I've never seen the list of relationship rules for gay people, but I'm willing to bet that they don't include having your face pounded in by your boyfriend.
Gay or straight, abuse is abuse. If you want him to hit you again, stick around, because he will. Otherwise, end it. He has issues.
Yes, good men are hard to find; dumping this loser is the first step to finding one.
I totally agree Cary. Gay or not, abuse is abuse and him hitting you cannot be tolerated. Go with your instincts, if you would tell anyone else to leave, then leave. I hope you find the strength to leave him and strength to find new friends. Because a real friend would tell you leave, and nothing else.
I wish the best for you!
Completely agree with the answer, just wanted to point something out.
The fact that he stopped hitting and started crying.
This still means that the relatiosnhip is unhealthy and the abused needs to get out, now. But it also points to underlying issues that the abuser needs to deal with. It says to me that he felt bad for hitting his boyfriend. And no, that doesn't excuse anything. I just know what it feels like to explode and then feel enormously guilty afterwards.
The abuser doesn't just hurt the abused. In reality, they hurt themselves too.
I think this guy is crying out for help, even if he doesn't know it.
And yeah, your answer is more than adequate. This is just something that struck me.
I agree, to a point. Yes, the guy needs help, and crying shows that he has a conscience and a healthy dose of self-loathing. But Anon still needs to leave. My uncle used to cry after he beat his kids, but that didn't stop him from doing it again and again and again.
I also agree that we all lose our cool sometimes and feel guilty afterward, but yelling or slamming a door isn't quite the same as hitting someone repeatedly.
.........thanks for the reality check.
Just leave him bro, you'll be better off by yourself for a little while that with him not knowing if/when he's going to blow again. A nice guy isn't made just from his happy loving moments, it's everything he does - someone who hits you is, by definition, not a "good guy".
This rule works the same for everyone: if you're being mistreated and/or your physical safety is endangered, just get out.
The rules aren't any different for gay people. You don't hit people. It's that simple.
The rules are different for gay people? Then are they different for black people? Are they different for hispanic people? Then what are the "RULES" that you speak of and to whom do they apply? Who made up these rules?? Do you realize now how RIDICUOUS this is? It's called respect. Stand up for yourself.
I'm gay. The rules are not different. Get out, now.
"i like him a lot and it's not that easy finding a good guy"
Yes, it is. And from the sounds of it, you still haven't found one. This guy has serious problems and you need to get out of that situation. There are help lines if you need them. I hope you find a guy that will treat you with respect, gay or not.
Why are you, a homosexual man, friends with such homophobic dickbags?