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Mystery Man

 
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MM you give brutal but candid, honest answers which I appreciate. I really like this guy I work with and want to tell him how I feel but am not sure how to do it without coming across as crazy, desparate, and awkward (Don't worry- I've already been warned about getting involved with someone at work). Any ideas?

OK. There is a part of the body you need here, located between your nose and your chin. It is not only used for decorating with lipstick and oral sex, it also makes noises too, as a rudimentary form of communication.

JUST TELL HIM, ALREADY!

March up to him, open your pie hole, and say "Want to have lunch?" Or breakfast, if you are feeling particularly brazen. There is no guy on Earth who doesn't find a woman asking him out to be flattering as hell. No desperation, no crazy. Just flattery. Sure, it is slightly emasculating that you have the courage to ask and he doesn't - so additional flattery where appropriate may be needed. Commenting favorably on his strength, his smarts, or his size, if you get my meaning, works very well indeed.

On the getting involved with someone at work thing - about half of all relationships start that way. As long as he isn't your boss, and, more importantly, you are not his boss, it should be fine.

So stop messing around. You want to be happy? Grab a thimble and scrape up all your courage. Ask him. The worst that happens is he says no.

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7 Comments

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Haha well thanks for that. But I guess I should have clarified that I already did ask this guy out and we had dated for a little bit before it 'fizzled' for lack of a better word. Normally I know this means the guy's not interested or whatever and I'd just move on, but he had showed all the signs of being interested (including kissing me goodnight) before all of a sudden disappearing from my life (outside of work). Trust me, I know how to tell if a guy is just not into me. So now, being the over-thinking girl that I am, I can't move on until I know what happened. So now I guess my question is more like, "How do I confront him about it?" Rather than "How do I ask a guy out?"...although I suppose your answer won't change either way anyway.

Mystery Man

Hmmm ....

Your first question was not your real question. Very feminine. But, OK, I'll bite just this once. I am snowed in with little else to do.

Do you really need to know why? Maybe you two got some signals crossed. Maybe you left it too late and he found someone else - that happens. Guys don't switch themselves off when they are not with you, and most guys who are in the first stages of actively looking (for a relationship, not sex) don't confine themselves to dating one gal.

Sure, you can ask him why. Again, that's what your mouth is for. But it'll probably not make you happy.

Chalk it up to experience and move on.

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This second answer was more helpful, i just went on 2 dates with a guy and we had a blast! he talked about going out again a lot but at the end of the second date he just gave me a peck! i was shocked thats all he tried for! Now im wondering if he is dating someone else too and didn't wanna get physical with me? i hate making excuses for guys bc shouldn't it always just come down to, guess they were not that into me?

Mystery Man

You a woman or a mouse?

Get out there and let him know this bullcrap is not acceptable. If he is shy - fair enough - otherwise he puts up, or you shut him up.

Dang kids - no pride these days ....

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haha you mean go for it and jump his bones so to speak? he isn't shy at all and he told my coworker he thought i was hot, we kissed a bit on our first date so i was expecting more on the second. Since the second date he has asked me to hang out 2 more times but went mia both times. Am i chasing him if i ask him out again? or should i let him contact me? ( keep in mind our second date was a hockey game which i payed for) I would love to just say hey i like you lets date but i don't wanna look like an idiot..

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Dang kids. Really ! MM you must be in ur late 30's early 40's .But you do give good advice to be a old guy :)

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