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My BF recently started doing some oral and digital anal activities w/ me. While I like it, there are some days when my behind feels more bathroom than bedroom - like, say, after a particularly greasy meal. How can I let him know to stay away on certain days w/out grossing him out & turning him off those deeds forever?

I find that the other hole in the body -- the mouth -- is quite an effective tool in the realm of communication. Next time your boy starts circling around your anus, and you feel grumpy in the butt, simply redirect him using your mouth to voice your feelings. "Not feeling the ass play tonight, Baby" or "Let's let the two hole rest. Its got a lot on its mind already." This verbal instruction will work.

What's more, no man wants to battle through or even have the visual of a triple-cheese quesadilla when fingering a tushie. A cranky ass should be left alone.

When it comes to any of this stuff don't be shy in communicating your needs or restrictions in bed, in the back of a Chevy or the line at CVS. Your holes depend on your mouth to protect them - do so and you will gain the respect of not only your orifices, but your partner too.

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29 Comments

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Disgusting question. SHAME. SHAME. SHAME.

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No. Shame shame shame on YOU for kink-shaming. The lady likes what she likes and asked a question about it. Don't like? Don't read.

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That's no lady. Period.

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No, shame shame SHAME on YOU for getting all uptight that someone had the nerve and class to say "gross." While I'm not going to go around telling people they shouldn't do disgusting stuff like this, because it's not my business, when you put it out there like this, damn straight I'll call it out. I have more respect for my partners than to want their tongue or fingers up my can and any guy who wants me to do that gets kicked to the curb. That's what vaginas and mouths are for.

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AMEN girlfriend. You said it.

Too many girls out there be nasty and NOW all men want that. Whats up with being a lady.

Where has sensible gone?

Where has modesty gone?

Mothers, I beg you. Be a role model. Too many hoochee mamas these days. Too many hoochee daughters.

Im scared for the future of our children, especially young girls. Who think the way to a boy's heart is to get skinny and offer the butt holes for penetration.

My. My. My.

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Why do people feel the need to demonize anything and everything that they don't agree with??? I don't get it. Why do you give a crap as to how these people get their rocks off? It's not my thing either, but I honestly couldn't care less what people do in the privacy of their own bedrooms.

What the OP did her was ask a question about how to communicate with her boyfriend on a touchy issue. She wasn't asking for Funny Guy or you or me to tell it was OK or not OK.

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Oh screw both of you. How is the ass much grosser than the vagina, where blood and mucus exits every month, or the urethra, where liquid waste comes out of? Hell, I know some guys don't even clean their urethra area after using the bathroom, yet it's okay to put your mouth on that? Here's the answer: ALL sexual activities are inherently "gross". So get your close-minded head out of YOUR ass and stop being so judgemental and, frankly, stupid. You don't want to do it? Cool. But just because the Bible or society tells you its wrong doesn't mean you have the right to call others gross for doing it when you're doing something not much different. (Just for clarification, I belive in God and grew up in a very religious home ).

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Also, the clarification was so no one could pull the "you moralless God-damned atheist" card on me, which is far from the truth. I'm just logical and open-minded.

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Also, the clarification was so no one could pull the "you moralless God-damned atheist" card on me, which is far from the truth. I'm just logical and open-minded.

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i'm not sure that engaging in anal play while in a monogamous relationship is quite the definition of "hoochee mama", but who knows, maybe all these years i've been confused.

these responses are completely ridiculous.

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I agree with melody. Ladies need to be more classy these days. Shame!

blypa

Rude.

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^agreed.

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To the lady asking the question - do not listen to these tight a@@ed women. Enjoy your bedroom life and not let anyone tell you what you should and shouldn't do. I feel sorry for the men in their lives, no fun there!

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Wow, lol. Whatever happened "to each her own" and "live and let live"? Even though it may not be your cup of tea, who are you to judge what others should and shouldn't like? If I want to be "disgusting," that's my right. Just like it's your right to not associate with me (or have sex with me). But for you to tell someone how to live is ridiculous. Live your life, and I'll live mine.

TheBMG

This is the best answer to the best question

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oooo-weeeee girl, you nasty. LOL !!!!

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Whoaaaa Nelly. All of these critics must be either over 40 or complete prudes. I mean, really. With all the nasty, dirty questions asked about things on this site, THIS is the thing you can't handle? Y'all are acting like anal play is something new, when really it's been around for millenia.

Whether he admits it or not, there's a damn good chance your guy deep down wants to do something with your butt. Sorry if that disturbs you, but I don't make the rules of human nature, I just remind people of them. Don't do it if you don't want to, but don't hate on those who are more open minded sexually.

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Dicks be in everything now. Now ears? Eye sockets??

Sad thing is, we let them do this to us ladies! Thats whats a shame!

Women, SAY NO. Dont get invaded.

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But what if I like getting invaded? ;)

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Good for you. But bad for you when youre 70 and shitting non-stop. Definitely bad for you.

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Hehe, this comment thread is comedy gold. "Ladies", don't be this jealous at the poor poster :)

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wow. so i guess i should feel shame and guilt over the fact that not only do i let my BF play with my a$$ with whatever extremity he prefers at the moment, but that i actually enjoy it too....

nope. i got nothing for ya. feel free to have my portion of guilt/shame as i seem to be missing out. *snicker*

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Just be careful of a$$-play ladies! Fun is fun, but don't go at it too much or when you get old you will pay for it. You don't want to be sh*tting your pants in the grocery store line years from now.

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You said it LOL.

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Wow. Some of you "ladies" are retarded. I bet you're all American. The prude hypocracy and righteous anger is typifying! Especially 'melody' who finds it socially acceptible to shame someone into complying with HER moral standard. Hey "lady", if you're unable to open your mind to the possibility that other people have different desires, please have the courtesy to leave them be. The world does NOT revolve around you.

Lunita

I hope these negative comments trying to shame the question asker aren't the norm now for GuySpeak. I like visiting this website because people are usually polite and non-judgemental. I hope this isn't representative of the people now on the site.

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study came out....thousands of anal sex participants were surveryed, ONLY 12% of individuals who engage in anal sex said it was enjoyable.

so....88% just do it, but dont really enjoy it.

I dont care what people do, buttahhhhhh... WOW. most people who engage in anal dont even enjoy it.

we can say this...that, blah blah blah, but statistics speak louder than our opinions.

but what i gather from this statistic is that anal sex is a pathetic practice, an act for pleasing, instead of pleasure. but you know what...do what you want to do.

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PS. I also think that Thomas Cage is the perfect person to play the role of Ben Gates along with Justin Bartha playing Riley...i also like the relationship between Ben and Abigail in the 2nd movie.

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