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Mystery Man

 
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I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months..he's already discussed marriage, children and baby names with me...does that mean he loves me??

Either he loves you or he's playing one hell of a sick joke. I'm going to guess love though. If he hasn't said it yet, I'm willing to bet he will soon.

In related news, eight months is, for some guys, enough time to decide that he's with the woman he wants to spend his life with. So the fact that he's talking about it is not something that should be met with surprise. He loves you and is thinking seriously about how his future is going to look with you in it.

Hopefully you love him too and can see yourself with him for the long haul. If so, congratulations and invite your friendly neighborhood Mystery Man to the wedding.

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20 Comments

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UHHHHH....Dont ever trust a guy's word. Trust his actions. If he puts a ring on that finger, gets you pregnant, buys a house, etc...then YEAH, he meant it. But mainly its just ways for him to wrap his fingers around you or make you feel good by telling you things you want to hear.

Basically its pillow talk. I dont ever trust a guy when he says stuff like that, unless his actions follow through. Just have a good time and when he says stuff like that, just go with flow and add shit to the storyline, make him know you dont take it too serious but that you are cool enough to imagine that fairytale with him. Good luck!

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I agree with Moe. When it comes to men, always believe the words you'd rather not hear like "I'm not looking for a relationship" or "I've never imagined being married". And never believe appeasing words like "I see us forever together" unless he's taking solid actions to make it happen. Even "I love you" doesn't count if he just acts like a dick anyway. Sorry, it's sad but true.

silkysly

I’m sorta with Moe on this one Myst. A guy can tell you want you want to hear, Hell he will even cosign on that with some actions. I bought the dream when it was sold to me & found out he was leading a double life with the ex. It happens…, just be aware. That’s all.

(ps.., sick joke is right.)

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I'm going to have to agree with the above three posters. Take what he said about babies and marriage with a grain of salt. Most women, including me, have been fed happily ever after lines and ended up devastated when he turned out to the be villain in the fairy tail. If a guy says he is going to move in, propose, or whatever the milestone promised, than tells you to wait a little longer because " enter convenient excuse" , for months or even years.. its time to get a new man because the one your with is full of it. You don't want to waste your time on someone who is all talk and no action.

Good Luck

goodkarmagirl

I soooo wish my response was the one "surprisingly positive" alternative to the above...but nope. Sorry to say. And sorry that my recent 18 month long relationship experience is the exact reason why you don't want to trust the words over actions. This happens at all ages too. My (now ex) BF was 50, and I'm late 40s. We were like a family with his kids, and he talked all the time about retiring together, and even stopped at ring stores in the mall to show me what style engagement ring he thought would look good on me. Last week, I accidentally found a post on his son's Facebook page (he didn't know it was public and I could see it) where he was complaining about having to move, because his dad was planning to move in with his girlfriend Kelly.
Guess what? I'm not Kelly.

Be soft and sweet on the outside, but aware and strong on the inside. And don't ignore red flags. They wave briskly for a reason.
Good luck.

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I'm gonna be the optimist here. Sure, there are a lot of jerks and players out there and you should always be aware of that, but I would venture to say that the majority of guys aren't gonna to stick around for 8 months and discuss those kinds of things as some kind of sick joke. Guys often just say what they mean, it's women that usually over think it and twist it around. Why not just assume that he means it and that he loves you? It doesn't mean you have to get married and have children right this second, you should still wait a good while longer and make sure he still means it after you've been together longer. But I still see nothing wrong with just accepting what he says at face value, as long as you don't get so sucked into it that you're completely heartbroken if he turns out to be one of those jerks. Protect yourself emotionally, but don't become one of those paranoid women that are suspicious of every word a guy says.

chrissie1101

yep, with the ladies on this one too. the "last date" i had with one guy several years ago we had gone house hunting and i was entertained with similar songs and dances. and i haven't seen him since. unfortunately today, the factors you mention aren't enough to determine if he loves you. what are the day to day things like? does he keep his promises? does he have a history of not making promises he cant keep? does he treat you like you walk on water? you would be surprised how little love has to do with those things for some people, but if the other stuff is there then he probably does love you.

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Don't listen to the nay-sayers on here. In case you haven't noticed, they are all women and most of them have past issues they can't let go of. I wouldn't take relationship advice from a woman with trust issues, because it probably wouldn't be very positive regardless of the question. I mean, just because they were unlucky to have dated liars and jerks doesn't mean all men are like that. They're just jaded and probably secretly jealous that you have what they don't. That's not your fault nor does it mean your guy is lying, they're just being illogical and catty.

Btw, I think Mystery Man would know more about what goes on inside the minds of men than a woman would.

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I thought the comments were most amusing. Look over the archives here, there's many questions relating to why men won't commit. Not to mention on other sites like this one and the ones in newspapers - even on TV shows. And yet it seems whenever a man does seem willing to commit, a lot of these very same women bash and knock down on him. God forbid if a man is eager to commit, he's bashed and berated even more and accused of being a stage 5 clinger or whatever. No wonder so many young men don't want to commit. Look what happens to a man who does express a desire to be in a committed relationship.

