Could be one of two things.
Thing 1: He's just being a guy, i.e. he doesn't like to text, or his phone doesn't have a QWERTY keyboard, which makes texting a royal PITA. Or maybe he thinks a smiley face is an adequate reply. Dudes are like that -- two characters is a fountain of conversation for some of us.
Thing 2: He's still smarting over the breakup and doesn't really want to talk about your relationship -- which wouldn't surprise me. Breakups are hard. No one comes out unscathed, and there's usually one person who feels more wounded than the other, even when the breakup is supposedly mutual. In your case, I'm not sure if it was mutual or not, because "I recently broke up with my bf" can mean either "We recently broke up" or "I recently dumped this loser."
Either way, I get the sense that he's feeling hurt and rejected and licking his wounds. Your intentions are good and your texts are sweet, but he's not having any of it. He's protecting himself. Engaging you in text conversations about what great friends you are and how much you care for each other won't help him get over his hurt feelings, so he's keeping you at arm's length.
There's probably some punishment going on, too. Your attempts to be nice just give him a way to get back at if you if he's truly feeling hurt. You gush, and he replies with terse little stick figures -- his way of saying, yeah, whatever, if you really cared about me we'd still be together. And you thought only women know how to rock the guilt trip and righteous indignation.
This is why I think that couples can rarely be friends after breaking up. There's just too much water under the bridge, and too many hurt feelings and wounded egos. Yes, there are exceptions, but in most cases, being friends after being a couple just doesn't work out. That doesn't mean you shouldn't continue to try, but just know that if it's going to happen, it will take a little time and a lot of healing. So be patient and don't expect more than smiley-face replies for a while.
Or, you could decide you've had enough games and just need to move on, which is okay, too. Me, I'm a fan of the clean break. You've done your best to soothe his feelings, so you can say goodbye and wish him well with a clear conscience.
Your call.
I hate texting. Seriously. And why would you text that kind of stuff, anyway? I would reply with a smiley face, only because it would take longer to type "thanks", which would also be an adequate response.
:)
lol at tag: who am I gonna pork now?
Or maybe he is just saying he wants to be friends and is trying to discourage being closer by not really responding.
I'm with Samsmama.. why is she texting him stuff like that? If she decided to be "friends" with her ex..then she should treat him as that. I hardly believe that she would send any of her normal friends text like that. I also have to wonder, why she needs more (than a simple smiley face) from him. Maybe she should look elsewhere to have her ego stroked.
OR..he's hurt and she's just making it worse. IDK
My first instinct is that his smiley faces are his way of saying, "Yeah, that's nice, but I really don't want to go there again. We did that already, and it didn't work out."
I agree with Cary's statement that it sounds like he is saying to you, "if you really cared about me we'd still be together."
Just my opinion, but I think it might be better for both of you if you let it end and move on.
That's what I was thinking.
Whether or not she means it, he could be feeling those kinds of statements are like rubbing his nose in the fact that they aren't still together, where she might be saying these things to help a. define the relationship and 2. keep him at arms length.
This shit is complicated and the young aren't usually good at putting it all out on the table.
Glad to have this sort of shit behind me.
:(
I agree with lolarex and Daisy; it's his way of saying "we're not going there again", but not because he's hurt. The question actually sounds a whole lot as if she's the one who isn't completely over the break-up yet.
At least he replies! I flat out refuse to respond to text messages. If I respond at all, I call the person back. I don't text. I HATE using cell phones keys to type things.
So I would definitely lean towards answer #1.
It sounds to me like she was the one dumped, he said let's be friends, and she's now texting to show how okay with it she is ... only she's not really. My guess is that he doesn't really want to hurt her feelings but doesn't want to lead her on with any responses. Just my read on it. :)
Blerg, these texts seem self serving. They don't sound like texts from a friend, they sound like texts from an ex. I think we all need to step back sometimes and ask ourselves "Why am I doing this?" Is it to make yourself feel better, to ease some guilt, to hear something you want to hear. I don't believe these texts are coming from a selfless place. Would you send other friends the same sort of saccharine messages 'just because', doubtful.
Let your actions speak louder than your words and give him the space he needs to decide if he wants to remind friends.
I'm on the side of why the hell are you texting him things like that for. I felt huge guilt over my last breakup (even though I knew I hadn't done anything wrong - thank you catholic school) however as an adult I knew better than to keep texting, writing or saying things that would seem like I was trying to comfort him even though I knew it would only make things worse for him because this type of behaviour is only useful for making yourself feel better "at least I'm trying" etc.
Give him space, talk normail shit with him - advice on stuff you used to ask about, guys can problem solve they don't generally do well with mushy crap, especially from an ex. And avoid being condescending. that shit makes people feel terrible "I want you to be happy" it may seem innocent but when you are the down/sad person it can come across as "Up here on my high horse I'm doing just fine without you so you shold try it too. I know i'm amazing & will be hard to get over but I want you to try...eventually for now I will keep rubbing your nose in it to stroke my ego until I find a better way to do it."
sorry to sound mean but seriously when you're bitter you take things bitterly.
Holy shit, girl! Leave him alone and move on. He obviously needs time, and you're not over it. There are so many relationships I've heard of where people break up with or even cheat on each other, then they get all jealous and butthurt when they found out that the other person has moved on or found someone else (especially when they already found someone). Remember, you're the one that ended it in the first place, and that means that you should do just that: end it!