If you issue an ultimatum, you will get a reply. You just might not like what you hear.
I don't think you're being unreasonable: if he's sitting on his butt without a job or prospects and doesn't have the ability to go anywhere, anybody would find that frustrating. And there is no reason whatsoever to let him in the door if he's not paying his half of the bills.
That said, he might just not get the hint, or think you won't follow through. And that's the thing: if you issue him an ultimatum, and he doesn't do what you want, then you have to be prepared to dump him. That simple. Are you? If so, do it. If not, try explaining the situation to him like an adult.
Either way, just a word of advice: even if he is going to school, if he can't at least pay some of the bills, don't let him move in with you. You might wind up with an overgrown child instead of a boyfriend.
so true, great advice, all across the board. my best girlfriend is great at giving ultimatums, only person that i know that has ever had them go her way. she does it in a pressure free way, i think thats why. that and the fact her man worships the ground she walks on and would really do anything for her, like move from germany to canada. you have to remember that when the idea of an ultimatum comes into the picture, it's because you want a change in your life. if he isn't amenable to those terms, dan is right, you HAVE to choose what you need to do for YOUR life to move forward.
I agree with Chrissie and Dan, but you have to better for the consequences of the ultimatum. He might not even try to call your bluff and just end the relationship right then and there. So if you give the ultimatum be prepared for your relationship to end, cause that's the other side of the coin. Good luck and hopefully he will shape up!
I kinda hope he does end it; it would remove any guilt on her part, and burden of babying a grown man. Of course the breakup initially will hurt but in the long run it sounds like she will be better off without him.
Why bother giving him any ultimatum! If he hasn't even made effort to get his life together yet, what makes you think get can wake up and get it all done the next day? Sounds like a sloth and a bum to me. Instead of coercing him to change, you need to do some soul-searching to determine if you really want to keep exchanging your DNA with him.
I think ultimatums have their place. But they are to be given on make or break issues. If you can live with him continuing the way that he is, DONT issue an ultimatum.
If his current path will lead to you breaking up, then he MUST either change or the relationship will end anyway. If this is the case, time to stop p*ssyfooting around and give the ultimatum.
Ahahaha. How old is the boyfriend and why doesn't he seem to have any goals in life? Ahahahah.
Yeah. Go ahead with the ultimatum. Just get yourself prepared to pack his stuffs and move on.