While I'm sure there are camps out there that would say, "sure, go ahead, it's innocent" I'm going to say, no. It is not okay to hang with your boyfriend's friend alone. Hell, does your boyfriend know that you two are planning an excursion?
It's good that you've become good enough friends with your boyfriend's friend that feel comfortable. That's wonderful and optimal. However, that's exactly how lines get crossed.
But really, how does this even come up? Were the three of you supposed to go somewhere and your boyfriend bailed and said, "yeah, but you two should totally go!" Maybe I'm old fashioned but I'm confused by how this even comes to be in the first place.
So what you shouldn't do is put yourself in a position to end up look like a trollop. You assume nothing is going to happen. Famous last words. Will there be alcohol present? How good a friend is your boyfriend's friend? Has he ever flirted with you? Have you ever flirted with him?
While I know it all seems harmless, stranger things have happened. I don't want you to get yourself caught up in suspicion that ruins a relationship when nothing actually happened.
Hanging with the opposite sex friends is one of those instances that's just off limits.
Debate?
i dont think its right for a girlfiriend and boyfriends best friend to hang out alone because feelings get involved and when you have an emotional moment, he may be the one to give you that hug and it may lead to something dangerous..
I disagree. My bff, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend were all really close with each other. Even once my bff broke up with her boyfriend, I would still go up to the guy's apartment by myself for hours on Saturday nights while my boyfriend was at work. My boyfriend had no problem with this and even encouraged me to do it so that I wouldn't be completely alone in /his/ apartment all that time. Even though my bff's ex and I often flirted in public, when we were alone everything was 100% platonic. Of course, when /I/ broke up with /my/ boyfriend, things heated up between me and the other guy...
This is super sketchy. I vote no.
Honestly, if you have to ask, you know deep down the answer is "not ok".
Totally agree with your answer! One of my girl friends was really good friends with my bff's boyfriend for a long period of time, until she made several moves on him. My bff was really upset by the whole thing even though he didn't cheat, and the whole thing was just super messy.
Perhaps my situation is different. I was friend's with my boyfriend's best friend before we started dating. It's a strange acse of friends dating each other. In this situation I do not feel, in any way inappropriate hanging out with his/my best friend alone.
However, if I had not known him prior to our dating, it would strike me as a little odd that we would hang out extensively on our own (outside of the ocassional, "hey we're going to grab something from the store" type of excursion).
O man boys and girls could not possibly have alone time without them having sex or hooking up or becoming emotionally attached to each other, right? Mystery man you're right, this IS old fashioned. I see no problem with friends hanging out with friends. The only time Ive hung out with a boyfriend's best friend was when we went shopping together for his birthday present, but I would be offended if a boyfriend thought this was out of line, since you know i've got lady parts and his friends a dude so clearly something must have been up (and by something probably his friend's c*ck). In general I hate it when people just assume that any time guys are girls hang out that it must be sexual undertones. I have lots of guy friends and I'm always accused of hooking up with them all the time by other girls I know and it makes me really annoyed that some people are so small minded that they think the only thing I could possibly have to do with the other gender is sexual in nature, and vice versa with them for me. Sorry for the rant. But I disagree with all of you above... as long as a girl doesnt have a crush on the boyfriends best friend/intentions of hooking up, then its fine to spend time together.
I vote no, but for reasons having nothing to do with romantic infidelity. Imagine you introduced a couple of your friends to each other, and next thing you know, they're posting on each other's facebook walls about how much fun they had at brunch the other day- a brunch you knew nothing about, because they didn't invite you. In my case, I had an experience where a friend of mine started hanging out with my ex (still on good terms) without telling me. I wasn't concerned that anything was going on, only hurt that they hadn't included me.
Feeling left out is hard. It's difficult to imagine a situation where two people who know each other through a mutual friend would plan an excursion together and not invite said friend. It seems like you'd have to make an effort to exclude them- either that, or they're so forgettable that it honestly didn't even occur to you to mention it to them. Either way, if you hang out with with your bf's bff, ask yourself what the problem would be if the bf came along. Because if it is a problem, then it's time to question your motivations, and maybe the relationship itself.
Obviously this is situation based and voting either way shows bias.
My girlfriend has a guy friend, i feel like its bad relationship ethics when they hang out exclusively together, why is it not possible to keep friends of the opposite gender that are straight in a group setting when hanging with them. i have female friends and i wouldnt even consider going out to dinner or to the beach alone with one of them because i think it would be inconsiderate to my girlfriend.... fact is that a guy going out of his way to hang with a girl on a one on one level has an underlying motive to it to me, im sure there are exceptions but cmon now.