I'm a terrible dancer. I'm not talking about your foxtrots or macarenas, mind you (as I am a certified macarena champion); I'm talking about the TANGO OF LOVE. That gentle push and pull, those coy steps forward and back, the ceaselessly listing deck upon which we passengers of the U.S.S. Romance must promenade. I'm just no good at it. I am however, as this paragraph demonstrates, an excellent writer.
But I digress. <------(that's a sentence fragment. Excellent writers use them to punctuate longer syntactical constructs) <--------(that's an arrow made out of a "less than" symbol and some hyphens. Hemingway used them all the time)
My point is, I never really understood the need for all these so-called "dating rules" and "codes of conduct." There is no "right." Obviously I recognize patterns in the dating world, and I try to give advice that capitalizes on those observations, but something as arbitrary as "the man has to kiss the woman first" seems pretty dumb to me. Man or woman, at the end of the day, we're all just animals tying to hump each other to feel emotionally validated. So what's with all the pretense?
Be as honest and open as you can, and talk about everything. Ask HIM if he thought it was a bad idea. Nothing takes the nervous tension out of a situation like talking about it and bringing it into the real world. Laugh about it. Realize how silly the whole thing is. Talk until it makes sense to you, then move on.
Trust me, nothing is ruined. Yeah, maybe you allowed a little fear of loss to commandeer your better judgment, and maybe you moved too fast for the sake of holding onto your guy. Learn from that, and it becomes a valuable experience instead of a mistake.
You don't have to get physical right away to hold onto a guy, especially if you're not feeling the vibe. And do you really want to keep dating a guy who's only with you because of the speed with which you put out? If you want to slow things down in the bedroom, you owe it to yourself and him to let him know that. Most guys would be horrified to find out that they were unknowingly pushing their girlfriend sexually. Give this guy the benefit of the doubt; he may not be as much of a horn dog as you imagine.
I could apply the words cruel, spiteful, petty, even unforgivable to things my wife and I have done or said to each other out of weakness or fear. I could also apply the words lacrimose, mendacious and pyrrhic, because of the excellent writer that I am.
But I love my woman more today than I did yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that (although the day before that she was like a C+). A relationship is an evolving animal; it's only ruined when you decide to ditch it. Sometimes that's the right choice, but it doesn't sound like you've even come CLOSE to that point yet.
So don't worry; you've still got years of bitter fights and self-recrimination ahead of you!
Indeed. When I step out of line with my love making (biting and scratching are aparently not his turn on) I have been lifted up like a child and uncerimouniously dumped outside his front door. And not always completly clothed.
Lesson here, we make mistakes. But guys like kissing. So who cares who iniciated it.
I'm also an excellent writer but a very poor speller. Think you guys could get the tech web guys to install spell check here?
Marriage is hard. How do you know it's worth it?
Personally, I love making the first move, but I wasn't aware there were any rules prohibiting women from beating me to the punch. Guys love it when a woman is demonstratably attracted to them, and the easiest way to show that is by initiating a little affection, you know?
Though I am ashamed to admit that I had to look up the word "pyrrhic" (which is silly, because, really, who ever uses that word? But my pride is closely linked to my vocabulary, for some reason), when I saw the definition I laughed out loud (or, as you internet folk say, "loled"). I have to ask, though; the things you and your wife have said to each other, were they
1. "consisting of two short or unaccented syllables" or
2. "an ancient Greek warlike dance in which the motions of actual warfare were imitated?"
(PS, I abuse parentheses because I, too, am an excellent writer)
HAHAHAHA, amazing. I would've never caught that, even though I should have. Excellent writers, like Swaim, always use exotic words loosely related to the context. Although maybe he meant words said at too great a cost (Pyrrich victory)?
I prefer to imagine them performing a Greek warlike dance.
When it comes to an initial kiss, yes I think its totally cool if a woman makes the move. But you need to make sure the other person is feeling it as well. For example, just last night I was on a first date with a guy, we were really hitting it off and he asked, "What would you think about me kissing you right now?" LOVE THAT! How refreshing. So exactly what you said, talk about it. It actually was quite sexy, because while we were "talking" about the kiss that was about to happen it sure increased the anticipation. very hot!
But I think its quite different when it comes to an initial first move, like meeting someone for the first time. I have heard that 2/3 of the men out there prefer to approach a woman and make the first move. I think its apart of their primal instincts to hunt... So why not give them a way to let them know you're available and approachable so then they think they did all the the work?... : )
My friend and I started a company that creates products that do just that. And they work! A women's line for now, but the men's line will be available in the new year! www.singletease.com
I love it when the feeling is mutual, and it doesn't matter who initiates, because both parties so obviously want it.
I hate it when it is done as a surprise. An unexpected show of a deepening attraction. Usually, these circumstances turn out okay in the end though.
What an entertaining read-------->!
I kissed a guy first once, and he said I "Seduced" him, um ya ok, geek!
I have to say that I enjoy a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. I recently had a woman tell me that she wanted to kiss me and wondered what I would think about it if she did. When I told her to feel free, she did - a day later when I was least expecting her to. That was very hot !!
lacrimose------------>not a word. HOWEVER, lachrymose-----------> is a word.
What a lovely day for a 2591721! SCK was here