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Is it ok that my bf is totally grossed out by my period? During sex, I didn't realize that I had started my period, and he saw a little blood. He refused to continue and was uncomfortable about it for the rest of the day. I feel like that was immature, especially at his age (28). And plus, it made me feel like a leper!

He shouldn't have made you feel like a leper, absolutely.

That said, some people are just uncomfortable around blood or anything that looks like it. Nausea, fainting, other things that can ruin a good time. It's an involuntarily reaction: It's nobody's fault, but you can't help feeling freaked out. Also consider that it's a pretty sensitive area: If a guy seeing blood coming out of his crotch, that's "Get to the doctor pronto" territory, so there will be, unfortunately, associations.

He does need to be a grown-up about it: These things will happen and it's a natural process. But don't expect him to get there all at once.

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5 Comments

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Of course it's ok for him to be grossed out, a person can't help how they feel, nor should they feel forced to. He may never "get over it" the way you'd like him to and that's fine. But he also should be mature about the way he handles those feelings. It's perfectly fine or him to decline sex, but he should do it with tact.

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It is interesting how men vary in this area. I have been with guys who are fine with it - but no "Aussie kiss", to my last boyfriend did not want o for religious reasons. We would do so occasionally but his guilt level (against the teaching of the Koran, but then so is sex before marriage) was more than i could take!

But there is more than one way to skin a cat. ;-)

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Good lord a little diplomacy is required! I'll be the first to admit I don't find the period exactly a pleasant sight. And after immense pressure from an ex, I caved in to period sex and even SHE was totally grossed out. But that's not an excuse to be mean to the woman, it's part of a natural process for pre-menopausal women, getting upset at them would be like getting upset at someone because they poop.

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There's uncomfortable with periods and then there's so immature that you question his fitness to date, and it sounds like your guy is the latter. Granted, periods are messy and kind of gross and a lot of guys don't want to go there, but he definitely shouldn't have treated you like a leper! Yes, some religions require that menstruating women practically be treated as lepers, but said religions also prohibit sex before marriage, so his hypocrisy on that count does him no favors. Being a bit grossed out about seeing blood during sex is understandable, but he should've just politely stopped the action and left it there. There was no need to be mean to you about it all day; was the sight really that terrifying? Is he going to be equally weirded out if you leave used sanitary products in his bathroom garbage and there happens to be a little blood showing through the wrapping? If I were you, I would have a chat with him about the incident and his attitude towards periods in general, and if they squick him out to the point that he basically can't deal with their existence, dump him.

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Thanks for the input -- I'm the one who asked the question. I get that some people are squeamish about periods. I don't exactly find them fabulous either. He didn't exactly flip out or anything, but the way he reacted made me feel embarrassed and ashamed about something I couldn't even control. When he saw a bit of blood that morning (and just a tiny bit!) he hurried to the bathroom to clean himself and said that he didn't want to continue because it had ruined the mood. Less than a few minutes later he had rushed out of the apartment to go running, leaving me still naked in bed. Then, in the afternoon I wanted to give him a blowjob. I love bj's and I know he does too, but he declined and said that what had happened was still on his mind. Really?? He never passes up a blowjob!

The whole thing just made me feel like I had done something wrong. I empathize with the fact that different guys have different reactions to blood and "chick stuff" like periods. It just hurt to have repulsed him like that. But either way, I don't want to overreact if he was just reacting the way that any typical guy would have.

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