I have been guilty of this. Maybe recently. I wanted to remember the six month anniversary. I planned on remembering it. But when the time came... Look, I get easily distracted sometimes. For instance -- oh look, there's a birdie outside my window!
What's as important as remembering and celebrating important dates is damage control. The anniversary sincerely slipped my mind. Seriously. And when I realized, to my horror, that I had forgotten this momentous occasion, I apologized. And apologized again. I bought flowers. Made new plans. I did everything this side of cracking myself in the skull with a skillet for forgiveness. I went over the top, because I knew how important it was to her. And I also know that there are four special dates that all men must strive to honor: anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine's Day, and Christmas. When it comes to anniversaries, the first six months is significant, but after that, it's only every year.
So yes, I think it's reasonable for a woman to expect her man to show you are on his mind when you're not around four times a year. But I don't think it's a huge deal if he forgets one, especially that early in the relationship. You shouldn't try to make him feel bad, of course, for his failure to surprise you on your six month anniversary. He should understand you are disappointed, and he should try and make it up to you.
Of course, you should let him.
If you expect to celebrate it, why can't you make the plans? Don't just expect something without first dropping hints that it's a big deal for you. I mean, it'd be nice if he remembered on his own, but generally anniversaries are bigger deals for women than men.
Maybe the first 6 month could be celebrated but celebrating every 6 months... every 3 months... or every month is retarded and expensive for the guy. It's annoying.
"Hey babe, I'm going out with the guys to play some pool, maybe some bowling and some beer."
"But... it's our 14 month anniversary!!!"
"..."
I dont know if I'm weird or something, but I've never computated a relationship as having a specific date from the beginning. Therefore I've never really celebrated a specific anniversary (im 21... so nothing too long term yet). How do you guys even chose when you're together? first date? agreeing on not seeing other people? the day you changed your facebook? (jk jk)
Rach, I'm with you. I've been with my boyfriend about 4 years but I wouldn't even know what to consider our anniversary. We may comment "Hey, it was around this time of year we went on our first date." Or "Wow, can you believe we've been hanging around each other for X years? That is cool." That is about all I find necessary. (A wedding anniversary would be another story, of course.) But I don't give a crap about Valentine's Day either so maybe I'm the exception!
hmmm, I think six month anniversarys are ridiculous really. Congrats, you've made it 6 months, so what? Talk to me in another 6 months, making it a year is kind of a big deal...still, not really. I expect to go out or have a "date night" on year anniversaries, but nothing over the top, wedding anniversaries will be the same for me...I think every 5 years it might be big date or small trip or something, but its not an exact date anyway.
And you shouldnt expect guys to remember 6 month anniversaries for sure, remind them when it gets closer to a year.
If this sounds grouchier than I mean it....sorry, I havent had my coffee yet.
I agree with the poster above who said that if it's important to you, you should do some planning yourself. Like Rach, I've never really known when my relationships actually started, and I doubt my past boyfriends knew either. It's not unreasonable to want to celebrate a 6 month anniversary, especially if you are younger and haven't had very long relationships before. But I think that it's hard to expect the guy to remember given how fuzzy it can all be. Short of planning it all out yourself, perhaps you could make a passing comment like, "Wow, can you believe in 2 weeks it'll be 6 months?" Maybe that's not very subtle, but let's be honest, no one benefits from a game of "read my mind."
If anniversaries are a big deal for you, that is perfectly fine. You are more than entitled to feel that way. I don't, personally, but I get that people do...
If that is the case, YOU are responsible for making it happen. You cannot assume that the person you are with is on the same page, regarding these events. And, if they are trying to celebrate for the sole purpose of making you happy, cut them some slack if they're bad at it.
Give then a month in advance to pull it together... weekly reminders leading up to the event, if necessary. Set a budget for gifts. Make the plans and only ask them to give their opinion on what goes down once... maybe twice. Since it matter more to YOU, you are the one who gets to plan.
My first boyfriend was always getting mad at me because I kept forgetting the "anniversaries" and how long we were going out and so on. I was having fun (or trying to anyway) so it really didn't matter to me how long it had lasted, it mattered more to me that it was still fun. I would have been upset if he had forgotten my birthday (of course he didn't), but other than that I'm pretty laid-back about the whole thing. Unless you've known me for years and still don't know when my birthday is OR how old I am.
Is this more of a guy's way of thinking than a girl's? To me, how long we've been going out is indicative of when we considered ourselves bf/gf, not when we first started to date.
Or maybe I'm just an odd duck.
i'm guilty. I can't even remember birthdays,holidays(unless i'm getting something out of it all) and definiteley can't remeber anivesaries.
-a sufferer of CRS