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I've been trying out online dating and might finally meet up with someone. Should I expect this to be like a regular date? I pretty much always expect (though I always offer) the guy to pay for the 1st date. Is it fair for me to expect this?

It should absolutely be just like a regular date. Just because you met online, that doesn't mean he shouldn't fulfill all of the usual first date requirements. He should pay for you, hold doors for you, not bring up ex-girlfriends--all the things that make for a good first date. 

Even if you're doing the "meet for coffee pre-date" thing to make sure he isn't a twitchy psycho with visible sores, he should at least buy your coffee and/or pastries of choice. He should want to make a good impression; even though you've already "met" online, now you get to see how he acts in person. Your usual first date checklist should still apply. Does he take a bite of your food without asking? Is he rude to waiters? Does he have an annoying laugh? Now is the time to discover all of the things that you can't find out from his online profile.

Don't do anything that you wouldn't normally do on a first date. In fact, pretend like you met him at a bookstore or something. (Do people still meet in bookstores?) Pretend like you haven't been swayed by his online persona and judge him on the first date. And, if he makes it to a second date, treat that like any other second date. Online dating may start out differently, but, ultimately, it's still dating.
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3 Comments

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This is definitely true. A guy needs to be on his game like any other first date.
A twitchy psycho with visible sores...love it!

Michael Swaim

Is the guy paying for first date still automatically expected? And am I an asshole for wondering that aloud?

And I know typing something isn't "aloud;" I also say whatever I type.

Nick Nadel

I'm a firm believer in the guy paying on the first date. She can offer, but I'll insist. If she wants to buy a round later on in the evening though, I certainly won't turn it down.

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