He isn't exactly being fair to you there. Your question raises some questions of my own I'd want answering.
Is he getting out and meeting other people? If so, is he dating? Nothing wrong with that and kinda sensible for a divorced guy to do, but you should know if he is.
Are you dating anyone on the side? If not, why not? Life doesn't stop just cause a guy goes moody on you.
Is he a good man? Self evident.
Do you look forward to his call every day? No contact is difficult if you are hovering by the phone every evening.
I figure he is telling the truth and just needs some space to get his head straight and recover some of his self respect while still keeping in touch with you as his emotional safety net.
Try going no contact for a week or so and see what happens. At the very least it will allow you both to look at your feelings for each other. Then you can decide.
Thanks MM...very very thoughtful response...as you typically dish out.
I know he's getting out there, and based on a couple things he has said, I assume he's had a couple generic "coffee dates", but nothing established.
You're right..I need to go NC...hard, but necessary. (Haven't heard from him for 2 days since I told him it's confusing when he calls every day with the same warm/loving convo like nothing's changed but doesn't want to see me. I asked how can this physical space, but daily phone chat REALLY help you with space? He said "well, even though we're not dating, we're still friends". (Yuk). I said I didn't want to have us fall into the dreaded phone buddy zone completely, so we should at least see each other every now and then to keep the emotional connection. Not sure he's ready for that (he hemmed and hawed)....so YES, I'll have to take my co-dependent hat off, and (figuratively speaking) grow a pair, for my own well being.
Love the tags, BTW. Him: damaged goods....ME: getting my mojo back!
But WTH is the final frontier.....dating?
TY. :)
Read the last two tags together :)
And good on you for the common sense - which ain't all that common.
"These are the voyages. . ."
He wants to play the field a bit; fair enough. But that doesn't meen he gets to keep you on ice! I can see what he's up to; I'm ashamed to say that i've done the same thing myself. Frankly, it boils down to this: he needs to shit or get off the pot.
I'm gonna reach out on a limb, and say he's feeling confused right now. Undoubtedly, he cares about you, but he's probably just not sure if its the caring of a solid friendship or something more. I applaud MM's suggestion you guys give yourself a week, it might take just that long for him to sort his feelings. And by rights, you should date other men, there's no need to be hanging if he's not giving definitive vibes. Gives you time to sort through yours too. No need to go full blown commitment with anyone immediately, but if you guys do decide to get together, you'll be prepared, but at the same time, you'll be living your life too.