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In the past few months I've gone out with two guys both attractive, seemingly stable guys. We are having a nice time at dinner, then he says "I've just met my future wife." WE JUST MET! LOL. Then when I tell them I'm not interested in casual sex.....that's the last I hear from them. What is that about?

Sounds like you came within inches of getting played on both fronts. Kudos! It's amazing that women don't realize the levels of deceit a dude will employ in order to get some. Then they become confused when the words the guy is spewing don't match up with his actions.

The "I've just met my future wife" line is classic. But, since it would be pretty rare to know such a thing that soon, the guy's lying so that he can get some poon, then poof, he moves on. In this case he most likely would have moved on even if you had hooked up with him.

Dudes are tricky. Those that come on that strong are usually playing a game. But, beware also the "I don't have a game" guy, he's got the most game of them all.

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6 Comments

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God, why couldn't you tell me this before I met my ex-boyfriend?!

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"I don't have a game" guy, he's got the most game of them all.

OMG, this statement is sooo true. I've heard that and "I could really see myself falling in love with you". Ugh, puke.

I think the same is true for people who say they hate drama. If you have to say you hate it you're probably looking for it. At least that's been my experience.

nightantics75

True dat. I was talking to this guy who said he wasn't a ladies man because of all the games women play. The whole "say what you mean and mean what you say" bit is what he was referring to. Ironically, all this guy did was play games! I mean I never met anyone like this guy before. I was like are you sure it wasn't you playing all the games in the past??

Mags Happy

As a newly divorced woman I feel I have a lot to learn still since I haven't dated in over 20 years (LOVE your website - have learned a LOT!). I've become really attached to a "player" and thought I could handle it (knew enough to recognize the 'lines' and the signs but he was so lovable while doing it and would throw in just enough sincerity). MM, Sonia and Jules, you've all described what I've been dealing with and it's time I faced it for what it's only been to him - a game.

Divagirl

That sux, but I'm in the opposite boat...I really want to have sex with this guy I met, and we've been out 4 x, and only fooled around and had oral. We're both mid 40s, so it should be "game on" but he wants to wait. WTF???
We can't win either way! haha

katej

it would be very hard not to reply with "Really? That's AMAZING, because I think I just met my future ex-husband"...don't' forget to smile :D

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