This is totally normal. Stupid, yes, but it happens all the time.
It is bad enough when one of a couple is going to school in a different state, but military is always much, much worse.
You both have the early stages of separation anxiety, the dread that being physically separated will change or destroy your relationship. Understandable.
He has the performance jitters, on top of that. Boot is no cakewalk. It's probably the first real test of his self worth as a man that he has had, and no guy is ever sure he is ready for that. He is scared he'll screw it up, losing everyone's respect. He's scared that you'll find another guy while he is away. Not that he'll admit to being scared!
So he'll be a bit snappish at times, a bit thoughtless, maybe slightly more aggressive. And with you getting worked up about the separation, you respond in kind, and magnify little things into full blown fights.
One of you is going to have to chill out a bit to stop these fights, and this time, I am afraid, it is going to have to be you. I know you have your fears and needs, but you will still have your family and friends with you when he goes away.
You have to set the tone. Let him know clearly and frequently that you love him and respect what he is doing. Be his support system - he really needs one right now, and will desperately need one while he is actually away! Give him something to help him get over the hump, and someone that he will be keen to come home to!
It shouldn't be too difficult, now you know why, to keep a lid on your temper these next two weeks. And, lets face it. He is going to boot. The one big separation worry you don't have is that he'll find another woman while he is away. He'll be far too exhausted for anything more than sleep.
Finally, congratulate him for me. Going military deserves, and gets, my profound respect.
good answer MM;
take heed to this advice writer, as it is very good!
you will need to be his support system while he is is boot camp, and trust me, it will go by far faster than you might think!
and i know from experience, i served our country for 11 years, boot camp was hard but it was alot easier with my support system back home. :)
good answer MM;
take heed to this advice writer, as it is very good!
you will need to be his support system while he is is boot camp, and trust me, it will go by far faster than you might think!
and i know from experience, i served our country for 11 years, boot camp was hard but it was alot easier with my support system back home. :)
Great answer. It's normal to get upset and feel like you aren't getting along right before he leaves.
It's very important that you support him thru boot camp. When my bf of 3 months left for his 3-month-long boot camp, I wrote to him every day. It was what kept him going and kept our relationship going. He might be too busy to write back, but know that it's always appreciated.
Take it from a military wife of 12 years: that is normal. What MM might not know is that fighting before a separation (or deployment) is a form of distancing yourselves for the prolonged separation. Also, the reunion is wonderful, BUT... it is much, much harder than you would think to reacquaint yourself with your love. You will fight like cats and dogs until you get used to each other again, which might take weeks. Best of luck to you!