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It bothers me that my boyfriend Never posts on my Facebook page. He does have me listed as his relationship status but thats it. Am I reading too much into this ?

Yes. You're reading too much into this. Facebook is not reality. Things that happen on social networking sites are not real life. They are fun little alternate universes built to attract digital masses so that they can connect, and so that advertising can be sold to them. Facebook is fun; getting upset over it means you need to get out more.

I place little to no value on the things said or not said publicly on sites like Facebook. That he lists you in his relationship status is, in my view, above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to his Facebook responsibility. Relationship statuses are increasingly the province of teens -- a couple Facebook breakups teaches most adults that relationship statuses are more pain than they are worth.

I know you don't want to think of yourself as high maintenance. You're a strong, independent woman.

A regular Xena, Warrior Princess.

Right?

Read more into your actual boyfriends actions and words, not his virtual actions and words.

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12 Comments

Melissa

I agree. Bringing it up causes more problems than it's worth. I know from experience.

BBQ Beru

While I share John DeVore's dim perspective on social networking, many other people do not, including the one writing in for advice. If a public display of internet affection is something she wants from her boyfriend, then she probably already places a high value on that kind of thing.

However, I hope she seriously considers the last sentence of John's answer, because wouldn't you rather have an awesome, devoted boyfriend in private (who doesn't bother to let online voyeurs in on your life) than a neglectful boyfriend who diligently maintains a shallow social networking pretense?

user-pic

but you can't help thinking if it's not that big of a deal, why is he posting on other people's pages while avoiding hers? it doesn't make sense.

LaVerdad101

Heres the thing, if he posts on other peoples pages then it is kinda weird that he wont post on yours- but if he doesnt then maybe the relationship status thing should be good enough. I had a facebook and I never posted a thing to anyone, it can b pretty time consuming and annoying. I didnt even put my gf as my sig other on my relationship status lol so maybe u should feel lucky? idk...consider all the factors b4 u bring this issue up to him and remember its just an online social network not real life.

user-pic

Check out the other social sights he is on. Is he doing the same thing? Check out his friends list. See who mainly writes him. If it's mostly females with little names like Karen "your man wants me" Jenkins, or they're always calling him babe, baby, etc then it is because he likes the thrill of getting attention from other women. Whether you give it to him or not. It is exciting to him. He feels he already has you so what does he need to write you on FB for? This, in general, can be a sign that he has lessened his efforts at keeping and appreciating you and has set his sites on something more "in the moment". Why bring more attention to you, his companion, when he doesn't have to. May turn the other women off.

user-pic

Some people really aren't into the whole facebook thing - they'll have one they'll check once in a blue moon, but don't spend the insane amount of time others (for example, me) spend on it. Additionally, he may be uncomfortable using such a public space to carry on a relationship. I know if I had a boyfriend right now, I'd feel weird even publicly acknowledging it on my profile because people can comment, and everyone on my friends list would be notified...maybe if I got married I'd consider changing my relationship status =) As long as he's alright when he's with you, then why worry?

VKnoxville

This is a legitimate question (to me, at least). Sometimes it's nice to have that little piece of PDA on your Facebook Wall, damnit. To be honest, though, sometimes guys just don't know what to write! It's OK to say "I love you squooshy, wooshy-face" in person, but it loses its effect in writing (oh and it's downright embarrassing)

user-pic

This actually bothered me with my boyfriend. I asked him in a joking teasing way why he doesn't post anything on my page or comment me back when he does so for other people. He basically said it's because he talks to me all the time and barely sees these other people. Social networking sites for him is just a way to keep in touch with people he barely talks to. Plus, he'd rather tell me what he wanted to say in person than on a social networking site. the way he explained it is true. It's better to have a boyfriend who is there for you personally than be superificial on a social site. As long as he's completely there for you and cares for you in the relationship and shows it, then it shouldn't be that big of a deal.

user-pic

This actually bothered me with my boyfriend. I asked him in a joking teasing way why he doesn't post anything on my page or comment me back when he does so for other people. He basically said it's because he talks to me all the time and barely sees these other people. Social networking sites for him is just a way to keep in touch with people he barely talks to. Plus, he'd rather tell me what he wanted to say in person than on a social networking site. the way he explained it is true. It's better to have a boyfriend who is there for you personally than be superificial on a social site. As long as he's completely there for you and cares for you in the relationship and shows it, then it shouldn't be that big of a deal.

groomer39

so when your dating and the girl is freinds with everyone in his family and friends but he is friends with a couple of hers, does this mean the relationship with her and him are really good. id love some insight on that one....

user-pic

Seriously, enough with the Facebook PDAs, people! Isn't it good enough that you exchange sweet nothings with your lover in private? Is it only legitimate if 400 of your closest friends are witness to it?
For god's sake, spare us.

user-pic

to be honest I get annoyed at people who have full blown PDAs on facebook, it is as if they are insecure about their relationship and feels the need to always be on show. My bf and I hardly ever post msg on facebook simply because we talk enough in real life already and if I needed to post a msg I just phone or sms him..so don't worry about him not posting msg on facebook :D

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