Who flirts with who? Figure you are maybe blaming your boyfriend here when the fault is mostly your Mom's.
Lets see, if your BF is 21, your Mom is gonna be early 40's right? A time when a lot of women wake up again and see themselves once more as sexual beings with needs and wants that no longer have to be subordinated to raising the kids.
A time when they still got what it takes to attract the guys, with the extra and devastating weapon of experience in their arsenal.
She is enjoying the attention. Probably very much so. And not really thinking about how it is affecting you. She feels desirable and sexy and young and giddy again. And why not? She did her time. Raised you right, didn't she?
Do you honestly think your BF would sleep with your Mom, or that she would sleep with him? If the answer is definitely no, let her have her fun. Flirting is usually pretty harmless.
If the answer is possibly, then you need to have the talk. With your Mom, not your boyfriend. Remember what I said about experience? She can shut him down more easily and more kindly than you can.
Women your Mom's age are usually sexy as hell. They know how to move. You could do worse than learn from her.
I say break up with him. Period. If you confront either of them and they don't wanna give up on the flirtation, they'll find a way to take it under the radar. Spare yourself the heartache. FYI I suspect that if you end it, it won't be long before he's getting it in with mom. But at least you'll see you dodge a painful, heart-wrenching bullet. In addition, a selfish mom that wants to feel young again will do things that a mom that respects unspoken boundaries would have put an end to it on her own.
Erica, you are so correct. It's blatantly obvious that neither the BF or the mother give a care about the daughters feelings, if they did they would put a restraint their "flirting."
i imagine that a 21 year old man getting attention from an older woman would do wonders for his ego. he might have trouble with stopping this behaviour for that reason. he probably thinks it's a harmless boost to his manly manliness ;) maybe you should ask him about that :)
My best friend was dating a guy who was closer to her mom's age. Since they met they had a spark. Once my friend broke up with her boyfriend he went back to her mom's house and they had sex. Within days of them breaking up (they were together for a year). After that my friend didn't believe her mother anything she said. She was hurt and in disbelief. Mom did not care about her daughter's feelings. I think you are aware you mom is acting like a child (maybe she always did, like my friends mom) and you are probably acting more like an adult than her. If not this guy maybe she will flirt inappropriately with some other boyfriend. And as others said he is of course enjoying attention.
I think you should maybe not bring boyfriends home :)
The thing is this maybe be a one off thing or you may put up with this with every guy.
Wait and see I guess. In the mean time you won't relax much since it occupied your mind too much anyway.
Tough situation.
Best of luck. I hope you figure out or feel out the situation and make some adjustments otherwise you will not be relaxed.
A 21 year old guy is a labido that is kind of like a firehose going full blast, have you asked him about what he thinks of guys that "follow" wemon with their eyes? Maybe he thinks it's perfectly ok and truthfully has no reason to think you are being hurt. I'd see if he does it to others when your mom's not ther "target". He may be doing it because he just always has, if he gives you attitude about it then he has no respect for you and your relationship. If he can't control his eyes then he can't control other things and he is like a sinking boat in the water, you don't try and save it otherwise you'll all go down. You back away and get yourself to emotional safety knowing he will eventually cause a lot of grief to the person he is with.