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Mystery Man

 
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I've been what I can't really name more than being just a booty call for the last 20yrs to the same guy..it's time to break away right? It's so hard as we get on so well.

One second, please.

TWENTY FREAKING YEARS AS A BOOTY CALL AND NOW YOU THINK YOU SHOULD MOVE ON!!

That's better. Odd how sometimes swearing just doesn't cut it.

You are a bit late deciding this, by about eighteen years, but better late than never still applies (I guess). To use the cliche, you spent the best years of your life waiting for the phone to ring. Why? No guy would be that dumb, and I know some truly ivory skulled, rock stupid guys.

Of course you get on well, you two have been having sex for longer than most marriages. Longer than the internet has existed. Since before Friends was on TV. Almost as long as the Simpsons has existed. Get the idea?
Get out. Find a guy that wants you. All of you, not just what you got when he gets bored.

Look, I am all for gals having fun, an active and enjoyable sex life with as many or a few strings as they wish, and being the boss of their own destiny, but honestly. I don't get this at all. Can someone - anyone - enlighten me, preferably using very, very short words.

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18 Comments

user-pic

Thinking you are in love with him.
Believing he has feelings for you and that he just doesn't realize it yet.
Hoping he will want to move it to the next level.
Fear of being alone.
You don't really believe you are just a booty call.
Not interested in meeting anyone else.

Yes, she could have ended it earlier than 20 years - but why didn't he?

user-pic

why didn't he end it? b/c he was getting exactly what he wanted from the situation. She shouldn't have waited for him to make the decision for her. If she wasn't happy she should have ended it.

silkysly

It’s her comfort zone….

chrissie1101

she doesn't think she's worth any better.

user-pic

Of course I deserve more, I just haven't met anyone that it has worked out with yet or have as much chemistry with.

Tariana

DaaaaaaaAMN. I hope to God neither of them is married.

20 years?! That would make me 8 years old when they started boinking each other.

user-pic

20 YEARS?! Heaven help her! Booty calls are meant for dry spells between relationships when you still want some action, not as a substitute for a real relationship!

Carly

I was BORN the year they started boinking each other. =/ That's just insane!

Carly

Oops, this was supposed to go under Faye's comment, my B

user-pic

20 years?! I was a booty call for 5 months and I had enough. It's time to start living your life and meeting someone who HONESTLY cares about you EMOTIONALLY.
He should've ended it cause he know exactly what was going on and didn't do anything cause he knew he didn't have to.
Good luck with everything.

Carly

Let's just hope that this woman had other relationships in the meantime, not just this one guy. Because if not, that's pretty much the saddest situation I can think of.

user-pic

Hi all, I posted the question!
I guess I just needed to see people's reactions as it's not something I discuss with anyone really. It's certainly not about being scared of being alone, I'm very independent and comfortable with my life. Indeed we've both had other relationships, myself, more so and I would never close myself off to something good. We both enjoy each others company, we talk alot, watch tv, drink wine and we help each other out sometimes. I don't know, it's just turned out that way and a long time has passed. For it to stop would mean absolutely no contact which is hard as we are good friends and no, not married!

Mystery Man

It is hard. You do deserve better though.

user-pic

Thanks. I know, and it's actually getting easier as time passes.

Toy Honey Lung

You've answered your own question.
You've decided it's time for something different.
I actually have an awkward respect for you, that you've managed to have someone comfort and sex with someone for such a long time.
But it sounds like a new chapter coming on for you.
Listen to your heart.
It will help you explain the situation to him.

hg

Did you learn something from it? Can you take this experience and find something better in the next? Only you can answer that.

hg

DId you learn anything from this experience? Can you take what you learned and move on to the next and find something better? Only you can answer that

user-pic

Yes I've learnt. I've learnt that I can like someone else more, it's just that nothing has worked out yet..he's not my world but we're all human at the end of the day and it's nice to have a chat, cuddles and sex with someone I like and who I know well. He has a tendency to interfere if I'm seeing someone but I know he just wants his cake and eat it as he's never going to commit to anything.

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