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I've been dating a guy for 6 months and we have yet to be intimate. He has already told me he loves me and wants me to move in with him. While I'm head over heels for him too and am thrilled with the idea I kinda wanna know what kind of lover he is before we decided to move in together. Is this an unfair request?

It's not an unfair request given that the bedroom bojanglin' cleary matters to you. Now, I will say considering it a deal breaker might be an issue, but then again, if sex means that much to you and is important enough to write in a question about, I can't imagine you being happy with a man who was a tragic lover. By tragic lover, I just mean bad in bed or small in standing.

Rimshot.

I remember reading that sex and finances were the most common reasons for divorce. Now I'm guessing that means the actual act of having sex not the type of sex but what's important to you is important. Why haven't you all done the deed. I am slightly surprised that you are considering moving in with somebody that you've yet to be intimate with. What's the holdup? Moving in is a significantly more risky (well as long as you are strapping up) decision than sleeping with somebody, especially when sleeping with him is your big concern.

I have another question: would you break up with him if the sex was wacksauce? That might be a convo you all need to have about your desires and needs in the relationship before you start talking about moving in and making a commitment of that size.

That was a pun.

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3 Comments

silkysly

"wacksauce"..., I love it.

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I dated a man for 3 months before he even kissed me. He was so perfect in all ways but when he kissed me it was not good. I figured he was nervous. However after we had sex it was pretty lack luster too. I love him and we were very compatible in many ways except in the bedroom. I tried to make suggestions but we never got the bedroom part to click. After 5 months I broke up.

I think after 6 months it is important to at least have a sense if you are sexually compatible. Personally I would want to know how sex is between us before we move in.

Tough decision but if that is an important area for you and it doesn't click it won't work.

boop

I don't wanna ring any alarms, but I'm surprised you didn't say - Girls BFF - that this is kind of a red flag. I'm assuming it's not for any religious reasons that he's withholding the sex, because then he wouldn't want to live with you. I am no guy, but I've read on here many times that guys don't WANT to wait. So maybe he's trying to be respectful... but then, you want to have sex, so I'm not sure.

This is one big jumble. You guys make it look easy. Long story short, I think it's a weird situation. Doesn't really make sense. I'd just ask him when you guys are gonna get it on.

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