If by "fianceé", you mean women he is pledging to spend the rest of his life with then I totally feel you. The nerve of that cad to care more about the feelings of his soon-to-be wife than of his best friend of 9 years.
Some guys totally suck.
You're joking right? If you don't get along with the woman he's expecting to live with forever, why do you think he's obligated to choose you over her? Hate to say it, when it comes to female friends, its pretty much her way or the highway after they're married and that's something you'll have to live with. I realize that you'd prefer that your best friend stick up for you and say that he's not willing to lose you, but it would either happen by force or attrition. At some point all those trips you two would take or the parties you'd hit all willy nilly at midnight would go the way of Conan O'Brien's night job anyway. While you'd always be his friend, your role would decrease anyway.
Fact is, you're being unreasonable.
Now, it's not lost on me that you put "fianceé" in quotes, so perhaps he's just running around calling her that, which almost has the same effect of it being actually true, which means, again, that you're being unreasonable. You want your friend, and that's fair, but you have to realize that dude made a decision. She's not just some chick and you just have to live with the fact that you got big leagued.
It is what it is and it will be. Que sera, sera.
It was written.
No worries! Slip on your lavender maid-of-honor dress and head to the wedding. Wait for the Dionne Warwick song to come on. You'll be dancing laughingly with your gay sidekick in no time.
Oh Panameño! I agree with you..completely. Your response was mine..she's GOT to be kidding. Granted, it's a bummer that rather than saying he will have to see less of you he is writing you off altogether. That's kind of cold...but those are her wishes..
Bottom line: Be honest, you would expect your boyfriend to oblige, too..
I dont blame her for being mad. I mean yes they are friends, but at the same time he has only known this chick for not even a year and is dedicating his life to her. I have always put my friends first, if my boyfriend, fiance, of husband does not like them then he doesnt have to be friends with them, but I will stay maintain a friendship with them and he will just have to understand that. To me it sounds like his "fiance" is not even being reasonable about the whole situation, 9 years is a long time friendship that you just dont walk away from. Chicka, if he wants to throw that friendship away then maybe you two really werent friends!
I dont blame her for being mad. I mean yes they are friends, but at the same time he has only known this chick for not even a year and is dedicating his life to her. I have always put my friends first, if my boyfriend, fiance, of husband does not like them then he doesnt have to be friends with them, but I will stay maintain a friendship with them and he will just have to understand that. To me it sounds like his "fiance" is not even being reasonable about the whole situation, 9 years is a long time friendship that you just dont walk away from. Chicka, if he wants to throw that friendship away then maybe you two really werent friends!
^^i agree completely. It doesn't matter WHO she is, you don't have a say in who your man is friends with. He's a big boy! I would NEVER tell my man who he can or cannot be friends with. It's not my place!
I can't believe this "fiance" is doing that!! What a terrible, terrible fate that poor man is going to suffer if is he willing to allow her to make all his decisions for him and not even allow him to keep in contact with a friend who he's known for almost a DECADE!
I say take the ring back and send that overpowering, obviously insecure and selfish woman packing. And keep your friends that have shown you a decade of loyalty!!!
Maybe it's time to try to befriend the fiancee. Go out for coffee or something.
This happens a lot to me because I have a lot of male friends, but once the girl realizes that I have no romantic interest in her man, often she and I become friends too (occasionally we'll stay friends even after my guy friend breaks up with her!)
On the other hand, this won't work if you're secretly in love with your best friend. Be honest with yourself. Are you this angry just because of some control freak, or angry that she succeeded where you failed???
i agree with ya p.j. when you marry someone you choose them over everyone else