Yes, that is all very weird. And--more importantly-- hurtful to you. In fact, I would say what you have is not a real relationship. At least in his eyes anyway. He is casually dating you while still keeping his ex in the picture.
In fact, he might still be sleeping with her. The fact that he refuses to let you go on his Facebook is a bad sign. You shouldn't have to go through his phone if you trust him, but he's not exhibiting particularly trustworthy behavior. There's definitely still something going on here with the ex. At the very least, he has feelings for her which he's deemed more important than what he has with you. The fact that he won't tell her that he's seeing someone is a bad sign.
After five months, the relationship has moved past the casual stage. You should have a sense of whether or not this guy is right for you. Someone who is still tangled up with their ex to the point of banning you from Facebook and hiding your relationship is not right for you. Period. This guy is exhibiting all the signs of someone who still has unresolved feelings for his ex, could possibly be cheating, or at least has some leftover relationship baggage. It's time to confront him on this, and consider whether or not the relationship is worth salvaging. If so, he's going to need to make some big changes. Like, for instance, officially breaking up with his ex. Cause right now, he's technically involved with two women at once
In fact, he might still be sleeping with her. The fact that he refuses to let you go on his Facebook is a bad sign. You shouldn't have to go through his phone if you trust him, but he's not exhibiting particularly trustworthy behavior. There's definitely still something going on here with the ex. At the very least, he has feelings for her which he's deemed more important than what he has with you. The fact that he won't tell her that he's seeing someone is a bad sign.
After five months, the relationship has moved past the casual stage. You should have a sense of whether or not this guy is right for you. Someone who is still tangled up with their ex to the point of banning you from Facebook and hiding your relationship is not right for you. Period. This guy is exhibiting all the signs of someone who still has unresolved feelings for his ex, could possibly be cheating, or at least has some leftover relationship baggage. It's time to confront him on this, and consider whether or not the relationship is worth salvaging. If so, he's going to need to make some big changes. Like, for instance, officially breaking up with his ex. Cause right now, he's technically involved with two women at once
I don't think still having pictures of his ex on fb is /too/ weird--for me, unless the breakup was very hurtful (and maybe not even then) I'd just be like, "Meh, whatever" and keep them, because a) I'm too lazy to take them off b) it might hurt now, but those were good memories, and c) what's the freakin point. (Note: I can also see how this can be thratening to the next bf/gf. If it becomes an issue, it's not worth fighting over, just take the pictures off.)
Talking sporadically wasn't a red flag for me either cuz people /can/ still maintain a relationship, though most wouldn't want to, I guess.
However, the rest of it is REDFLAGREDFLAGREDFLAG. I get not wanting to hurt someone's feelings, but some things need to be said.
What??????????
I would look at his phone. You know what you're looking for and lets face it you will probably find it. And when you do it gives you a bit of leverage to just call him out on all of this carry on bullsh!t. I know invading someones phone like that is a bit morally wrong, but at the end of the day a phone is a phone and he doesn't sound like he's too high on morals either. I would be really wary if I was dating someone and he had pictures of his ex on his facebook. In my opinion, that is totally disrespectful and tactless.
I think it's okay for him not to just outright bring it up in conversation that he has a new girlfriend, but if he is going out of his way to hide your relationship from her then he doesn't deserve your time. Why doesn't he befriend you on facebook?Creeper! Maybe you ought to kill about five birds with one stone, change your facebook profie to one of you and him together (snogging?) and then add the ex - I doubt he'd be that impressed...
I can see how he might think you are being too sensitive and his behaviour is excusable by taking each issue seperately (ie if he was just talking to his ex from time to time and thats it) but ALL together.. I mean come on dude you either take a sh*t or get off the pot. Who's he kiddin?
in this case i would say look at the phone as well or confront him on your concerns. yes this has indeed moved past casual, but on the flip side this has only been five months, and much unlike an earlier similar question where the relationship was five years old. five months is an easy one to get out of for you if you have to, not saying thats what you need to do, but will be much easier for you to get out of than a five year thing. nip this in the bud for your own peace of mind once and for all, you may even find nothing on his phone at all. or you could not do anything and spend another five months wondering when you could have spent THAT extra five months meeting a guy you could trust.
I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 months and I still have photos of my ex and I on FB. I don't think I should have to delete them all, they are memories. Our breakup wasn't bad, so they aren't bad memories. I took down the photos of us that looked "intimate", like hugging or kissing. I talk to my ex every few weeks on FB chat. My boyfriend doesn't mind. He hasn't said anything about the photos either. Until he tells me he's bothered by them, I'll leave them up. The difference is, I HAVE told my ex that I'm dating someone new. That's a red flag that your bf hasn't done that.
If you're in a serious relationship your guy or gal shouldn't be holding on to pictures of their exs, talking to them or secretive about his phone or facebook. That's no bueno.
For me personally if a guy I was dating did that past the point were we had agreed to be exclusive I would bring it up once and if he didn't change it in a week or less probably just stop talking to him. I have high standards but that's because I'm worth it on every level.
Why waste time arguing, being rude, begging or waiting for him/her to treat you how you deserve? In most instances holding your ground just makes the person change and want you more & if not then good riddance! Practice this principal early on and you will be happy in all your relationships and most always get your man/woman. Just remember you can be firm but still be kind!
I wouldn't do that to him and I expect the same level of respect and if I don't get it I will move on so fast his head will spin, not in spite but in wisdom. I have always been like this and have had GREAT relationships, in fact I'm engaged to the love of my life right now after 10 months of dating and I know he would never do this.
i've read in an article that you can tell someone's character thru their social networking files..relationship status,update status (does he talk about you?),pictures etc...i know a guy who's engaed but didnt put in his status and no sign about his gf on his update statuses ,and only 2 pics of his gf..maybe that doesnt count but in my opinion that article could be right..if you're into someone you can see it on their profile..so this guy most likely not over his ex..move on you deserve better..speaking from experience..
Hi - im going thru the same with my BF. Been together for 3 years, he had an ex whom I found out recently that he still keeps her pictures (nude ones) on his PC, physical pictures in his closet and to make it worse he decided to move a street across from her house. What confuses me is that I was introduced to his family, and we are supposed to get engaged this year.My personal anlaysis is that hes not over her, he still checks her profile regularly and chances are hes also checking her pictures on PC to remember what feeling she gave him.
What am I supposed to do, if I tell him I found the pictures accidently which indeed happaned when he asked me to look for something in his closet, knowing him he'd be so mad, shout, scream...how do I handle this? how can a guy be or prtened to be serios about someone or even thinks about getting into a relationship when hes not over his ex? chances are he/or later we will bump into her almost daily since we share the neighborhood, I am not comfortable talking to him and not comfortable moving on in this relationship knowing that he pingponged between me and his ex 7 times before, he eventually left her and claimed he only wants to be friends with her and kept on seeing her for 5 months until they had a big fight and he stopped seeing her?
Try reading I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper - a book for anyone who needs help and advice dealing with their partner’s past relationship(s) - brilliant read! Available on Amazon or most bookstores - Kindle or paperback!
I am an ex-gf and I can't help but wonder sometimes why my ex-bf still keeps our pictures on his FB and his status is still engaged. We don't communicate anymore. So I don't think he still have feelings for me. One girl asked him before why his profile says he is engaged and his answer was that he was just laxy to update his profile but a day before that, he edited his other info. What is he trying to do???