Right or wrong, I think your boyfriend is just doing what men do. He has a goal he wants to see through in order to feel more accomplished and get some ducks in a row before he asks for your hand in marriage. In an odd way, he's trying to make sure that he's as prepared for you as possible before you two take the plunge.
Now, that seems slightly counterintuitive to you considering that you live together but also because you're a woman. Most women I know are ready willing to marry a man on the way to being somebody because you love him regardless of where he is. For men, it doesn't work that way. Most of us don't feel comfortable marrying you when we don't have our stuff together. We feel like we need to be able to provide for you and establish a certain lifestyle for you. Being in grad school doesn't afford most of us that ability. So it's not even about you at all, it's just about where he is in life. If you don't question the commitment, rest assured that when he gets that job and feels more secure about what he's accomplished and what he's doing, he'll be ready to marry you.
Once again, while it might not make the most sense to you, it makes plenty of sense to many men out there. I completely get it. It's a man thing.
Rubbish to the women/men stuff - I'm exactly the same as the boyfriend in question. I know this is guyspeak but it's infuriating how many of these answers are "well, that's because women are like this and men are like this." And mostly, speaking entirely from personal experience, it's not like that at all. People are just people.
The rest is spot on though.
Except generally, you would be the exception, not the rule.
Every "gender" role has those who don't fit. But as a whole most of the answers on this site are the way they are because most men behave that way.
Shoot, the reason this site exists is because most men are a "certain way".
So don't take offense to it, simply revel in your uniqueness! :)
PJ- do you think this applies to divorce too? Aside from what someone is told he SHOULD do (by his friends or therapist or whatever), do you think there is also a real natural hesitation on a guy's part to jump into a relationship before getting his emotional/new single life ducks in a row?
Yes!! I totally love this because I am in a similar situation and it makes sense now! Haha
Yes!! I totally love this because I am in a similar situation and it makes sense now! Haha