Without seeming rude? To the guy who blew you off for two different dates? I don't think there's anything you could do or say to him that would be more rude than that. What a butt-munch. But you already know this.
I'm all for being nice to people but you owe this guy nothing. He has a lot of nerve to think you'd give him another chance to leave you hanging. His ego must be off the charts. Did he even call you after his no-show? What planet is this guy from?
You're right, though, he won't go away until you tell him what's what, so give it to him straight, but don't give him the satisfaction of your indignation. I'd just say something simple like, "Sorry, not interested. Never will be. Stop contacting me," and leave it at that.
This should be the end of it, but if he persists, reply again and mention words like stalking and police and restraining order. If he continues to bug you after that, go to the police. Yes, I'm serious. This guy sounds like a psycho. Shut him down.
Oh, and tell your friend not to fix you up on any more dates.
Excellent reply! I love the tags---hilarious and quite appropriate. HA HA HA HA HA! :-D
Good advice, Cary. Sometimes it takes a good shake to remind us girls that no, we don't have to be nice to everybody all the time. It's the way we're socialized. Not many things are worse than being labeled a bitch.
Excellent advice Cary! Jude also made a great point, sometimes we don't have to be polite.
Cary,
Thanks for the tap on the noggin (that sounded dirtier than I meant it) and the boost of self-esteem. I thought the question was kind of silly when I asked it, but your answer was a GREAT reminder that if this douche nozzle/jackhole/loser can't stone up and show up for a date HE asked for, he isn't worth my time.
You gave great advice, and to the commenters, thanks for the reminder that I don't have to be nice to a narcissist/psycho/punk who can't take a hint that his behavior is unattractive AND unacceptable.
Cary, I sent the text *exactly* as you wrote it. I'll let you know if the stalker/twat/wankstain (hee hee, wansktain!) responds, but honestly, I don't think he has the balls. Though I'm one to talk, I wouldn't have had the nerve to send it if the words hadn't come from you.
Thanks for helping me get rid of this idiot -- who TOTALLY forgot I have a black belt in tae kwon do... (duh, I could kick his ass if I cared to) Even my friend said he was calling her at crazy hours of the night-- while she was with her boyfriend.
I'm actually really glad I sent it now -- I've been tired of this asswipe for too long to let it go another minute. I think he's gotten away with enough that someone needed to put him in his place. And to stop giving all you good guys a bad name. :)
P.S. The tags -- hilarious! TOTALLY made asking the question worth it. :-D
Excellent, all the way across the board!
>Jude - being labelled a bitch should be a badge of honour; as in Boys I'm Taking Charge Here.
PJWB:
AWESOME! I'm sharing that with all my friends!
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How do I get him to stop without seeming rude?
-Azure
When you tell him to "very kindly fuck himslef with a rusty butter knife", don't spit in his face.
Civil as he deserves anyway....
"When you tell him to "very kindly fuck himslef with a rusty butter knife", don't spit in his face."
You have NO idea how apropos this is. The friend who introduced us was always threatening to cut someone with a rusty razor and he offered to provide it...