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Mystery Man

 
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My bf is perfect. But a slight problem: he has never taken me out to eat (anywhere), has never offered to pay for anything (ever), and never gives me things. I always give him gifts and would LOVE if he would just once just OFFER to pay (not actually pay, just offer!) or give me small gifts like I give him. Help me?

I know Cary answered this before me. I saw that after I hit publish. You ever just had one of those days?

I had to read this four times to even begin to comprehend the full, awful truth that someone actually wrote this question.

Are you totally freaking brain dead, or merely clinically insane?

Your definition of the perfect boyfriend is so far from the generally accepted one that I am going to assume you are, in fact, an alien who has been sent in disguise, to try to infiltrate and understand our culture.
We have weapons and watch for invaders, so beware, stranger.

On the off chance you are actually human though: Wake the f*ck up!

You are being used, plain and simple. That is not acceptable. Ever. The tightwad shapes up or gets kicked out.

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13 Comments

Jlove

Sorry to break it to you girlfriend, but he's just not that into you. (Sorry I had too.) He likes the free gifts, free dinners, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say free sex too. Dump him, now! Before you are left heartbroken and with an empty bank account.

grayeyeddame

whew... thought you were going to go in a different direction at first... totally agree with you! This sounds like my bedroom life right now unfortunately though... except rather than gifts I give I handjob and he falls asleep mid stroke on me, yet again... =( I'd rather pay for dinner and he give me foreplay but then that sounds like a whore so I'll forgo...

user-pic

Jesus MM, that was harsh!

Mystery Man

Thank you.

Evi

MM you're the Man! thanks for making me laugh out loud with your honest to goodness answer!

Mystery Man

Makes me think, sometimes, when the Wise ass is gentler than me.

Meh - he has his way, I got mine,

Cary McNeal

I'm on my period and feeling a bit emotional. Otherwise I might have answered like you, MM.

Mystery Man

Oh. Does this mean I have to bring you flowers again?

Cary McNeal

Not this time. Just knowing that you're thinking of me is enough.

Bibonoshoes

This guy is using you from head to toe (and especially from heart, hand and mouth).
This kind of guy only takes, and never gives back. Or he would have given you back from the very beginning.
A perfect guy DOES pay (not offer, PAY, without even letting you the time get your purse) when you go out, take you to his favourite places, get you things he knows you like (or thinks he knows).
Your "man" may be perfect at bed, very tender, smart, funny, etc, etc, but he's a swindler.

Do you and your bank account a favor: dump him. There are REALLY perfect men out there. And he's not one of them.

user-pic

Wait! This is a joke question, right? No woman would ACTUALLY call a cheapskate douchelord 'perfect' now would they??? Whoever posted this probably wants to see what type of answers they get in return...right? Hello? Maybe?

Mystery Man

Sadly, no.

Get questions like this all the time.

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