friends? Some men are more comfortable around women. If he doesn't have male friends, perhaps you could introduce him to a friend or coworker with similar interests.
Presumably you knew he had a lot of female friends before you got married. Why the problem all of a sudden? Are these all new friends? If he was never a guy with a lot of female friends, and suddenly started to talk to tons of women on the phone, that would be a little suspicious. That might mean he's bored and looking for attention from women other than his wife. Do you know these friends? Does he suddenly not want you to meet them? That would be a red flag that something is up.
The whole talking for hours on the phone thing is the real issue here. If he's a good husband, it shouldn't matter that he's talking to women. We shouldn't just assume he's cheating. If he was, why would he talk to them in the house right in front of you? It's more that he's neglecting his wife to spend time on the phone with his friends. It's no different than if he were talking to his bros on the phone about bro stuff like fantasy football or why Jean-Claude Van Damme wasn't in The Expendables.
Tell him his phone chats make you uncomfortable. Ask him to spend less time on the phone, and more time with you. If he's a good husband, he'll realize that you feel neglected and cut down on the long conversations. Don't insist that he stop being friends with the women he talks to. There's no reason why he can't have female friends, as long as he's respectful to his wife. You don't want him to resent you, or feel like you're telling him who he can and can't be friends with. Ask him what he's talking about for so long in a non-accusatory way. Try to be a part of his life, and his friends will seem like less of a threat.
We get asked a lot whether or not it's weird if a guy has a lot of female friends. People assume that a guy with a lot of female friends is either a) cheating or b) secretly gay. This is stereotypical thinking, and not at all reflective of how we live our lives today. It also assumes two things: One, that your husband or boyfriend is so desirable, literally any woman he comes into contact with will try to get into his pants. Unless he's Mad Men's Don Draper, that's probably not happening. Two, that a guy can't possibly be interested in a woman for any reason other than sex. This sort of thinking will drive you crazy, and lead to jealous behavior that could drive a wedge between you and your man. Does he have any male friends? Some men are more comfortable around women. If he doesn't have male friends, perhaps you could introduce him to a friend or coworker with similar interests.
Presumably you knew he had a lot of female friends before you got married. Why the problem all of a sudden? Are these all new friends? If he was never a guy with a lot of female friends, and suddenly started to talk to tons of women on the phone, that would be a little suspicious. That might mean he's bored and looking for attention from women other than his wife. Do you know these friends? Does he suddenly not want you to meet them? That would be a red flag that something is up.
The whole talking for hours on the phone thing is the real issue here. If he's a good husband, it shouldn't matter that he's talking to women. We shouldn't just assume he's cheating. If he was, why would he talk to them in the house right in front of you? It's more that he's neglecting his wife to spend time on the phone with his friends. It's no different than if he were talking to his bros on the phone about bro stuff like fantasy football or why Jean-Claude Van Damme wasn't in The Expendables.
Tell him his phone chats make you uncomfortable. Ask him to spend less time on the phone, and more time with you. If he's a good husband, he'll realize that you feel neglected and cut down on the long conversations. Don't insist that he stop being friends with the women he talks to. There's no reason why he can't have female friends, as long as he's respectful to his wife. You don't want him to resent you, or feel like you're telling him who he can and can't be friends with. Ask him what he's talking about for so long in a non-accusatory way. Try to be a part of his life, and his friends will seem like less of a threat.
|One, that your husband or boyfriend is so desirable, literally any woman he comes into contact with will try to get into his pants.
My boyfriend, though not Don Draper, does have a weird, quirky personality that he does have women propositioning him for sex (though the little twits know he's taken). The only real time it bothered me when after he recounted one harpy that asked to take him home (so to speak), and my boyfriend and I had been separated for a bit of time (distance sucks).
|This sort of thinking will drive you crazy, and lead to jealous behavior that could drive a wedge between you and your man.
talked through it, thankfully :)
Well said, sir.
Also: @Question-person: Do you not have guy friends you talk to? If so, just consider how your SO would feel etc. Try to explain how you talking to another man for hours to your SO while he just sits there. Good luck
He doesn't have ANY male friends? Any claims of cheating and gayness aside, that does sound kind of weird. Even if he is more comfortable with women, not having any friends of the same gender seems a bit strange. Who is he supposed to discuss man things with?
This is a very good answer, and I totally agree: there is nothing wrong with your husband having many, close female friends. I think it's odd if he has NO male friends, but it doesn't necessarily mean something's wrong. Maybe that's just the way his life has turned out.
However.
I can tell you from recent, painful experience: If you have a nagging, horrible feeling that something's wrong, something's probably wrong. Even if he's not cheating on you (he's probably not) and there's nothing else wrong (he's gay, not into you anymore, etc.), it's going to eat you up inside if you don't address it.
Ask to get to know these friends. Even just talking to them for a few minutes on the phone will make you feel better. Better yet, meet them in person. I'm not saying you have to become BFFs with anyone, but putting faces to names and ringtones is helpful.
Really good review Hawk. My brief experience with these irons mirrors your experience pretty closely. They are solid performers, if not the prettiest clubs. If I could change anything about them, it might be to "unmute" some of the feel for better feedback.