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My boyfriend and I just started dating but when we talk on the phone there is a lot of silence. What should I do?

Honestly, you should probably reconsider your relationship.

Everybody knows that the very beginning of a relationship is when you do the most talking about any and everything. Really, you're just looking for any excuse to be in that person's space. Toenails are fair play and can be fodder for a 3 hour 2am marathon phone session. You just so happened to see the cutest.ladybug.ever. outside today? For some reason, even THAT is interesting to new boyfriends. Because (at that point) you are new and interesting.

We'll probably even talk to you about your makeup regimen.

Maintaining radio silence early on? That is not the bee's knees. Over the course of relationships (not all, but let's assume that Robert's Rules of Order and Springer's Rules of Daytime TV apply) talking on the phone becomes less and less exciting. Frankly, most guys start to abhor it. We'd rather talk in person or leave it to small talk and check-ins. If you're at that point already, that is a big problem.

Unless of course you're dating a guy who really isn't much of a talker, but you'd already know this and wouldn't be asking this question, right? (Right?)

Fact is, if you're trying to force conversations with your new boyfriend then your relationship is probably not going to last too long. Maybe you all have a "physical connection" and can't keep your hands off one another and it just stops there. Relationships like that work great in high school when even words like "homework" are trigger words for jumping bones.

After age 18? Not so much.

So yeah, if I were you, I'd seriously consider what's making this relationship tick and determine whether or not it's actually going anywhere.

It was written.

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5 Comments

Mannon

Could be he's not much of a phone person. I'm not, and a good few of my friends aren't either. Male phone conversations are highly economical, (especially when you see a fair bit of each other in RL) and consist mostly of concise information, laced with an appropriate amount of profanity and insults (as dictated by bonds of male friendship).
That's not to say we can't do phone conversation; we can and do when it's the only way to catch up due to distance or whatever. However, if we're going to see you later anyway, chances are we're not into long phone conversations 'just because'. We'd rather talk face to face. Also, if you've already spent all day together, there's a good chance he's just run out of things to talk to you about for the moment. Don't sweat it, just don't force it.

user-pic

quit trying to keep him on the phone for six hours. hes probably being nice by not telling you to get a life and quit listening to him breathe. let him go do things so when you talk to him later he has things to talk about!

Megan

I did that in high school. I demand that you guys require the ages of the people asking the questions.

No

That's happened to me twice. Both relationships were over within 6 weeks.

user-pic

Ok, I've read all the comments above and definitley agree. But what's up with a guy who you have an 8hr IM chat with one day (work exigencies make calling a no-no) and then you don't hear from him for the next 2 days? You had a freaking great time IM-ing by the way. And then when you attempt to return the favor and chat, he either leaves you hanging mid-convo, or tells you he can't talk. But when HE wants to talk, he has no problem hitting you up. There's an obvious message here, I know. Someone point it out to me, please.

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