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Mr scary smiling hat. My guy is seriously turning me off with his enthusiasm. He calls too much, compliments me too much, everything too much. I'm terrified I'll lose interest, because I really like him. Tell him, but how? Only known him for a month, two weeks of which he's been away for work. In a week he's back.

You his first serious gal? Or has he had a badly failed relationship and is now trying not to screw this one up? Or he simply a writhing mass of insecurity? How the devil should I know, never met the guy.
If it is the first one, you'll just have to grit your teeth for a bit until the lovestruck puppy behaviour fades. The second, you can talk it out. The third, run.

Either way, the guy is trying to make sure you don't forget him while he is away. Annoying, yes, but an understandable mistake this early on.

Since one of you has to be adult, just tell him to tone it down a little bit, starting with the calls. He doesn't need to be calling or texting you 50 times a day once he gets back. You could also try not answering the phone once in a while for the next week. Setting your cell to silent mode and letting calls roll to voicemail is a handy way to get a little peace and quiet. After all, there is no law saying you have to answer the phone. People forget that.
The other benefit of letting some calls roll to voicemail is it lets you hear his response to being ignored. That can tell you a lot about a guy's (or gal's) temperment and approach to relationships.

Wouldn't complain overmuch about the compliments though, those are usually nice to get and will become vanishingly rare very quickly indeed.

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7 Comments

Tariana

"Mr. Scary Smiling Hat" -> The best, by far, among the attention grabbing-opening statements for questions to date. =D

user-pic

Agreed! Funniest opener so far lol

Mia

Heheheheheheh I was thinking the exact same thing..

Toy Honey Lung

Now I can't see MM's pic without seeing the Mr. Scary Smiling hat!!!

chrissie1101

the guy i am seeing compliments me a lot too, and it has unnerved me because i'm just not used to it. my friends keep telling me "enjoy it, you deserve it!" so i am, mind you i dont have the constant contact thing it probably would unnerve me even more if so. but the suggestion to watch his reaction when he goes to voicemail is a very good one. if he calls while i am on a deadline or something, i love getting his long chatty voicemails "call me whenevers" after work. if he were calling once, twice, thrice, and getting more voicemail agitated as it went along, that would be a different story. you probably just have one of those super nice guys we all dream about and he is concerned the business thing may make you forget him like MM said. not only do we forget we dont have to pick up the phone every time, we also forget that guys are human too and they also have their own insecurities. my gut is he just wants to hear from you, and wants you to know he, out of all the guys in the world, thinks your beautiful. and it could be worse. your question could be the one millions of women are asking themselves right now "why isnt he calling?"

Jlove

Perfect response chrissie!

user-pic

I think too many compliments can be a problem because they just stop sounding sincere after a while. This one guy who liked me was always complimenting my clothes. Litterally every time I saw him he'd compliment my shirt, my coat, or my style in general. It was nice at first, but then it just started to seem like he was sucking up in an effort to get me to like him more (I mean honestly, the majority of my shirts were really ordinary, and what kind of guy likes plain cotton shirts THAT much?). Kind of turned me off.
I guess, though, if you actually like the guy it would seem sweet and less.. annoying.

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