I feel your pain, sister. As the branded Funny Guy, the deepest relationship I can reasonably expect from the people in my life is the same one they have with a Youtube video of two teenagers kicking one another in the nuts.
Being funny is often a defense mechanism for those who would otherwise just stare blankly or run away in terror when confronted with social interaction, and it's tough to shake once you've gotten good at it. A sarcastic remark or appropriate reference is so much easier than trying to actually open up to a bunch of--let's be honest--probable criminals.
My favorite trick is to ask a lot of questions. I'll listen to the other person long enough to pick out a key phrase, like "Darfur," "getting married," or "hip replacement surgery," then say, "really? And what's that like? Must be crazy."
Asking questions gives others the impression you're interested in what they're saying (the fools), and also buys you plenty of time to calculate your next move while they blather on about whatever.
It's a great way to avoid awkwardness, and often gets the other person to open up first. After they've taken the plunge, it's a lot easier to risk it yourself. Allow their hip replacement surgery to spark one of your own, and go from there. And don't lie; we've all got harrowing hip replacement surgery stories.
Funny is great, but commiserating, and finding shared (or, equally, totally alien) life experiences is what forms the bonds of society. Be curious about the people around you, and they'll return the favor.
And even if they don't, they've just given you a bunch of personal information, making mocking them all the easier.
Michael's right. Being funny is a defense mechanism, one that can be really hard to shake. Not to go all cliche or anything, but a defense is only useful if you can walk away from it.
I have this problem myself, so I'm far from a finished piece of art. However, limiting yourself to only one facet of your personality is quite limiting. Even that guy you've been eyeballing is only a person, like you.
yes, this explains me exactly and when u try to explain to people a different side of urself they dont want to talk about it. sure im funny but i hav a serious side too, just no one lets me show it cause its easier branding someone as the funny person then seeing that they have different layers to their personality.
It sounds to me like you all need new friends. If people only keep you around because they don't have access to youtube at the moment, you've got some friggin' issues, man. Issues!
Sophie- you've got it ALL wrong. What you said is simply not the case, by any means. What they're all talking about, is just about how people who they're friends with are almost incapable of realizing that there are other sides to them and to their personalities. It's not that their friends "only keep them around because they don't have access to youtube at the moment," it's just that it's frustrating for them because it's hard for their friends to see them as people who have other sides to them (ex: serious side, emotional side). The friends aren't in denial of the other sides, they just don't see them in THAT way (in all those other senses) because the people don't ever expose themselves in that vulnerable light.
Allison--Sophie was displaying a social strategy called "humor." Specifically, she was making a "joke." The jargon takes a while to get used to, but with practice, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Indeed, Pamela. Also--if the people that you call friends are unable to see you as a complex person (which in my opinion, every one has multiple sides and are therefore people who should be validated no matter where they're coming from), by that same token you should still be looking for friends that do. If you are not getting what you want out of a relationship, no matter how trivial, what is the point of keeping them around when your needs aren't being met. I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin.
OMG, I am always dubbed the Funny Girl!!! Which is totally annoying, I am pretty awesome to converse w/ if I have no interest in the man. Get me around a guy that I am interested in and I cant even remember my name, its ridiculous and super embarrassing. I just cant push my self to even say "Hi" w/o my debilitating fear that comes over me. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????
It just sounds like you have a severe case of anxiety with the opposite sex. You just need to build up your confidence and realize that guys are pretty easy. You just look over, make eye contact, and smile. Rinse, repeat. If he's interested, he will be doing the same thing back, and will very soon be walking over to talk with you. Just gotta remember to relax and let the juices flow. If you're a funny girl, then he'll be impressed by your sense of humor, which goes a long way!
"Being funny is often a defense mechanism for those who would otherwise just stare blankly or run away in terror when confronted with social interaction, and it's tough to shake once you've gotten good at it. A sarcastic remark or appropriate reference is so much easier than trying to actually open up"
I have this problem, as well as being an honest person. People love that I'm blunt, sarcastic, and know a lot of shit, but it's not winning me any points.