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Mystery Man

 
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Is there any way to get a guy after making him too jealous? I crossed the line when I kissed someone else, even though we're only dating, not in a relationship. At any rate he now treats me as an acquaintance. Any way out of this?

For some guys, dating is being in a relationship. You know that, mate. You screwed up.

Getting out of this, well, it depends how stubborn and stiff necked he is. How badly you hurt his pride. I am figuring pretty badly, but not fatally, seeing as he still talks to you, if only as an aquaintance.

First thing you do is apologise, as honestly and contritely as you can. That may not work to get him back, but seriously, you owe it to this guy. He was feeling his way forward, doing the dating thing and being a gent, then you haul off and start kissing another guy? Not cool at all.

Before you can even think of getting back to stage two, you have to get stage one sorted out again. Not easy. After all why should he trust you this time round?

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12 Comments

Tariana

The problem with making someone jealous is it almost ALWAYS backfires. And if there's one thing I learned about relationships, dating and all that stuff, STAY AWAY from people who make you jealous intentionally (even sometimes unintentionally) because it shows a lack of respect for you and shows how insecure the other person is. It's never healthy to be with someone who makes you jealous (with or without valid reasons).

Tough enough to keep a relationship. Why make things worse by creating drama?

user-pic

dating IS being in a relationship??? I'm so confused o_0

Tariana

Dating is an experience two (or more) people share. You put in time, effort, money, and yep, emotions into it. There's an investment. Depending on how they both viewed how their "dating status" was, the asker would have probably gotten someone who viewed their relationship differently than she did. He might have thought they were heading to exclusive land, but she might have made him feel they weren't and won't ever be because of the 'kiss another guy to make him jealous' play.

Selena

I read it as she kissed another guy because she isn't in a relationship and assumed she was free to do so, I didn't read it as she kissed someone else on purpose to make the guy jealous.

Mystery Man

He.

Andy

He wat?

Selena

Ah. The person who wrote the question is a man. In any case, my opinion is still if there's no relationship then HE doesn't have anything to feel bad about. You can't cheat on someone who you're not committed to.

Tariana

The person who wrote the question is a girl and the first line was: "Is there any way to get a guy AFTER MAKING HIM TOO JEALOUS?" The intention of making the guy jealous was there. Exclusive or not, if I was the guy, I'd be treating her the same way after the incident (if not completely dropping her off) and that's because personally, dating for me IS being in a relationship, and I respect the person I'm dating.

Selena

If he's not your boyfriend it's none of his business what you do in your spare time. Why would you even care about some control freak who doesn't want you kissing other guys but isn't man enough to step up and be in a relationship with you?

user-pic

Wow, why would you WANT to make a person you (supposedly) care for intentionally feel bad in any way? It is unkind and shows a huge lack of caring and respect. I would not got back if I were him. That is a red flag at a very early stage.

You might want to examine why you want to make someone jealous. There may be some insecurity issues lurking.

SWSNBN

If you really like this guy, go for it - no regrets later. Know that it might be too late but you won't know until you try. Tell him you need him to know that you are sorry and ask him if there might still be a chance between you two. Be sincere and prepared to be rejected. He should be flattered to know you like him and begin to get over it...

user-pic

Question: did you kiss this guy in FRONT of him?
Or did you just rub his nose in it after the fact?
The kissing isn't the issue. If you're not exclusive, then you're free to kiss whomever you like (and whoever wants to kiss you back). But you shouldn't shove his face in it. That's not cool.
If that's not the case, and you just felt like kissing Mr. Kissy while Mr. Datey was on his night off, then cool. But, like others have said before me, if you were intentionally trying to hurt him, then the intentions behind your actions were wrong.

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