Oh, absolutely. He could fall madly in love with you, and you could be still getting over someone. You could meet him, fall in love, and six months later he gets a job overseas or has to ship out on military assignment. You could be co-workers with serious chemistry, but he doesn't want any uncomfortable meetings with HR. Maybe you're both jungle explorers who fall in love on an adventure through the Congo, but he falls into some quicksand. You could meet the man of your dreams, and then meet his beautiful wife. It's like rain on your wedding day-- Sorry. This is turning into an Alanis Morissette song.
But these are just excuses. And "bad timing" is just an excuse we use when we're ready to call it quits.
"I'm swamped with work right now. It's just bad timing."
"I really like you, but I'm still getting over that girl I dated two years ago. Sorry!"
"I'm moving away to go to college. Even though technology has made it extremely easy to communicate from a distance, it just isn't the right time for us."
There is always a reason not to be in a relationship. If your feelings are strong enough, you can overcome almost anything. Well, maybe not quicksand. That stuff is tough to get out of.
But these are just excuses. And "bad timing" is just an excuse we use when we're ready to call it quits.
"I'm swamped with work right now. It's just bad timing."
"I really like you, but I'm still getting over that girl I dated two years ago. Sorry!"
"I'm moving away to go to college. Even though technology has made it extremely easy to communicate from a distance, it just isn't the right time for us."
There is always a reason not to be in a relationship. If your feelings are strong enough, you can overcome almost anything. Well, maybe not quicksand. That stuff is tough to get out of.
it's free ride that you've already paid
it's good advice that you just didn't take
who would've thought? it figures ..
Music people just don't music they way they used to do nowadays. Sigh.
Ditto on the music thing.
Even though I came of age in the 90's (so I'm a little biased), I'd venture to say that that was the best decade for music. Some of the indie stuff now is good, but it's definitely an acquired taste.
The 80's had a lot of good stuff, too.
isn't it ironic? lol
Of course bad timing can happen.
Sometimes, it's a matter of fear getting it's ugly hands around you and the terror of being hurt
.
Sometimes, it's just a matter of incredible patience. (Guns N Roses comes to mind on that one.)
There are countless reasons but if it's ultimately meant to be ... it will.
Ah....bad timing! It can exist, but most of the time I agree that it's an excuse. If two people are committed to the idea of a relationship, nearly anything can be overcome. One of my best girlfriends and her husband met in the Navy, and they were on opposite sides of the world for the first year of their relationship! But they were both committed to making it work, and now they are married with a son (beautiful boy, but a pain in the A** just like his mom!)
The key is the commitment. As a personal example, I had been crushing on this guy while I was interning for several months, but since it was a short period of time and a giant ? as to where I would be in the future, I said nothing. We met again a year later, and he started flirting hard core with me. Of course I flirted back and then...for the first time in my life...finally got up the courage to say that I like him. His first response was "Why?"...followed immediately by the statement that it would be "hard for us to be anything but friends right now", since we live 4 hours apart, and that it was "bad timing".
Excuse me, but 4 hours really isn't that big of a deal, especially since there are numerous cities we could meet up in that are halfway between us. Plus he's almost done with his degree, and will be looking for a job, so the distance thing wouldn't necessarily be a factor for long. He could find a job in one of the cities I mentioned above and we could both commute or something. But no....he wants me to get a job there (at the place I was interning at) and move there permanently before he even considers whether or not we could be a couple. Considering the place I interned at is an NPS site, it's VERY unlikely I could get a job there with the whole rigmarole you have to do. In the mean time I have a job, and he is going to be the one in a better position to move very soon. It sucked real bad, especially since it was my first experience making the first move on a guy, but I had to realize that he's not committed to making it work, so I needed to move on. It's not bad timing (as he claims)...it's his lack of balls!
i dont agree with the long distance thing
there are a million reasons that are entirely legitimate to not want a long distance relationship, and to consider the distance about to be put in between you to be bad timing.
that doesnt mean you aren't willing to commit or don't have the courage to, sometimes courage isn't worth the effort, no matter how much you love someone.
sometimes, say if you haven't dated enough people, or you know that there is never a chance of them coming back to the city you are in, and for life to go its way, bad timing is entirely legitimate
same thing if they aren't ready for you.
there are just times that someone isn't ready to love, and that IS bad timing.
you have to give it some credit.
I actually have a question to post on here... since it is related.
Last October, while I was in a relationship with my ex, one of my closest guy friends, while drunk, confessed that he liked me and requested I break up with my [ex]boyfriend. Of course I couldn't bring myself to break up with him at the time for another guy since I wouldn't want that to happen to me. Three weeks later, my friend met a girl and got together with her and two months later my boyfriend and I broke up.
He and I have had something for each other for approx 10 years now, but the timing has never been right -- either I am in a relationship or seeing someone or he is. I still care about him a lot, but I am not going to wreck his relationship.
Recently he was deployed. I have been writing him and have sent him a care package or two. He called me from Afghanistan.
I don't know what to do in regards to this situation because our timing has never been right, but the feelings have been there. I am scared to wait because every time I have made a move in the past he wasn't ready. Now he has a girlfriend, and I just want her to make him happy.
I suppose, after this long rant, all I want is to know why it has been so difficult to get over him and why I have never been able to truly get over him. What is wrong with me?
It's probably the fact that you don't know what would have happened had the timing worked out for both of you. If you had dated but then broke up, as much as it sucks to get over, at least you know that it didn't work out.
Uncertainty is always the worst, because you aren't in control of the reasons why it didn't work. It feels like you are fighting forces that are beyond your control, and you can't do anything but ask "Why?"
All you can eventually do is accept that you two never really had a chance. The feelings will probably be there for a while. It's easier to accept that it simply "Wasn't in the cards" than to try and make the feelings go away.
Yea, you're right.
I appreciate the advice
Yes, bad timing does DEFINITELY exist, especially the whole "I really like you but am having trouble getting over someone else" situation.
I believe, its all about the timing. I have been into this lad since i was 17, i'm now 28 and we have gone backwards and forwards and a relationship has never formed. We hang out every now and again, dinner, Cinema go for long drives u name it. we always have a cheeky snog whenever we see each other. we have even slept together twice.
I just think something is against us cos we have both go off and got on with our lives, I mean we have been off to uni and come home and still nothing, however we always find each other. Now I have just found out hes a new father of twins with a woman he doesn't love, his words not mine.
I'm gutted cos i'm now ready for him to be in my life and i told him so and he said i wish i had of known 9 months ago.
I am just thinking to myself timing is so off. We have always had so much fun with each other. Its just really annoying cos this has been going on for ages.
I mean we first met in 2001 and we didn't have our firs kiss til 2003.
If only we could turn back time.
We may have missed our chance now.