Tricky business. Do you cast the dude off or let him dangle? Do you keep him close and see how he cooks over time or do you trust your gut and toss him? Here's what I do know: you are entitled to date someone you aren't madly in love with. You are also entitled to date someone who happens to be pretty madly in love with you. But sooner or later those drives, those desires for a future have to snyc up. Otherwise the inequality will breed resentment, terrible insecurity and the kind of playing field that makes a ball roll down a hill and into a toxic sewer drain.
This can all be navigated if you keep the channels of communication open and you keep expectations clear. It's when dudes start buying $2000 jackets for their girls, or when girls max out their credit card on a Rolex or surprise their man with an all expense trip to Paris that shiz get's difficult. So long as both parties have a gauge as to how things are going NOW, it is OK to not know for certain what THEN will yield.
Reminds me of the quote: If you love someone set them free. But in this case, If you don't love someone, set them free too. Or maybe it's best summed up as Du-mp unto others as you would have others du-mp unto you.
Funny Guy
Is it okay to date a guy who you like, but who likes you more? I don't want to lead him on if I won't fall for him more, but I also don't want to ruin anything that might happen in time. Help!
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I've never regretted avoiding situations like that, but then again I like playing it safe.
Would he react well to you asking if you could just be friends? Then if you find yourself in a situation where it's more of a level playing field and the circumstances are right you could try again, without the worry and maybe feelings of obligation of liking him less. I don't mean leave him dangling, more that this doesn't seem the best of times to try and start a romantic relationship with him.
Either way it's probably best to be completely frank with him, hopefully he'll appreciate your honesty and know what he's getting himself in to and judge for himself whether he wants to date a person who's not quite sure about him.
I've always been the one who's more invested, more deeply in love. I've also read somewhere that the one who loves more is the lucky one. I'm inclined to disagree.
However, the fact that you're concerned about hurting him is good. He may be infatuated now. That could change. Your feelings could change. Move at a pace that is comfortable for you. Don't let him rush you. Don't let him try to buy you off. Don't do things out of guilt or obligation. It sounds like you're both good people. If you feel that starting to change on either side, stop seeing each other.