Oops.
I can see why he is angry. It's not so much what the lie is about, but how long you kept it from him. Two years is a long time to perpetuate a phony story. I'm sure you never meant to keep the truth from him that long; you were probably embarrassed at first, and maybe you were hoping to finish up your degree before he found out. Now that he knows you misled him, his trust in you is shaken, and understandably so.
If you could keep this from him for two years, he's asking himself, what else have you not told him?
But you know what? Shite happens. You're human. We all screw up. I'm sure you're kicking yourself enough that you don't need me or anyone else to put on our boots and help you. While I understand why he's angry, I think evicting you--and, I assume, dumping you--is a punishment that doesn't fit the crime. Yes, you lied, but out of embarrassment, not a desire to hurt him or conceal some horrible thing you did.
As for him not being the forgiving type, that is both convenient and unfortunate, because, as one old saying goes, "He who cannot forgive destroys the bridge over which he himself must pass." That means that he's gonna screw up one day, and you can believe that he will cross his fingers and toes that you are the forgiving type when that happens. I just hope he is smart enough to realize that you can't expect forgiveness unless you are willing to give it out yourself.
All I can suggest is that you let him cool off for a few days and then try to talk to him about it again. Dissolving your two-year relationship and kicking you out is a drastic consequence for your deceit. It's not like you cheated on him or gave him an STD. But you were definitely wrong, and he needs to know that you accept responsibility and regret your actions.
I think you deserve a second chance, but if he won't budge on his anger, then there's not much else you can do beyond apologizing. I'm afraid this might end up being a costly lesson for you. I hope I'm wrong, though.
Thanks for the question.
I'd like to hear the bf's side. Eviction and break-up of a two-year relationship is a pretty drastic response to a single betrayal like this, albeit one the writer perpetuated for way too long. Maybe he was unhappy and this was just an easy exit opportunity. Maybe this wasn't the first and only lie, just the last, best, big one.
Your big whopper aside, I'd be very concerned about him not being "the forgiving type." To me that's a big red flag with sparkles and flashing lights. As Cary (and Maya Angelou) have said, "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." I think he just did. It's a cold, hard heart that has no room for forgiveness. Although you shouldn't have lied, I think you ought to seize this opportunity to move on. (But tell the truth the next time.)
There are much worse things than not finishing college. Just ask Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Woody Allen, or Ted Turner.
I kind of agree with the BF here. I mean, the years you spend in college are a huge part in forming your identity. It's not like you lied about something small here. To say you went through college when you didn't is a big deception, I think, and that says WAY more to me about a person than someone recently hurt claiming they're "not the forgiving type" does. Of course he's going to say that; he feels defensive because of you.
And by you saying "he found out," I assume you didn't tell him, either, but you slipped up in your lie somewhere. That's a double slap in the face, no? It's bad enough if someone owns up to it, but worse if you discover it.
If it were me, I would hope that we could work through it but if he was unwilling, then the only choice is to move out - especially if that's what he asked. Hopefully you sincerely apologized (you don't actually mention this) and let him know that you want to stay and make things right - after that, the rest is up to him... There are consequences to everything that we do. There had to be a good reason why you lied and if he can not find it in him to try to understand and forgive you, you need to move on... Nobody is perfect, not even your boyfriend. Maybe there were other problems besides this lie? The commitment to want to make the relationship work has to come from the both of you. As soon as one decides he wants out, it's over.
I think all of your instincts are right. There must be more to this than we know.
Ok, as the writer of this question, I would like to respond to the comments. First off, Cary nailed it on the reasons for why I did what I did. And yes, this is the only lie I have told him. There is no history of other deceit or infidelity. Another thing I did not have the space to comment on in the original question, is that I recently moved halfway across the country with him, due to his job. So not only am I going through this with him, I'm doing it without any kind of local support system. Personally, I feel like my decision to move with him should be worth something, at least one real attempt to work on things. This is the first real problem we have ever had in our relationship. And to answer Rich Girl Red, its not like I completely lied about attending college. I only have 6 credit hours left, so I feel like if that is the issue, it is fixable. I agree that college is important for growing and learning about yourself, and I did that part of it. Its been almost a month of us living together, yet sleeping in separate rooms, and nothing has changed. Does anyone have any other opinions?
He wants to kick you out because you lied about graduating? lol what a douchebag, you're better off without him if he's just gonna get butthurt over stupid shit like that.