Yep. You need a reality check.
We had conflicting desires in the beginning, so we decided to stay friends.
These conflicts been solved or are they still hiding in the corners waiting to pounce? If they are still there, you will not be happy for long. Fix them first, assuming he has any interest in doing that.
No guy is really looking for a commitment at that age. We normally just wake up one day and find out we have one. Then all too frequently, going by the dilemmas here, panic and do something really incredibly stupid.
I'll tell you what my BF has told me repeatedly. If a guy tells you that he isn't ready for something, it is safe to assume he isn't ready for it. Guys are not THAT complicated. I got into a relationship with my guy after.a divorce. He was my best guy friend. And he kept telling me he wasn't ready to commit to me. I tried to push, which lead to a break for some soul searching. He left me know he was ready...on his own terms and in his own time. If this guy is telling you the same thing, believe him.
Yes- all true! But I think the underlying issue that we may all have asked ourselves at one time, that I see here is: "Does he not want a relationship, or does he just not want a relationship with ME."
A VERY good point!!!...and if that is the case...do you just come out and ask them or wait drumming your thumbs until he decides?
Stay away. You'll only get hurt.
Hey, I asked the question.
I didn't have a chance to give details, but we were never actually romantically involved. We sort of went out (but it was never really a date; we were hanging out) and at one point, he planted one on me out of nowhere. Tongue and everything. I could tell what he was implying, and told him that I prefer he take me out first, because I'm not interested in just hooking up. He explained he wasn't looking for commitments. And though I wasn't necessarily looking for commitment, I knew that I could easily become serious and end up wanting to commit anyways. So it was there where we decided to stay friends.
Weird thing is, he doesn't want "slutty" girls. He doesn't even like clubs that much because of the women he encounters there. He wants a girl he actually likes, but doesn't need to tie himself down to.
So I should move on? There's probably no chance he'd change his mind about dating me? We haven't spoken of it since that first night. And I'm scared to mention it, because regardless, I want to keep him as a friend. If I told him how I feel, it could change everything.
Yep. Move on.
He is being nice; he really doesn’t like you like that. He just wanted a little game of tag. You told him you’re “…not interested in just hooking up” so he backed off. Go find a guy who wants what you want. It’s not him. What is that line? “Don’t waste the pretty!”
MM is right. He just wants sex, regardless of how much he dresses it up with "not wanting slutty girls". If he wants casual sex, it doesn't matter whether he meets her in a club or the library; it's still casual sex. It's not like he's having less sex just because he met them not at a bar or club. And if he's having it often enough, then I'm afraid he's slutty too. Or promiscuous. Or however you want to put it. Which is fine, if that's how you want to live your life, but it's clearly not what you're looking for.
Thanks MM, and everyone else. You're all totally right. I shall get on with my life! :D