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It's been three years and I want something back from my ex. Is it kosher to ask for it back?

Interesting question. It brings up a few issues and questions.

Let's start with the obvious one: did it really take you three years to decide that you wanted this particular thing back? Is it your childhood? Is it a set of Buddha candle holders? And mostly what makes you think that you're ex still has it?

Unless it's a car or something that you've seen him driving around in constantly. Which, again, did it really take three years to realize you wanted it back? It's much easier to get things back right after a breakup then three years later. Or two years later for that matter.

But the other piece of it is is simply: it's yours. It's fine to ask for it back. A few weeks back I had a friend of mine put my sunglasses up for me while I was working on something. My friend left and I couldn't find my sunglasses to save my life. I was perplexed and somebody asked me why I was looking for them so feverishly. I was like, "because they're mine." At the end of the day that's all it comes down to. If it's your stuff, you have the right to ask for it back.

Next time, try to be a little more prompt with that though.

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6 Comments

silkysly

I don’t have anything from a guy I dated 3 years ago. Maybe he doesn’t either. It's just stuff…, go buy more.

user-pic

Me neither. In fact, right after our breakup, we went through our things and sorted it all out before parting ways.

user-pic

That depends on what it is. Something very sentimental (but not about the former relationship), or pricey, then it would be worth asking him. Something not expensive and no personal or sentimental value, then just forget about it.

As silkysly says, you can always buy more.

kamakula

I don't know. Aren't there abandonment laws or something like that. Where if you knowingly leave a belonging somewhere without claiming it for some time, especially in an area belonging to someone else where you don't have a reasonable expectation that they will secure and hold your possession for you, then they can do with it whatever they please.

My answer is no. She can ask for it back, but even if it still exists or is in his possession, there is no obligation for him to give it back.

user-pic

I believe that it would be easy after a break up, to not realize that something got left behind, and then once you realize you don't have a particular item, wonder where it went, then some time goes by and you realize that the item is still at your ex's place. However, after 3 years, there is no guarantee that the guy still has this item and even if he did he would probably view the item as belonging to him. So you could ask for the item back (if you are still on speaking terms) but don't hold your breath on actually getting it.

user-pic

Yeesh. Sorry GBFF; I usually try to let a typo here and there slide, but you used the wrong form of "your" and the wrong form of "than" in the same post.

I know they're common mistakes, but it just looks a bit unprofessional.

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