Okay gets into a morality/judgement thing. And since I'm only human, flesh and blood, a man (ahem...), I'll just say that of course it's okay for you to wait on your man while he's in prison.
I mean, it's okay to do all kinds of things that aren't smart. Which is a much better question than is it okay. So let's tackle that one. Mmkay, pumpkin?
Mmkay.
This largely depends on what kind of numbers your man is doing? Is he doing a 3-month skid bid for mail fraud or is he doing "almost life with a very very slim chance of parole" for shanking a cop?
Is he doing a Lil Wayne/TI/Lil Kim one-year (but a solid third can be spent in home-confinement) bid? The numbers are whats important here.
I'd say that if your man is doing double digit years, then no, it probably isn't smart to wait on him. Unless you think he's innocent and you're actively involved in the legal activity intended to prove his innocence, in which case you kind of have to stay with him. Other than that though, why waste years of your life waiting on somebody you can't even touch. Collect calls and letters can't keep you warm at night. Lord knows how many batteries you'd have to buy to keep you "satisfied". Especially given the price of batteries nowadays. I tried to buy a 10-pack of "D" batteries the other day. It was like $23.
Yeah, okay. Not gonna happen. Truthfully, anything over a year (and assuming its for a non-violent crime) is probably not smart to hang around for. You're sacrificing your human needs, desires, and emotions for somebody who got themselves locked up. Now your chastity belt is all locked up.
It just doesn't seem fair. Do you and when they get out see what happens if you still have that flame burning. Just keep them away from fire and arson since you know the recidivism rate is insane these days.
It was written.
There's a show on ID (Investigation Discovery) called Prison Wives. It's so sad. Most of the men/women being waited on by their spouses in prison are serving life sentences. It's terrible, I can't even make it through an entire episode.
If it is a one time thing...then perhaps...but if this is strike 2 or he is in for a long strech move on. Im a female correctional officer working in a male facility, and would suggest you use the time he is incarcerated very wisely and MOVE ON. I have seen so many young women sit and pine for these guys, have them be paroled and then returned to prison time after time...
If you do wait for him, insist that he see a doctor and prove a clean bill of health, especially if you see any jailhouse tattoos on him (usually god awful amateur looking blue or black tattoos). Wait...do it regardless of the tattoos...in jail anything goes and some guys are "Gay for the day, gay for the stay or gay all the way!" Whether you think your guy is the biggest homophobe or not, do not put any behavior past him...Prison is not a clean happy place...Insist he get tested!!!
Find a nice NON con guy! :)
Sounds like a Johnny Cash song in the making. Too bad he's dead.
Heck, I can sing too! LOL You write it, Ill sing it!
It is about how you feel and where you are in life right now. I question if this is the advice one would give to a woman whose husband had a stroke or was in a car accident and has become an involent. Would you then tell her to leave because he can't hold her at night? She should leave because he cannot satisfy her needs and because she would have to take care of him? It is the same thing when in a relationship with someone in prison. Especially if they are innocent and especially if you truly love them. I would caution one to not put themselves into undue stress and hardship because it would not be fair to you but if you are young and are still getting yourself together it may be wise to wait a little bit. Work on yourself and who you want to be. It may or may not work in the end but you will be at a better point in your life. You would have also matured some and would be a better asset to whomever you do end up with.