First of all, let's remove the comfy snuggie of honesty you've wrapped yourself in. You were not honest with him. You admitted guilt. Honesty after the fact is not honesty. It's just self-indulgent shame. Maybe you would have scored more honesty points had you felt guilty immediately after the affair happened, called your boyfriend to admit guilt, and then accepted his anger as a consequence of your actions.
But it sounds like A) he went off for a year thinking you were both committed. And B) you carried on an affair and only admitted it when he came back from wherever he was. Yes, it was an affair. Unless the two of you had explicitly agreed to date other people and see how things looked at the other end of twelve months, you cheated on him.
Long distance relationships are hard. The physical and emotional distance is a real strain, and they take extra effort to make work. I'm not suggesting you're a wanton harlot who didn't try. I'm sure you did. What's done is done. Here's my advice: first of all, don't feign being "surprised." If the roles had been reversed, and you had happily returned home to your boyfriend, only to be told he had been dating while you were gone, you'd push him away the way he's pushing you away. It's appropriate for him to be surprised and hurt, you know it, moving on...
Give him the space to make whatever decision he feels he has to make. Maybe he'll be sympathetic -- a year is a long time apart. Or maybe his heart is broken, and doesn't want your help healing. Either way, he feels betrayed, and I happen to think he is in the right here. Deal with it.
You admitted guilt, and now you're paying for your crime. This is no fun. But... take some solace that it's fair. Give him space, live your life, and whatever happens, or doesn't happen, between the two of you happens or doesn't.
Being the cultprit in a very similar situation I would have to say that hombre is DEAD on. Its tough. And if you're lucky your bf will forgive and forget - and at worst he'll hold a bounty over your head and go slowly insane at the thought of you rocking the boots with another. Either way its the cost of the action. Best thing would be to move on - which you've already proven you're capable of. Give your bf plenty-o-space and let him live his life. In time when the dust settles you'll both be in a better place to make a decision about what going to happen but until then your sol sweetheart.
Really nice advice!
My thoughts? This girl deserves whatever she gets. I did long distance with my now husband for 5 years and never cheated on him once. And he did the same for me. Being with anyone else would have been cheating. And cheating is almost (but not quite) the worst thing you can do to a significant other.
Wow, I've been away from my g/f for 5 months and if she did what you did, I would do a lot worse than push her away. It would crush me and I would want her to feel the same way. Let me tell you that you're lucky in that he is not vengeful. If you have any private pics or videos that you don't want the world to see, you should get rid of them now.
He will never trust you again nor will anyone who comes to know of your indiscretions. I laugh at your supposed honestly and so should be. You do not know what honestly or honor is.
From your brief statement, I can tell that you're quite young (18-22), immature and fickle minded. The best thing you can do right now is to realize that you are the village bicycle; and then decide whether you want to continue being what you currently are or be a girl who is worthy of a man's affection.
Personally, I believe that it is in your nature to cheat and that you have a severely inflated sense of self righteousness. You will continue doing this until you lose your looks, which will be quite soon (prognosis - 5 years max). Until that time, have fun and be the girl that everyone has a go with. I love girls like you around. Guys need bimbos like you to play around with before we settle down with a nice girl worthy of our long-term emotional commitment.
I agree with everything you say except... no one needs bimbos. Thats too much of a compliment. But thanks for being trashy and making the rest of us non-cheating ladies look extra nice!