According to both Einstein and Doctor Who, yes. So who am I to argue?
Do get a lot of questions about needing some space or some self time, and being clingy, so may as well put my thoughts in here. Guys tend to use the word space, more than self time or me time, primarily because we think in more concrete terms. No jokes on the density of the male skull, please! But it means exactly the same thing.
Different guys need different amounts of personal time and space. Some are fine with 20 minutes a day while taking care of business, and please, please stop knocking on the door and ask if they have died in there.
Others need a couple of hours to themselves in the garage to be happy, just doing whatever they like to do without any distractions (usually surfing for porn.)
As long as your needs for self time more or less match and you manage to get the timings right, it actually helps a live-in relationship flourish. A good match leads to household peace, more fun in general, and much, much better sex.
A bad mismatch leads to accusations of one partner being too cold, the other too clingy, with the break up express coming down the road towards you at a gallop.
Now when it is used as a reason for a break up, that is slightly different. It is usually code for "I am bored, you are getting on my case and she looks far more fun to be with."
Thats funny.. It was used for our break up... But he's still single alone, and bored himself living back with mommy.. I think he made the right choice for us both... Douche bag ! Said he needed time and space to see what was " right for him.. Yeah gooood choice dude...
Don't gloat. And yes, I really KNOW it is tempting!
I totally agree that "space" is beneficial in any relationship but ESPECIALLY when it comes to live-in situations. I think what you said is true of both men and some women even. In nearly all of my relationships I have been the one needing "space". Great answer MM!! Thank you!!
I need my space too. Guys seem to not get that with me. They take it as if I don't care & start pressing on me.
same here. They feel insecure because I need to be alone from time to time (ok, pretty often). Doesn't mean we don't care, just means we need to focus on ourselves to come back to them and being with them in the best way/mood.
ROCKY HORROR TAG!!!
This just made my millenium.
Must. Have. Alone. Time.
That is all.
My new boyfriend needs to much "me time". And he actually does call it that. What I hate is having to schedule my "me time" around his "me time". I try to make plans with a friend on a night that he may want to take a break from me, but then he wants to see me. Then the next time, he wants his "me time" when I'm not doing anything. I also don't get that when he says he needs the night to himself, he goes and spends it with his friends (girls and guys). I understand friend time, but I get worried when he would rather hang out with another girl over me.
Been there done that. Don't get worried; get out of there. Everyone needs "me time" but you're his gf and hopefully a best friend. Unless it's guys' night, he should want you there with his friends 90% of the time. I dated a guy for 6 months and while he never hid our relationship, he did hide me from his friends. I only ever hung out with him alone so he could "balance" gf time and friend time. Luckily, when I dumped him, it was no big deal moving on since I barely saw him :)
At the very least never cancel girls' night because his me-time plans fell through. No gloating texts either; just give him that blissful peace he's looking for by ignoring him all evening.
Orrr you could do the (less fun) grown up thing and talk about it, but he seems pretty immature, so good luck with that.
Well, I actually do hang out with him and his friends a lot. Every weekend pretty much. I haven't met every one of his friends, but most of them, and they all seem to like me. Maybe I'm just worrying too much, and this is just the way he is. I don't want to be with him 24/7, that's not healthy. I do agree though, that unless it's a guys night, I should be there. He is actually pretty mature, and has told me to tell him if he's ever doing anything I don't like.. so I guess I will have a talk with him.
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