Wow. That is really rough. Anorexia is a serious condition. Even though you're in recovery, you still need support from friends and family. You would think your dad would remember how difficult it was for you, and not pick at the wounds.
First, you should talk to your dad. Hopefully he's not making these comments to be malicious. Hopefully he's just being a dad and showing his concern. Granted, he's going about it in a nagging, potentially damaging way, but perhaps he thinks he's helping. Make it clear to him that the comments hurt and are setting you back. Remind him that they are the sort of thing that caused you to develop an eating disorder in the first place. Tell him that you appreciate his support, but he needs to quit it with the comments and just offer his love and support. Let him know that you are in control of your diet and mental health, but that it's still a process, and what you need from him right now is support.
Next, you should talk to your therapist. Perhaps your dad could come in for a group session. Because if he knows your triggers, and is still pushing your buttons, that's a problem. Chances are there are some issues here that need to be worked through. Maybe there are things he doesn't understand about your condition, or perhaps he just doesn't know the right thing to say.
If your dad won't agree to therapy, consider taking some time away from him. Let him know that you can't be around him if he's going to keep making passive aggressive comments. You love him, but for your own mental health, you need a break.
Finally, above all else, remember that you're strong and pulled yourself through this. Yes, people like your therapist helped, but, ultimately, YOU did it. You are strong. Other people's comments will not tear you down. Continue to develop a thick skin because there will be people that, inadvertently or not, will say hurtful things. Surround yourself with positive people and remember that you are strong and have overcome so much already. No one will cause you to spiral downward. You are clearly strong and doing the best to stay in control of your life, and for that you should be applauded.
Take care of yourself, and let us know how it goes.
First, you should talk to your dad. Hopefully he's not making these comments to be malicious. Hopefully he's just being a dad and showing his concern. Granted, he's going about it in a nagging, potentially damaging way, but perhaps he thinks he's helping. Make it clear to him that the comments hurt and are setting you back. Remind him that they are the sort of thing that caused you to develop an eating disorder in the first place. Tell him that you appreciate his support, but he needs to quit it with the comments and just offer his love and support. Let him know that you are in control of your diet and mental health, but that it's still a process, and what you need from him right now is support.
Next, you should talk to your therapist. Perhaps your dad could come in for a group session. Because if he knows your triggers, and is still pushing your buttons, that's a problem. Chances are there are some issues here that need to be worked through. Maybe there are things he doesn't understand about your condition, or perhaps he just doesn't know the right thing to say.
If your dad won't agree to therapy, consider taking some time away from him. Let him know that you can't be around him if he's going to keep making passive aggressive comments. You love him, but for your own mental health, you need a break.
Finally, above all else, remember that you're strong and pulled yourself through this. Yes, people like your therapist helped, but, ultimately, YOU did it. You are strong. Other people's comments will not tear you down. Continue to develop a thick skin because there will be people that, inadvertently or not, will say hurtful things. Surround yourself with positive people and remember that you are strong and have overcome so much already. No one will cause you to spiral downward. You are clearly strong and doing the best to stay in control of your life, and for that you should be applauded.
Take care of yourself, and let us know how it goes.
As a recovered anorexic, I think this is a great answer.
Cary, it's good that you can recognize your triggers, so please don't let your dad get to you. It's hard for people who haven't suffered from an eating disorder to truly understand the power that their comments and "critiques" can carry, so continue talking with your therapist about how to remind your dad (and others) of this. You really are SO strong for having gotten out of the horrible cycle that the disease creates, and, as Nick said, you should definitely be proud!
I wish all the best for you! For me, recovery has been so much more liberating than I could have imagined in the depths of my anorexia; I truly hope you find the same peace with yourself :)