Hmmm... my now ex-boyfriend got me lottery tickets for Christmas, what a joke. I put serious thought, effort, and love into his present and he stopped at a 7-11 on the way over to my house and got me lottery tickets. Did i mention he's an ex now... hahahaha!

Yes, it is disappointing, and it hurts when someone you care about completely ignores you on a day that you consider to be special, whether it is a personal day like a birthday or anniversary, or a holiday celebrated by many like Christmas or Valentine's Day. It makes you feel taken for granted and as if, perhaps, you aren't as important to him as he is to you.

Celebrating those milestones together is a way of reminding each other that you care. If those special days are blown off as no big deal, he is being lazy or careless about tending to the relationship, in my opinion. Successful relationships require both parties paying attention to those little details and taking the time and making the effort to make sure the one you care about knows that you think he or she is special. Having no money for a gift is a flimsy excuse that doesn't hold up as Cary pointed out.

Being able to accept and forgive your partner's shortcomings is important to a relationship too, though. No matter how hard we try to do the right thing, everyone fails sometime along the way. This time around he may have messed up, but next time around, you may be the one who is in need of forgiveness. It's good to keep that in mind.

Perhaps he has other qualities or makes you feel special in other ways that make up for this lack of attention to details on special occasions, but only you can decide whether this is important enough to you to be a deal breaker as far as continuing the relationship goes.

I don't agree...Christmas presents for the most part to me are for children. The reality is, Christmas is a day to celebrate the birth of Christ.

However, if he's doing this with a birthday or if its just his constant thoughtlessness then yes. I would say he's not putting in the effort.

My boyfriend was out of work at Xmas the first year we were together and he still got me gifts - nothing extravagant but I never expected anything.

I agree, he should have done something. For my last birthday we were completely broke since we'd just moved into a more expensive apartment, so my hubby made me a birthday card and made dinner for me. It was super cheap and really sweet. Not having money is no excuse.

I agree w/ Vee. Kids come first and foremost. I wouldn't be complaining so much since he has a boy and take pride in knowing you found a guy that gives a damn about his kid(s). And I'm sorry isn't the whole idea of Christmas is better to give than receive. Why couldn't you shower him w/ whatever you deem appropriate and relish in the idea of him being so greatful? I mean to me having him mean so much to you that'd make me feel tons better knowing I made him feel better, and didn't give a damn what he could or could not do for me in return. I'm sure that would have come back 3 fold when he does get back on his feet.

I submitted this question and i really appreciate all the feedback they really opened my eyes. he is still my BF and I showered him with tons of gifts and gifts for his son. He has been very appreciative. thanks again for the feedback!! :)

While I agree that his son is the first priority, I agree with Cary that you should not have been stiffed. I'm sure your boyfriend could've scrounged up ten bucks and done something creative. Maybe even something like a little ornament to mark your 1st Christmas together.

Anyway... if he treats you well otherwise, I'd just let him know that in the future any small gift would've been appreciated. But if he doesn't treat you well on top of this, sounds to me like he doesn't care all that much.