Well, I got news for you: you're already in a relationship. You spend all your time together, hook up, live together, and now have feelings for each other. Put whatever label you want on it, but that sounds like a relationship to me (or at least the beginning of one).
So why not own up to it and be a couple? Are you worried about a label killing the excitement? Is that preferable to being in this nebulous grey area netherworld, and have to be jealous when you see him with someone else? And if he's not seeing other people, what's the trouble in just saying you're a couple? You already live together. If you continue in the "friends with benefit" zone, things are inevitably going to turn sour, or at the very least, seriously awkward.
Yeah, he might just want to keep it on a physical, "FWB" level. But it seems beyond that point now. Either he needs to nut up and realize he is basically in a relationship, or scale things back to being friends before he hurts you. Otherwise, he's a tool and you should move out.
At some point you're going to have to address this couple-but-not-a-couple thing you guys are in. I imagine your friends think of you like a couple, particularly if you're spending all your time together. Now, while it's difficult to speculate on your living situation, going from being friends who live together and occasionally hook up to a straight-up couple-y couple will definitely change things. You might suddenly realize that living together so soon doesn't feel right. And that's okay: maybe it's time to consider a different living arrangement that is more conducive to your new relationship.
Whatever you decide, I think the "friends with benefits" days might be over. Once feelings come into play, it's pretty hard to keep up that facade. And living together puts you at a huge disadvantage in terms of, if I can channel my inner Matthew McConaughey for a moment, "keepin' it cas, bro-heim." Because you don't want to be that couple who is clearly together for years and years, but acts like they're just friends who also occasionally have "naked fun time."
So why not own up to it and be a couple? Are you worried about a label killing the excitement? Is that preferable to being in this nebulous grey area netherworld, and have to be jealous when you see him with someone else? And if he's not seeing other people, what's the trouble in just saying you're a couple? You already live together. If you continue in the "friends with benefit" zone, things are inevitably going to turn sour, or at the very least, seriously awkward.
Yeah, he might just want to keep it on a physical, "FWB" level. But it seems beyond that point now. Either he needs to nut up and realize he is basically in a relationship, or scale things back to being friends before he hurts you. Otherwise, he's a tool and you should move out.
At some point you're going to have to address this couple-but-not-a-couple thing you guys are in. I imagine your friends think of you like a couple, particularly if you're spending all your time together. Now, while it's difficult to speculate on your living situation, going from being friends who live together and occasionally hook up to a straight-up couple-y couple will definitely change things. You might suddenly realize that living together so soon doesn't feel right. And that's okay: maybe it's time to consider a different living arrangement that is more conducive to your new relationship.
Whatever you decide, I think the "friends with benefits" days might be over. Once feelings come into play, it's pretty hard to keep up that facade. And living together puts you at a huge disadvantage in terms of, if I can channel my inner Matthew McConaughey for a moment, "keepin' it cas, bro-heim." Because you don't want to be that couple who is clearly together for years and years, but acts like they're just friends who also occasionally have "naked fun time."
why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free?
peace.
Word.
Because then you don't have to share the cow with all the other farmers?
Nice
Had one of my friends been in the same situation i probably would've given them the same advice.. However the one time i did indicate that i want more than just the "benefiting", he said that we probably shouldn't continue the physical part of this because he doesn't think of me more than a friend and doesn't want to mess up the friendship.. But within the next week we hooked up again and continued for the next couple of months.
Now i've had to relocate for 5-6 months and we'll be completely apart in that time. He's an extremely practical person and knew that i would be leaving for this long when we had that conversation.. Do you think it's more likely that he didn't want to commit because of this separation, or because he just didn't want to commit to me? Would a guy continue to hook up for this long with someone he's so close to without developing feelings or do you think he can just be in it for the benefits part with a close friend?
Im in the same situation. Although, this guy says that he doesnt want a title because he is in the public spotlight at our university and that he doesnt have time for a relationship yet we spend all the time together and he treats me like we are together. Ive met his parents and his friends and everything. Ive made it clear to him that I have feelings for him and that being just FWB is cool for now because I dont need complicated and that if someone else comes along Im not gonna hesitate but that sooner or later its gonna have to change one way or another and he agreed. He said he does have feelings for me but that he cant have a gf till he graduates in June. I know it sounds really bad but I truly feel like he wants to be with me but has been hurt in the past and doesnt want that to happen again. He has shown me many times that he cares for me more than just FWB and I know hes not a player but I still feel like Im missing something. Im not sure if I should just be patient and see what it leads too or what to do.
I think a guy needs to answer this question - i actually think each guy here should
Can a guy in a FWB situation - that if you ask other people they may describe it as a relationship (spending all your time together, cuddling, sleeping together, goin out together, etc...) - not develop feelings over time?
I think it's possible - but how probable? men aren't emotionless beings so I give them credit that they may develop feelings but what of guys who are still hooked on an ex or enjoying singledom with the benefits from a steady (i mean it's safer & until they find the relationship they want it should be fun)
You HAVE to do something about it because if you do chose to date someone then you're going to have to introduce your new guy to your guy friend and explain that you guys hooked up,.... and live together = awkwardness. Either move out or become a couple.