It would be naïve of me to say different parts of the country, nay, a state or single town don't come equipped with their own flavor and unique way of life. In fact, because of this fact, some of us leave our homes specifically seeking new flavors. Others consciously stay home because the flavor they were raised on tastes so right. You seem to be missing the home cooking of your men. Perhaps you've moved to the northeast for work opportunities and feel like a fish out of Nebraska on the dating scene in shark territory. I can understand that. It takes time to acclimate to the flow of dating in different parts of the country.
I will say, however, that the northeast is a pretty big swath of land. Where and how exactly are you meeting this army of anal uptights? I mean, sh*t, as long as we're stereotyping, aside from geography, careers seem to produce/attract types as well. Let me ask you this: Who would you say would more likely be anal and uptight? A Brooklyn based yoga instructor or the CEO of Ameriprise Financial Inc. located in sweet Minnesota? A Plattsburgh, NY based veterinarian or, I don't know, a club promoter at Wet Club in Chicago?
You see it takes more than a zip code to determine a man's YIKENESS. It takes an understanding of what they are to determine who they are. My suggestion is keep an open mind. Expand the venues where you're meeting men. I have a feeling this rash of North East anal duds, these YIKESters, are all floating in the same bar scene or career pool. If all else fails set your online dating zip for Midwest USA and commiserate over the inherent ills of The Northeast together!
Having lived in New England all my life, I feel the need to step in and defend our men. There are a huge number of incredibly good, kind, smart, and all around awesome men up here. But people from the Northeast are, in general, NOT as outgoing or friendly as people from other parts of the country-- particularly the midwest. It makes it a little harder to meet good guys sometimes, but I promise you, they are there.
As for the accent, you never know. Rhotacism might grow on you after a while.
Having lived in New England all my life, I feel the need to step in and defend our men. There are a huge number of incredibly good, kind, smart, and all around awesome men up here. But people from the Northeast are, in general, NOT as outgoing or friendly as people from other parts of the country-- particularly the midwest. It makes it a little harder to meet good guys sometimes, but I promise you, they are there.
As for the accent, you never know. Rhotacism might grow on you after a while.
I'm a Midwesterner, and I will say that our men are decidedly not showy. They're not interested in where you went to school, what kind of car you drive, what designer labels you wear, or anything like that, if that makes sense. The rules here are pretty simple... look your best, don't be afraid to have fun, and don't get too carried away.
As a Vermonter who lived out in the midwest for several years (and NJ, NY, & CT), the men in the NorthEast are... crisper. They are all pretty grounded but laid back and easy going are not their strong suits. It's pretty hardscrabble out here. Whether it's the men who make a living using their hands or men who only use their minds, the opposition they face is stiff. The weather tends to be less cooperative, the land is hard to work with, and the best minds in the world come here to learn and compete. Ivy league and MIT, nor'easters and granite, they tend to keep one from being laid back.
I must admit, I didn't like many of the men I met in Illinois. They were ...slow (as in snail) and soft. There were exceptions, but I had to make the effort to seek them out. I did all the things I always liked doing, I found fun places with music I liked, and let men buy me drinks.
We NEers aren't all bad, just different. Good luck!
Yup. That helps.
I'm a New Yorker(Long Island) born and raised and I agree with Maggie. Northeast men just have different standards (not better, not worse, just different). Unfortunately those of us who grew up in more urban areas of the North East have a somewhat skewed view of people from the Midwest/South [cough: hillbillies:cough]. Not saying that generalization is cool but you need to know that it exists.
This might be one of the reason's why they seem uptight and anal to you. some guys might hear where you come from or ask about your accent and draw up the stereotype in their minds. Also people from the North East tend to not be as friendly and open as other parts of the country. I know it still surprises when I travel to other parts of the country and cashiers and waitress' try to have conversations with me.
Keep on being your lovely Midwestern self and expand your current dating pool by hanging out at different places. Maybe you can find a bar/onine group of people who are also from the Midwest. Good luck and keep an open, mind. North East guys aren't bad, just give them time to warm up to you.
Northeast or Midwest at least you have men who for the most part tend to act their age. I live on the West Coast, Los angeles to be exact, and men think they're younger than they really are. :/
Funny question to answer. I'm in the desert southwest and men here exemplify the machismo principle. I'm an old maid at 29; I'm "different" because I'm 29 with no kids, never married and a college degree. Men here look for a woman [young] to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Funny that I tend to pick up men who move here from out of state. HA!
@ Betty Crocker: Ugghh, that's horrible. Are these mainly Mexican men you're referring to? I didn't realize 29 year old women were considered "old maids" by Southwestern standards. LOL! I'm 26 and don't plan on getting married until I'm well over 30.
South Florida (Miami/Broward/Boca) has it's share of dating troubles as well. Men aren't as sexist when it comes to age and labeling women "old maids". In fact, it's common to see older women with younger men. And divorced women with kids have no stigma against them (or at least no more than a divorced man with kids).
But people here are extremely SHALLOW and SUPERFICIAL and very image-obsessed. It's common for people (especially men) to drive cars they can't even afford while living in small little houses or even apartments in ugly neighborhoods.
People also pride themselves on being fun-loving yet stupid. You're seen as WEIRD if you read the newspaper, watch National Geographic or political commentary shows. It's like ignorance is supposed to be cool.
People here also have an "I'm cool so I need to have an attitude" type of mentality. It's considered geeky to be nice or polite. You have to be standoffish and rude. I can spot a guy from Miami from miles away because of this attitude. LOL
I'm attracted to guys who come to live here from Central and Northern Florida (which are like different planets compared to South Florida). And I also really like other Southern men such as from North Carolina. They are so nice and down to earth and free from all the Miami B.S.
I think dating in North Carolina must be so easy compared to South Florida because the guys I've met from there who have moved down here are awesome. Makes me jealous of NC girls.