Oh well, not my problems lol.

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Actions speak louder than words. Always. Talk is cheap. All the comments are only highlighting this fact.

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If he really loves you, he will make you pregnant as soon as possible.

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Wow, ladies. Just wow. I'm sorry you all had bad experiences, but assuming that the average man who talks about commitment is just as likely to be feeding you a line as he is to be sincere? That seems a bit extreme. Indeed, actions speak louder than words and it's good to remind the OP of that, but I would think that Joe Average probably means it when he starts talking about commitment. My fiance certainly did, and that was within a few months.

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my husband knew by month 4 that he wanted to marry me, he proposed on month 9 and we were married on month 17. honest guys outweigh the dishonest guys but you only ever hear about the Jerks. I'm with Mystery Man, Nina Pie and the positive people here. There are just as many awful women as there are men, but the mjority of people mean what they say ESPECIALLY in regards to commitment. Two of my good friends when they started dating they talked about marriage and children a LOOONNGGG time before they ever said I love you, but they were both committed and honest people and they didn't need to say those words to feel that way, it went without saying that they loved each other but they did need to talk about what they expected from a future together to see if it was plausible, they are now engaged and getting married next summer. My sister and her boyfriend were the same way, they talked about marriage and kids before they even said they loved each other, but everyone who knew them knew they loved each other. someone saying they want to spend the rest of their life with you, who wants you to be there throughout all the unknown obstacles life throws, to have you as their 1st and only pick as their life-long teammate is a really big thing, and it speaks volumes more than a simple "I love you". Take his word for it, I would never ever consider talking about marriage with someone I couldn't see myself with. I could have never even imagined my life with any of my other exes, even though I dated and loved them I could have never spent my entire life with them. I couldn't imagine spending my life with any guy I ever knew or dated before my husband, so if he's imagining a life together means he's pretty serious.

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I think if your enjoying your time someone, make the most of it and see how you feel after some more time. When we spend time trying to analyse everything you can miss out on the day to day things that make us decide that we do or don't want to share your life with a person. Just enjoy your relationship and if he's serious, you'll have processed how you feel about each other by the time it comes to making a life changing decision like getting married.

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phhew!!! that's what i was searching for!!! you guys did make a real brainwash!!!
I've known my boyfriend for almost 1 year now and we've just told our parents about us. On my side they seems pretty fine with it and guess on his its the same. But what my parents want, is an engagement by the end of 2013! BEFORE i told my parents about him, he used to tell me '' when you gona tell inform your parents about us...? when will the day come where i'm gona put a ring on your finger?! '' and now when we've talked about getting engaged he feels reluctant about the whole concept !! :S
he used to tell me that he wants me as his wife.. and when i told him that maybe in 4 years time we would get married he was like '' thats too early''!
I know am still learning...finishing my Course in 3 years time and on his side he will end in 4 years... but i duno. if its me who's being insecure or he got another thoughts... :(

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I've been dating my boyfriend almost 16months and I feel ready to be engaged already however I think on his side we will be waiting at least another year. He said that after we live together for about a year then things can change and when we get fincially secure marriage & children will be after that. We told each other after 6 months that we loved each other and I felt that was just the right amount of time. Engagements seem to be happening later in a relationship now like 4 or 5 years down the road . My bf has friends that have been together for 10 + years and still not married or engaged. I just know I don't want to wait that many years waiting for a ring it's a waste of time. I agreed on living together before marriage hapPend but I said I needed more of a commitment afterwards and after a yr of living together we need another plan. I think it just depends on the people in the relationship if they want to wait or not. It should be a mutual dicision on whats happening next not a altamaten

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i am giftom i told my boyfriend to take a week space from me to sort out his feelings. i was hopeful that things would work out as he was always telling me that he love me and had strong feelings for me. but all of a sudden he said that he wanted to be single and had doubts about our future together. i did cry but i did not beg him to stay. i said sorry for any hurt i had caused him and thanked him for showing me love. very hard but i did it with as much dignity as i could. but i never understand why he don't want to stay with me. but before he left he told me i am irresistible, lovely warm person etc but he just want to walk away from my life. the pain was awful. our getting together was fateful and we found out our birthday both 1st June. he is 26 and i am 22. it was weird. i thought we were made for each other. he deleted my numbers but i never let go of him. i wanted him back but he has made up his mind so i had no choice but to look for a way to get him back so what i did was to look for a spell caster to help me get back my lover fast as possible, when i came a cross ayelalashrine@gmail.com so he did a love spell for me and the spell came out perfect, my lover reconciled with me and we came back together and since then we have been in peace and the lover is flowing perfectly

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My boyfriend and I am almost 40. We've both been married before. I have 2 children and he has none. I know he loves us, and we love him. I have a huge fear of getting married again and I definately don't want anymore kids. Lately he's made remarks about marriage and kids and kids names. When we first started dating I thought we were on the same page. Now I'm not sure. When he talks about it, it almost seems like he's joking. I'm freaking out because I think subcontiously I'm considering it. When he talks about it I just laugh it off. Lately I've been having dreams about getting married and last night I dreamed I was pregnant. What to make of this?

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