Long term illness is a son-of-a-bitch on so many fronts. Often it's hard to even separate where the actual illness ends and its repercussions begin. They blend into one pile of pain and difficulty. Sorry you're wrestling with this. I don't know what your prognosis is, or how long you've been sick, but here's my 200 cents.
You've been with your man for a few years. Hopefully, a good portion of that time was spent with you less encumbered with health issues. You've already built a baseline of what you DO under better circumstances, and while I'm sure you both wish that could be your lifestyle now - it's not. You DO different things at the moment, but you still are you. Your man probably recognizes that - more than you can. And while it's easier said than done - to not bully yourself, fill up with shame and guilt -I'd suggest you trust that your man values you because of who you are. Not what you DO.
If you sense he's getting frustrated or annoyed, then talk about it. Maybe you were taking care of him beyond normal bounds before you got ill. Maybe, though the pendulum is currently shifted entirely in the other direction, your goal as a couple should be to find a middle-ground. A more equal give and take.
All you can DO is work towards health and balance: In your body and in your relationship. Good luck on both fronts and may the fun be with you!
Funny Guy
I think the ending got a bit confused there...
I laughed when you started talking about diapers.
I have a similar worry with my partner; although my issue has to do with a mental illness rather than a physical/medical (not that mental illnesses aren't medically accepted) one. I do feel bad sometimes when I think I'm taking more than I'm giving, but I reassure myself by saying that yes, I AM trying my best to give, and sometimes, well, I just can't. And there's nothing more I can do about that than I already am doing. So I forgive myself.
Maybe you could try that, too. One difference is that my partner isn't resentful or annoyed that I lean on him a lot. I'm sorry your boyfriend is acting that way. :( That's no fun at all. I hope that improves with time and communication.
You are really lucky you have a couple of years under your belt. My fiance (who was my bf at the time) and I had only been dating for 6 months when I got a very terrible health dx. My illness is literally killing me slowly over time. I just remember sitting in the car after the doctor's visit and thinking "what the hell am I going to do?" My fiance has been amazing, supportive and more awesome than I could possibly put into words. From the moment I told him he has always said to me "We will figure this out", and we have. Sometimes I can do more and sometimes I have to do way less but it's a lot about communication. After 3 years of dating he proposed and told me that he cannot believe the amazing about of courage and strength I have, and for him watching me battle my illness everyday is part of what he loves about me--he knows I am a fighter. So don't think having an illness makes him love you any less because a real guy, with a real heart will respect the fact that you are fighting something tougher than most. Hang in there! AND I would say, talk to him because communication with a long term illness is KEY.
I recognize the ending. Its from another question he answered
Good Call, Jordan!